Testing Follies

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In a week where we tested the limits, broke a bunch of furniture and were filled with righteous indignation, the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere is full. It is entirely possible I will need to find replacement rivets for it. Put your drink to the side because it is time for an around the world trip through the M3 Friday Follies.

Had to go Somewhere

Voldemort gets no ink this week other than the credit for how much has ended up in the inbox. Sheesh. Apparently, there are enough places to find my WhoIs and my email address. Clyde wound up with the leftovers from the failed SEP to discuss personal information. In an M3 first, I had to delete more comments than are on the post now.

How about a highlight reel?

Why are you bashing internet security? O ya. No one would want to steal your identity.”

Not true, but thank you for the endorsement. Mine has only been stolen by credit card swipe technology. And then, only three times.

It is in the terms of service nobody can use your imformaiton. That’s why they keep it.”

Really? What about the clause which says they can store, edit, modify, broadcast, share and otherwise cause to be displayed the information you provide in order to make their websites run? Guess you stopped reading a little early.

Beauty is not an opinion. Everyone knows [redacted] is the most beautiful woman on the planet. You can’t argue some people are not beautiful.”

I beg to differ. Beauty is completely subjective. While many have told me I was beautiful, I was voted ugliest in my class for seven consecutive years. Beauty is, indeed, in the eye of the beholder.

(Aside: The redacted name is not one of the women who are known for being mathematically beautiful, and was definitely not her.)

Inventor of wifi

And showing an utter lack of originality, the tried and true:

How many husbands do you have to kill to be off the internet?”

Apparently, all of them.

Military Ignorance

I am pretty quick to admit I know a bit about war from the ones who fought it. In fact, most of what I know about war convinced me I would never get the real story from history books. It needed to come from the mouths (and fingers) of those who have lived it.

Candi thinks I am stoopid. Hatemailing from our militant neighbor, Canada, Ottawa to be exact, she is certain I have it wrong. “It” to be exact is both militarily and geographically.

There is no such thing as a “hump” between india and china. India is flat and so is china. All of that part of asia is the same. Sure they have hills but really. There was nothing to fly anything over over there during the war. India and china were never in a war together. Dont you research this stuff first?”

Am I the only one who can imagine a heart over the “i”? I put on a huge grin for this one…after I got up off the floor.

I always wondered why the US military called it “Indo-China”. See, I was taught the Himalayas were over there somewhere, but if you are right they are on the north border of China. Is that what you mean? Funny, how do you explain the 2,000 foot difference in altitude between India and China?

Good thing I have to learn these things to teach school. Sheesh.

Swirlie

Contrary to the consensus, one hatemailer agrees with me… there is nothing romantic about me. Dahlia hatemails from Nevada to say I should quit while I am ahead.

Why the [expletive] do you think killing somebody’s wife is romantic?”

Anyone want to pen a response to Dahlia?

Misfiled

I have one of the most bizarre filing systems, yet it is not something which overcomes my OCD in terms of M3. Around here, things are logically filed. To do otherwise would be far too assuming of me. Despite my diligence to ensure there are no “uncategorized” posts or blatant misfilings which would lead to undue traffic (which I am sure Voldemort appreciates…not), Madison is sure I got it wrong.

Hatemailing from Henggangzen, s/he is certain I have no filing system whatsoever. Specifically, Mantra, The Muse is the post in error.

So you got this Mantra for a Muse thing and this romantic thing but you put this on another day inplace of what should be here. [Expletive initials] are you trying to do? It is confusing enough you kill people on romance day and muse on monday so [expletive initials] is muse on tuesday all about?”

Apparently, I needed to clear all feature changes through him/her. Let’s get interactive, shall we?

Thank you for your interest in the scheduling of M3 features. Although Red frequently polls her audience as to their preferences, your complaint is lodged more than thirty (30) days after the expiration of the poll in question. Keep visiting M3 to take part in more polls in the future. Help guide M3 to be the blog of your dreams (without all the hassle of writing it yourself!).

