C is for Confidence

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Quick! Grab a scribble stick and a scrap of paper. Name three things you do well. No, now. Mark down three things you really do well. Any three things. Got your list? Good. Let’s talk about confidence.

It is easy to be confident about things we know we know how to do well. Chances are good along the way we encountered some of the reactions which encourage confidence.

  1. Success
  2. Validation
  3. Praise
  4. Questions of Methodology
  5. Requests to Repeat
  6. Sustained Success

Check Them Off

What made you think of the three things on your list?

  1. You have done them before, so you know you can do them well. (Success)
  2. An observer told you you did well. (Validation)
  3. Someone thanked you for the good job you did. (Praise)
  4. One who could not do it as well asked you your secrets. (Questions of Methodology)
  5. Someone asked you to do it again. (Request to Repeat)
  6. You did it well, again. (Sustained Success)

Even if you did not get all six, you got at least three. The four in the middle are external confidence boosters. We give other people the power to build and tear down our self confidence. Do note: The list begins and ends with you.

Attitude Determines Altitude.

Up at the tip top.

How you view an outcome helps determine if you will succeed. If you are determined you will be a failure, you will. You foresee your mistakes and make them any way, or you intentionally fail.

When you are unsure, you will inadvertently make mistakes. Explanation: You are worrying, which diverts your attention from the task enough to cause mistakes.

When you are confident you will succeed, even a non-perfect result is viewed as a success. Confidence does not always translate into perfect success. Β Confidence will allow you to see the good portions of the job and deem them more valuable than the mistakes. It also gives you wide berth to learn from the mistakes.

Success reinforces confidence.

It Starts With You.

M3 asked you if you had ever told someone you believed in them. Everyone who answered said they had. It is easy to see the potential in others. Telling them you see it boosts their confidence.

Now for the big question:

When was the last time you believed in yourself?

Write your answer on the bottom of your list. Let’s grade our answers according to the following scale:

Start in top blue diamond.

Can you do better?

If you did not score over 100 points, you can boost your own confidence. If you did not have three things on your list, think about the everyday things in your schedule you do well. Talk to Quaint. Ask what Quaint thinks you do well.

If you have not told yourself you believe you can do something or you believe in yourself, boost your confidence by doing one or more of the following:

  • Record on webcam: “I believe I can do anything well.”
  • Put up a note with the words I believe in myself.
    • On the refrigerator
    • On the bathroom mirror
    • On your monitor
    • In your wallet
    • On your sun visor
    • As a bookmark in your current book
    • In your closet
    • On the bathroom scale
  • Write a blog post about believing in yourself.
  • Write a journal/diary entry about increasing your confidence.
  • Write a comment to this post saying…

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!

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Can you boost your own confidence? Tell me something you do well. Let me know you believe in yourself!


(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2012
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49 Comments

  1. I did a comic strip on this, with a slightly different take on it:

    http://www.comics.wombania.com/2009/03/delusional-fraz/
    Binky recently posted..Cosmic InsignificanceMy Profile

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  2. As ever, you have a way of writing very timely posts! I’m in launch phase with my new shop and confidence – or the lack of it – is probably the single biggest thing most likely to kill the business dead before it has a chance to succeed.

    In some ways, the lack of confidence is something of a British disease, as we’re supposed to be modest and self-effacing rather than bigging ourselves up, which would probably be most unbecoming. Well, screw that.
    suzzlecakes recently posted..Up and runningMy Profile

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    • Gotta love it when the cat posts your comment before you finish typing it. Anyway, thanks for the kick up the backside and reminding me that I’m going to need to believe in myself if I’m going to succeed, and good luck with the alphabet challenge x
      suzzlecakes recently posted..Up and runningMy Profile

      Reply
    • Red

       /  April 3, 2012

      There is truly nothing wrong about stiffening one’s spine and saying “I can.” And Melly, you know you can! When in doubt, look at that gecko. It is a monument to your creative talent. No self-effacement necessary or warranted. Glad to see you today!

      Reply
  3. Lack of confidence is something I regularly struggle with. Only a few days ago I kept thinking that all the comic sites I visit are way better than mine then I started thinking that mine weren’t good enough to post for people to see then I was nearly gunna give up all together. It was only that I realised that all my wonderful readers that visit & comment enjoy them so they can’t be too bad after all. If no one encouraged me by commenting I probably wouldn’t keep going.
    Tony McGurk recently posted..Neville The Tasmanian DevilMy Profile

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    • Red

       /  April 3, 2012

      The absolute wrong scale to use is to measure yourself against someone else. I will use myself as an example. I have met some of the world’s best writers. It did not make me stop writing because I did not see myself writing to their standard. What I did do was, read my own writing and judge it on its own merits. It was good enough. Along the way, some of those I met saw me as I saw the great writers. In them, I got the middle four.

