Your non-spambot captain has decided to turn off the no smoking sign and allow me to hi-jack M3 for the day. She’s doing well, no alien or any other type of abduction; just a well deserved day off, if you can call it that. You realize her mind never takes a vacation, and she’s managed to get Finding the Path published on top of everything else.
So while she rests, we’re going to chat. The topic of choice? Decisions. Are you ready to face the reality, or you going to be the ostrich?
Decisions are the hardest thing in the world to make, but the easiest thing in the world to let someone else do it for you. The problem would come in when you resent the decisions; little things like requiring you to be and act like an adult who takes responsibility for their own actions because you are.
There are decisions to make from the time we first pop our heads into the world, and they do not end for us until death greets us. There are those that are thought over until they cause our heads to spin, and then there are decisions that we make on the spur of the moment. The ones we make in the moment, like a one night stand or leaving our other halves in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on our backs, are the ones that we cannot turn back from.
Those are decisions in the moment, or the straw that broke the camel’s back. One is more fun than the other. Deciding that the one you are with is what’s killing you is a matter of paying attention; there is a reasonable chance it was obvious to everyone but you for longer than you’d care to admit.
You know that you should leave them, but you put it off for more reasons than you care to acknowledge. The childlike whines and lack of reality make you want to punch them in the face, but you bite your tongue and bide your time. Do you stay for the children? When they are grown what is the excuse? Do you stay out of fear of having to get off of your fat ass go be self-sufficient without a net?
What happens when someone else is making all of your decisions? Do you have the urge to punch them in the face or simply pull your own hair out? When the decisions are for your child do you get more irritable? Do you talk until you’re blue in the face or exile them?
In the end the decisions we make, though we think they are only taking a toll on ourselves, take a toll on the ones who love us, depend on us and, in the end, trust that we are worth the time they have invested.
When is the last time you made the decision not to give a damn about the wagging tongues of busybodies that have nothing better to do and leave the things that make you miserable?
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