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In a genuine issue with authority, it is uniquely Red’s perspective to defy the calendar and naming conventions established in society and on The M3 Blog. While your hatemail has been duly noticed, you should receive your response from Red within the next week. She makes a point of acknowledging all of those who choose to lend a guiding hand to M3. Keep reading!

~~~~~

In my own unique way, I have developed a strategy to divorce society from the hindering parameters set by the calendar. I fully believe in virtual time and hold the opinion everyone should mark the passage of time by their own scale. For the small fee of $15, you, too, can own a Red calendar, if you choose to embrace my time line. It comes complete with 27-30 hour day each week (which is nine days instead of the paltry seven), to ensure all the time you need to complete those rush projects.

If you would like a course on how to manage time your way, please forward the standard fee of $79 to me, and we will schedule your session before the end of my year. It happens to coincide with March 15, 2013 on the Gregorian calendar.

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What do you want to bet, Madison has already missed the answer?

Truly Dystopian

So, just in case you were unaware, my horns and hooves were on display yesterday for all who came to visit. In yesterday’s very simply named post,Β Bad,Β I created a true dystopian society to engage in the lively discussion which still continues where we set the parameters for a utopian society.

To say the hatemail has trickled in would be one monstrous

I am fairly certain we could devote an entire post to the hatemail generated by this one post. Should we send it past Madison to have a Friday Follies in the middle of next week? Β Anyone want to put it to a poll?

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Thank you for joining me for the 46th edition of the M3 Friday Follies from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere! I hope you week has been free of Internet security, schedules, maps, romance and hatemail. Have a wonderful weekend.

What shall we send to Dahlia? Let me know what you want to send to Madison. Tell me if you would like a specific episode of Follies where we discuss the hatemail from Bad. Drop by and let us know what you think about utopia. Be sure to vote in the poll.

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42 Comments

  1. Dahlia,
    The purpose of killing off his wife is to end up marrying him. This makes it easier to kill him off and collect the insurance.

    As for Madison, #3.

    Reply
  2. Everyone knows [redacted] is the most beautiful woman on the planet.

    Redacted? Who was it?
    Bearman recently posted..Texas Secedes from United States CartoonMy Profile

    Reply
  3. Mathematically beautiful? That was a new one on me.

    However, I suddenly realized you’re talking about Marg (my beautiful wife), who is number one in my book.

    MJ
    MJ Logan recently posted..LightMy Profile

    Reply
  4. We could be testing Follies all week at this rate Red, but at least the hatemailing horde provide us with a really good laugh πŸ™‚

    Roll out the ‘Bad’ Follies
    next as we enjoy the giggles πŸ™‚

    I think that number three
    is a perfect choice for Madison πŸ™‚

    Andro xxx

    Reply
    • I do think it is high time some of them pay for their stupidity. I think we just may have to do it my friend. A bit of turkey on Thanksgiving methinks πŸ˜‰

      Reply
      • Yes lots of turkey and chocolates πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰
        I know that you will be having a great
        time this week Red, sooooooooooooo
        have a wicked time and be good πŸ™‚ lol

        Andro xxx

        Reply
  5. You are surely the only one on the net who revels in hatemail, Red! You do well in dealing with it too πŸ™‚ Very well.

    But in all I read, I just couldn’t believe your class teacher for 7 years in a row even allowed a ‘vote who is ugliest’ contest. I can’t believe it. That’s just horrible, & as usual, you’ve dealt just fine with sh*t.

    My friend Kathy from old school days is a redhead, & she got boys before I did. I was SOOOOOOOOO scared of them!!

    You’re a wonderfully strong woman, Red. I can imagine you have confident children, too (your daughter, at least, I know of)
    Noeleen recently posted..The Benefits of Excessive Alcohol ConsumptionMy Profile

    Reply
    • LOL! I went to school with “the beautiful people”. My best friend got rhinoplasty for her sweet sixteen because her Swedish father was not sure a master’s would get her a suitable mate to carry him through retirement. Back in those days, my ginger was blonde or ashy brown. I did not return to my roots until well into my 20s. πŸ˜‰ And my daughters are so much like me everyone comments as much. I am very proud of them.

      Reply
      • That contest needs reviving, mind you I imagine that with you not ever being picked again that it will surely upset all those beautiful people, after all they could be amongst the most ugliest people in the world by now πŸ™ lol

        Have a wonderful weekend Red πŸ™‚

        Andro xxx

        Reply
        • I have seen a few. Some have approached me on LinkedIn. One has as a profile picture a photograph I happen to know was taken in 1986. Methinks it tells the story. πŸ˜‰

          Reply
  6. These posts bring some of the greatest levity into my life, Red! Your responses are brilliant. My turkey day would welcome a complete post of more hate mail from your audience. I think we should put them all on notice, once a fool, twice a fool in the Friday Follies πŸ™‚
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Poem – Anaphoric RideMy Profile

    Reply
  7. I propose we develop a scientific beauty equation to once and for all make it a measurable quantity. Thus no one would ever argue about its subjectivity ever again.
    Binky recently posted..Extra Large Pepperoni With MushroomsMy Profile

    Reply
    • One has existed for years, Binky. Google “Mathematical Beauty”. There are a number of people (men included) who come infinitely close to the model. Besides her, of course. She was beautiful and could have designed the model herself.

      Reply
  8. Ooh! πŸ™‚

    I’m grinning at the incredible stupidity of these, but as for the best reply I’m at a loss for words! πŸ™‚

    I guess number three gets my vote – if she sends you the cash you’ll be in the money! πŸ™‚

    I agree about the calendar though – just not enough hours in the day, or days in the week… πŸ™

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.
    prenin recently posted..Friday – Quiet day.My Profile

    Reply
  9. Am I the only one who can imagine a heart over the β€œi”?

    This made me laugh. What a unique and just perfect characterization for the inhabitants of Twitdom.

    Reply
  10. Do you mean to tell me Pam Anderson chased beauty and failed? Teets aren’t the arithmetic?

    Someone run, tell the surgeons they are all going to be sued for false advertising….oh no, all those plastic bubbles.

    I call it three (3), yes for certain it is three. Pay up or shut up.

    Reply
    • I think if you had not already covered beauty-out-of-the-box I might have. 98% of all plastic surgery goes in the opposite direction from mathematical beauty. Yeah, see…boobs are not on the face. (I know this is a shock for most men.)

      Reply

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