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Blasphemously Bad Follies

If you were one who voted for Follies instead of turkey this Thanksgiving, settle in, but set the eggnog off to the side. It is super sticky and murder to get off your screen. This is the special 47th edition of the M3 Friday Follies…for Thanksgiving.

Poetically Backward

Many of you who read Bad had already read the poem which was referenced in the first paragraph. Blindness was on point because it speaks of the judgments we can easily make, regardless of our ability to see the truth. (Link opens in another tab, so you will not lose your place.

Hatemailing from Saskatchewan, Julienne was positive I was fishing… without bait.

There’s nothing wrong with seeing fault in others. Some people need you to tell them when they are awful. You especially.”

And especially from you?

Conspiracy Theory

I see what you are doing wrong.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with finding fault, it is necessary to not throw rocks in glass houses. I feel quite certain your unmitigated finding of fault with my association of Blindness with the hyperbole in Bad is indicative of your utopian existence. Would you direct me to your blog/website where you espouse and expound upon your utopian principles in the spirit of common good?

Do not bother Googling. There is nothing to find. Pity. It may have made either a good advertising client or a great Follies subject.

Culturally Unsound

How often am I called down for my definitions? Often enough I have a subscription to the dictionary, despite having four such books at my fingertips. Yes, I know I am odd, having read them.

Up to challenge such knowledge comes Jasper, hatemailing from Tennessee. So far, you should not have a clue as to his complaint about my definitions. I had to read it three times to not stop to laugh. Want some highlights?

In today’s society, that you are damming, “bad” is used to mean good. You cannot make something bad when bad means good because all you are going to do is confuse people…Bad is not just a slang term. It is for all kinds of things like meaning “really good” and “cool” and “sexy”. What is sexy about what you are describing?…Why not call it “dead”or “over” or “destroyed” cause you are not describing anything bad here.”

It has been a long time since I was in Tennessee, but my sister, who lives in a holler in Tennessee, assures me there is not much urban culture in the state. Methinks he is a transplant… or needs one.

Over the years, I have come to realize the murder of the English language proper by those who believe the use of antonyms and monosyllabic words to represent common words and complex principles in an attempt at defining generational identity is indicative of a lack of genuine passion for creation and a resounding conviction of sloth.

On the other hand, those who choose the incorrect homophone to iterate positions or evince clandestine knowledge is a demonstrative exhibition of ignorance. The irony such individuals self-righteously attempt to convict others of impropriety with scripting of all sorts certainly is not lost on me.

Was that sexy enough? Or should I have pointed out his beaver, too?

Religiously Ignorant

Tess had a poignant realization, which occurred to a hatemailer; albeit, the thoughts were distant cousins, thrice removed.

I knew there was absolutely no way I would make a post with the term utopia and skirt the zealots. Enter Charliza. Hatemailing from the holy state of New York, Charliza felt the need to educate me.

How can you blaspheme this way and no one comment on how offensive you are? Utopia is not imaginary. It has existed and we threw it away in search of Knowledge. This heathenistic article just shows you are part of the reason it does not exist any more. We did not need the Knowledge. We just needed to trust God to take care of us and we could still be in Eden.”

Holy delusions, Batman!

I have been told by many I look really good for my age, but I have never been paid so high a compliment. Do you think anyone else suspects I am Lilith?

I think I need a new snake. A constrictor. She could use it as a muffler.

Occupationally Challenged

One doctor came to chastise me for my use of the caduceus. Apparently, Dr. R was disturbed I would use such a blatant misrepresentation of his/er profession. Hatemailing from Connecticut, Dr. R had this to scream.

What an egregious misrepresentation of the medical field. How dare you disparage the storied history of the caduceus by portraying it in such a horrific way? Medicine is a noble profession that strives to relieve suffering wherever it exists. You should be ashamed for putting those dragons around those tattered wings.”

Want to bet he buys Playboy© for the articles?

I completely understand why you took up medicine rather than history. Mercury was the guide of the dead. He also represented the shepherd, merchants, liars, gamblers and thieves.

Your American heritage is clearly on display with your apparent miscarriage of history, which predates the medical community’s 200-year-old misinterpretation of a symbol used for nearly 4,000 years to mean something entirely different. I would point out it comes from the medical community being math-challenged to all numbers without trailing zeroes. Why would you know the difference between one and two?

On second thought, perhaps you personally are using it as it was initially intended. Which are you: liar, gambler or thief? Given your profession, my guess is all three.

If you think customer service is dead, can you imagine going to this person for medical treatment? Why do we graduate people who cannot read? My guess? There are picture menus from the drive-thru under the seats of his/er Jaguar™.

Premature Dissatisfaction

We have often been regaled by those who did not get past the title. Such is not the case with our next hatemailer, Nadia. Hatemailing from Wisconsin (someone needs to remind me to unplug from their cloud), she had a problem with my motives.

The absolute evillest. Circa 04MAY12

You have to be on some FBI watchlist somewhere. Only a terrortist could come up with a world where all those diseses runs wild. when the world comes to an end I hope they come looking for you.”

