The little things that people do for others are often taken for granted until they are no longer there to do them for you. It could be as simple as changing the cat litter and taking the trash out or as complicated as making it possible for you to survive emotionally, physically or financially. What would you do if you woke up in the morning to discover the one you had taken for granted was no longer there to take care of everything for you?
Examining yourself is difficult; admitting that you are dependent on someone else is extremely difficult. The realization that you have been taking someone for granted is a tough pill to swallow. Responsibility is something that everyone should take for themselves. With the exception of your mother, there is not a person on this planet that is likely to be willing to take responsibility for you and your needs, should you find the rare person that gives you all you need without taking, it is up to you to ensure you are properly appreciative and doing your part to prevent burning them out.
The words are free.
Everyone has things they have to do. The amount of things on the list will vary, but there are things neglected when someone has to do everything for someone else. A simple “thank you” is not too much to ask, but sometimes it is inadequate. More inadequate is complaining when results were not what you desired while someone else did everything for you. Ungrateful does not begin to describe what this behavior makes you.
Adults, given no physical limitations, or mental deficit, should be able to perform the tasks necessary to take care of themselves. The ability to take responsibility for successes and failures should be had as well. We can lay blame all day. While there may have been circumstances and interference beyond our control, in the end, it is up to each of us individually to make our own decisions and live with the choices that we have made. While factors affect those choices, often we forget that we have the option to walk away from those who would drag us down, and show true appreciation to those who make our lives easier just by being in them.
Frank
/ March 14, 2013Many thanks for this post. This is such a simple reminder, but unfortunately so needed. Goes along with smiling at a stranger you pass in the store. It’s a shame that we need reminders like this, then again, we humans seem to be prone to shrugging responsibilities.
Frank recently posted..On Time: The Musical
laurie
/ March 14, 2013Your welcome. Yes it is a shame that we need such reminders from time to time. Hopefully the day will come when we no longer need them. 🙂
spilledinkguy
/ March 14, 2013I’m pretty much completely dependent on someone else. If I woke up and she wasn’t there I doubt I could get out of bed. Literally.
spilledinkguy recently posted..Four-Leaf Clover (faux wet plate collodion)
laurie
/ March 14, 2013You recognize that, which means that you appreciate her and what she does.
Bo Lumpkin
/ March 14, 2013Great article. I agree completely. I have always felt that thankful people are the happiest people in the world.
There is a flip side too, we are not doing anyone a favor by spoiling them. It makes them become dependent.
Bo Lumpkin recently posted..Cardinals Choice
laurie
/ March 14, 2013Thank you, yes building dependence can be a large problem.
Christy Birmingham
/ March 14, 2013I sometimes feel like this, where my help is taken for granted. I tend to help people who are genuine and understand that to give is so important and care about me. Thought-provoking post <3
Christy Birmingham recently posted..Guest Poet in the House: Kristine Millar
laurie
/ March 14, 2013I think everyone does from time to time. It is nice when people appreciate others worth.
Gail Thornton
/ March 14, 2013After a lifetime of refusing help, I can accept it now, and have to due to disabilities. I was afraid of dependence, but now I depend on Mate to take care of me. If he were to disappear, and life happens sometimes, I know all of the ways to get outside help and still do have outside help to relieve the burden on him. The one area we would both suffer is the emotional dependence. We thank each other several times a day for the many things we do to care for each other.
Gail Thornton recently posted..Gail Thornton – Book Signing Success Story!
laurie
/ March 14, 2013that’s a beautiful way to do things.
BuddhaKat
/ March 14, 2013Such a basic human need – to be appreciated… and yet one of the rarest, often. Lovely post, Laurie…
Try giving back to that person from whom you “expect” certain kindnesses… surprise them with a freedom from filling your need, if even for a day…
And if you feel to be taken for granted, please don’t suffer in silence… martyrdom is not the saintly attitude it is purported to be!!
Thanks again, Laurie for this always timely reminder!!
🙂
BuddhaKat recently posted..Fractalia
laurie
/ March 14, 2013Thank you! It is nice when those that give to us get to give to themselves and are shown appreciation.
Carrie Rubin
/ March 14, 2013An excellent reminder to say thank you or acknowledge in some other positive way those who do so much for us. I am thinking of my husband here. You are right–it’s important not to take these things–or these people–for granted.
Carrie Rubin recently posted..The Online Blues—Is There A Relationship Between Social Media And Mental Well-Being?
laurie
/ March 14, 2013I think relationships are made stronger when we stop to appreciate those that do so much for us.
Conny Manero
/ March 14, 2013For this very reason I don’t like it when people moan and groan about having to work all day. They take their job for granted.
laurie
/ March 15, 2013We should be thankful for our jobs. Too often I think we forget that without them we’d starve.
Tess Kann
/ March 14, 2013I have never depended on anyone. I have always had to take charge. At this late date, I doubt I would ever be any less in charge than I am now. However, I am a believer of each partner supporting the other and neither taking more than is needed.
Post worthy of probing thought. Building dependance is a no-no in my book.
Tess Kann recently posted..Flash in the Pan: Amazed, Intoxicated, Aroused
laurie
/ March 15, 2013Striving to create independence in a child that could be dependent with an actual reason, it seems odd to be seeing so many adults with dependency issues that aren’t doing them any good at all.
prenin
/ March 14, 2013My problem is that I have spent my life in the service of others and it’s a hard habit to break!
Because of recent information from a trusted friend I now know that the guy who I have been trying to help the past few years has actually sold me down the river.
And to think of all I have done for him, even recently saving him from a nasty death!
There’s little gratitude in the world it seems…
Love and hugs!
Prenin.
prenin recently posted..Wednesday – Early morning trip to the Co-Op
laurie
/ March 15, 2013The lack of gratitude in the world has to be changed even it is as simple as not biting the hand that feeds you.
Love and hugs! Things will get better.