Day 20: Who me?

You have not read it around here but a couple of times. This one will be a big reveal or a complete bust. Which do you believe it will be?

Of my own accord, I have no traditional fears. Agoraphobia is an anxiety issue more than a fear. I do not fear for myself.

I have told you the only thing which frightens me is what does not frighten my children. It is completely the truth. The things which do not strike fear in my children give me grey hairs by the handful. Fear is not something I instill in my children, which happens to be a family tradition.

With all the daredevils, there is an abiding fear I have. It is child-related, but not the same as what they do not fear.

Momma & the Man CubMan Cub has little chance of becoming an adult who functions at a level where he will be able to live on his own. I fear for his safety, emotional and physical, when I will be unable to shelter him.

Even if I am able to amass the wealth necessary to keep him in comfort after I am dead, I cannot be certain he will not fall prey to those without scruples or compunction. I will never have serenity over it.

Yes, I am a parent.

Do you have a fear you know is beyond your control? Are you up to the challenge?

Hashtags: #30daychallenge #fear

Thank you for sharing The M3 Blog with hashtags.

Β© Red Dwyer 2013
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.
Previous Post
Leave a comment


  1. I keep telling myself that short kid will be completely independent and the only thing I have to be realistic about is what she can do right now. Then I start to frantically wonder if it will ever be enough and how I’ll live forever to keep her out of an institution.
    Laurie recently posted..Day 20: My Fears?, Day 21: How I Hope the Future Will Be and Day 22 My AcademicsMy Profile

    • That is what we need to do with the lottery money. Open a commune for autistic parents so we always know someone loving and understanding will be there for them.

  2. “Do you have a fear you know is beyond your control?”

    Death and the potential finality of it all
    Bearman recently posted..Ewww that SmellMy Profile

  3. I can’t imagine what that fear must feel like.
    Hopefully his siblings and extended family will be with him throughout…
    El Guapo recently posted..Please Help Find NicholeMy Profile

    • I would hope so. I have seen so many families torn to shreds after the parent leaves a handicapped child as a legacy to siblings.

  4. That is a big one which is difficult if not impossible to allay. At least you have a large family which should make it easier.
    Binky recently posted..Because It’s ThereMy Profile

  5. Given all that is possible, we shall work toward a future that will afford you hope. I believe this is the best we can do.

    I love you.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Calm WatersMy Profile

    • For now. I am still pondering the lottery winning angle I proposed to Laurie. I love you, too.

  6. My fears run along the same lines as yours. Though my children are older and able to live on their own… I fear leaving them behind without someone who loves them like I do.

    It’s hard for me though, even with this fear of mine, to fully understand how deeply this fear must go for you.
    C. Brown recently posted..In The CloudsMy Profile

    • I have talked to other parents with similar fears. They marvel at the fact I have three such children to worry over.

  7. I have paranoid schizophrenia and demo phobia.

    Also I am about to face losing my benefits because our government have declared war on the sick and poor – I am both.

    ‘Nuff said! πŸ™

    Love and squishy hugs!

    Prenin recently posted..Monday – milk and lottery tickets.My Profile

  8. An unknown future of any child must be a weight to carry for most parents but where a child needs special needs and a greater understanding then that fear of not knowing must be far greater.

    Luckily you have a large family that understands his needs and requirements and so I feel sure that when that time arises that there will be lots of care and attention given and that he will be fine my great friend πŸ™‚

    He is a real cutie by the way πŸ™‚

    Andro xxxx

    • I certainly hope so. I think he is adorable, even if I am biased. πŸ˜‰

      • Being biased takes nothing away from his cuteness and he certainly is a little gem πŸ™‚ I can see the magnetism and total love that you share πŸ™‚

        Andro xxxx

  9. benzeknees

     /  May 29, 2013

    If you can afford it maybe you could find someone you trust & can afford to pay to look after your son when you pass on. Or you could start a foundation to set up a series of special homes where the children can be cared for to supplement their own abilities.
    I have never had this fear myself, but I feared for my daughter greatly when she was young because I was a single parent & I was worried she would not be independent enough to keep someone from abusing her or raising her contrary to my beliefs. Consequently, I started training her to be extremely independent very early on.

    • Regardless of how much money I can muster, there are no others who are in support of a group home environment, especially the local governments. The few institutional (residential) facilities geared for autistic children/adults which do exist are full to brimming and not taking new clientele unless a current resident dies or loses their benefits. The remainder are basic care nursing homes with high incidence rates of misconduct. They are not geared for autism. Parents who cannot afford private care are forced to leave their children with family (when they will take them) or they end up on the streets or in a psychiatric ward or prison.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.