      Those who appreciate what you do will not always let you know. The ones who do should be respected enough to validate your efforts. You are good at what you do.
      Red.

      Reply
  4. plizgatm

     /  April 3, 2012

    I will be following you as well…. Tara (Travel Tara Style) Good luck!

    Reply
    • Red

       /  April 3, 2012

      Welcome to M3! Next time, enter your info for your blog so you can get a link to your latest post. A lot of readers around here are looking at the other A to Z blogs!

      Reply
  5. I think with a positive approach to life in general we can all do well, and yes with optimism and self belief anything and everything is possible πŸ™‚

    I like to think that whatever I do is done well no matter what that maybe and as you have already mentioned, anyone that sees failure before attempting something is deemed to fail simply through having a negative attitude…

    Everyone can do well, can be positive and have true optimism in one’s own abilities and that is the key to success πŸ™‚

    A fine posting for your ‘C’ Red and I know that you will complete this quest as your positivity is mind bogglingly excellent πŸ™‚

    Have a fun rest of evening now πŸ™‚

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
    • Red

       /  April 3, 2012

      Thank you, Andro. I have always held the opinion the only thing I could not do was sire a child. Conveniently, I have no call to do such a thing πŸ˜‰ All else is completely fair game. And should the first attempt not be deemed stellar, it is the beginning of another chapter in the textbook of life πŸ˜‰ Good to see you this evening,
      Red.

      Reply
      • Yes we all have to learn from scratch but once we have mastered something then we can only improve with time and the learning curves are always enjoyable, besides, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again… that is certainly true and we should all follow that line of thinking πŸ™‚

        Thank you for calling by earlier and adding your thoughts to my scripts I am getting ready for the next postings but that will be tomorrow now πŸ™‚

        Androgoth XXx

        Reply
        • Red

           /  April 3, 2012

          You are just whipping through them!

          Reply
          • Yes… I like that word…

            I will try adding another
            two or three tomorrow πŸ™‚

            Hey your Alphabet postings
            are far more complex than my
            offerings but it is fun πŸ™‚

            Androgoth XXx

          • Red

             /  April 3, 2012

            I so rarely do simplistic…Except for the Follies πŸ˜‰ My truest C word is probably “Complex”.

          • Yes Complex is a good ‘C’ word Red πŸ™‚
            I do hope that your evening is going very
            well at the moment and that you have
            some wickedly inventive games for the
            weekend, nooooo not with the children
            I meant with Bear πŸ™‚ Okay I know… Too
            darn naughty for my own good πŸ˜‰ lol

            Androgoth XXx

  6. Bear

     /  April 3, 2012

    Red well done as one who lacks confidence I will take notes from this and as always you build my confidence more everyday!

    Reply
  7. I’m a pretty good musician, considering I’m not a professional. Here’s a YouTube clip of me playing a jazzy version of Mozart’s Turkish March on guitar:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNHebDXRTtY

    I also kick ass at Sudoku puzzles.

    Oh, and I wrote a book I’m quite proud of, THE MAN IN THE CINDER CLOUDS, a tale about an ancient book found in the arctic ice that brings new life to an old legend…
    Rick Daley recently posted..A-Z Challenge: CaddyshackMy Profile

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    • Red

       /  April 3, 2012

      Hmm…You should check out the Writer’s Spotlight and see if you would like to join the fun…Tomorrow’s author is fab, and not just because her name is Red, too.

      Thanks for dropping by tonight, Rick.

      Reply
    • Red

       /  April 3, 2012

      Very interesting piece, Rick. I like it. Even if you are not getting paid…

      Reply
  8. Confident enough to work on letter D before the night is over…the homemade soup tonight was amazing, complete with fresh herbs from the garden. Wishing you only good things, dear lady:)
    M. J. Joachim recently posted..Connecting Beads, Buttons, Sequins and Embellishments to CrochetMy Profile

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    • Red

       /  April 3, 2012

      Yum. I want a bowl! Me, too. D is almost done πŸ˜‰ Have a great night, MJ!

      Reply
  9. Could go all day on this one. My confidence got broken horribly years ago, it took a long time to separate what was real and what was me. It took even longer to begin the process of putting things back together. Unfortunately, I am in a business that regularly beats the hell out of you, without at least some ego I would never survive.

    Right now though? I am feeling a distinct lack of confidence in several areas of my life. Guess I need to work through it again.
    valentinelogar recently posted..Trayvon and MeMy Profile

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    • Red

       /  April 4, 2012

      I truly think it is a struggle which, once won, must be maintained with continued effort. I have never found confidence to grow in the wild. It must always be cultivated and protected.

      Reply

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