Who? My fellows? I decided to attach my portrait to the hatemail you pen back to her. What shall we send to Nadia?

~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you have enjoyed the Thanksgiving version of the M3 Friday Follies. This special 47th edition from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere comes with our special wish everyone be thankful they are not constant recipients of hatemail.

What shall we send to Nadia?

Happy Thanksgiving from the cast behind M3.

Compliments of Little V

© Red Dwyer 2012
Playboy© and Jaguar™ copyright and trademark to their respective owners who have no affiliation with The M3 Blog.
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office. 



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20 Comments

  1. Nadia, I can’t be on an FBI watch list. You see I work for the government in chemical warfare, I create the disease and natural disasters that the world suffers from.

    Geez, I had to read these morons in more than one sitting to keep from choking.
    Laurie recently posted..The Reason I Write for A LivingMy Profile

    Reply
  2. I think some people have dedicated their lives to spreading ill about your posts and writing hate mails to you.. it has to be that. and to top it all they are now writing in riddles…my my what the hell was that about Bad is good and very good ..Jasper you need some good pills buddy or may be you need to get off them,well whatever helps
    Sorry but that FBI watchlist comment was hilarious.
    Soma Mukherjee recently posted..October Festivals in India and Wombat dayMy Profile

    Reply
    • Soma, your guess is as good as mine. My guess? I would have to burn so many brain cells in order to understand, my skull would cave in. So very glad to see you! I cannot wait to go read your new story! <3 xxx

      Reply
  3. If everybody ate enough turkey every day, there’d be no more hatemailing. You can’t be angry when you’re full of turkey.
    Binky recently posted..After School SnackMy Profile

    Reply
  4. One prescription for the doctor. All volumes of the Oxford Dictionary, to be read before you hatemail me again!
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Poem – On Hold to ParisMy Profile

    Reply
  5. I can’t believe one of these brain dead human disasters is a doctor! 😮

    I think I’ll stick with my own thank you – at least he only THINKS I’m mad!!! 🙂

    Boy do you attract the weirdos… 😉

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.
    prenin recently posted..Thursday – Medication day.My Profile

    Reply
    • See my comment to Gail! I think I have a homing beacon in my forehead. It must not be chanting BBBRRRAAAIIINNNSSS!, but I think it is the zombie mating call. 😉 {HUGZ}

      Reply
  6. I am smh.. and I can;t think of a witty thing to say to ..her… capt with that pic put the caption as –

    oh never mind – I have another thought but I am barely able to stay awake much less think…

    um that i n;t the caption lol.. I’ll be back… Muah! LizZZzie
    Lizzie Cracked recently posted..Bipolar Bytes; Decking the Halls and Turkey BallsMy Profile

    Reply
    • ROFL! I am thinking if I wrote that, she would understand it. Perhaps, I could write that but translate it into some other language with a different alphabet? *snort*

      Reply
  7. Nadia and my friend Scarybear should hook up! With just under a month until the End of Days, they have a lot to talk about. Perhaps they could even overcome their species difference.
    All the most interesting people are on FBI watch lists.
    Liquorstore Bear recently posted..The Parallel 49 Brewing interview…plus a Mountie, some gin news, and a groundhog in a bowler hatMy Profile

    Reply
    • Hahaha! I am imagining they rightfully could! I am so glad the end of days email is still slow. I can imagine there will be plenty of it next month. I think I should sell tin foil hats with the M3 logo. What do you think? Glad to see you today LS Bear! xxx

      Reply
  8. You know of course, Jasper is my favorite. I hope and pray you sent along the beaver.

    As for Nadia, no answer for this one. She wants someone to look for you when the world comes to an end? Isn’t that rather counter intuitive?

    Why are all your Hatemailers so dang stupid?

    Tell Ms V I love her picture! Hugs
    Valentine Logar recently posted..No RestraintMy Profile

    Reply
    • I know. Perhaps, I should put an urban dictionary on my Amazon wish list. LOL! Nadia was missing something there. Then again, if I am a demon, methinks the search party would be looking to celebrate. Miss V says, “Thank you.” <3

      Reply
  9. OK, I admit, I enjoyed myself WAY too much on this post – more from your responses than the SIB offerings! I’m still teared up from LOLing so hard at your reply to Jasper!!! I love what you can do with words! You definitely have many friends in the word spirit/muse scene!!! All the suggestions for nadia were very good, but I think translating Lizzie’s comment is the BEST!
    ALL WAYS a pleasure!!!
    love and hugs

    🙂

    Reply
    • Mantra curtsies sweetly 🙂 I love the idea of translating whatever I send. Glad you got a great case of the giggles <3 {HUGZ} xxx

      Reply
  10. “Dear Nadia,
    The world already has come to an end. Did you miss it? And here we are. You know what they say, it’s heaven all the way to heaven, and hell all the way to hell. I know that I made it here by spreading all kinds of diseases around the earth via words. How ’bout you??”

    Sorry I’m late (better than never), holidays and all…. Hope you’ve been well!! xL

    Reply
    • They were great, Laura. I am glad to see you today, busy woman! <3 I need to come see what you have on offer these days. xxx

      Reply

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