I am a Grammar Nazi.

There is nothing derogatory about the moniker. In fact, I wear it with a sense of flair. Can you imagine my reaction to this (unedited) email from Mark?

English: Grammar Nazi Icon with background

Badge of Honor

certainly like your web site but you need to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling and grammar problems and I in finding it very bothersome to inform you. the reality then again is I will certainly come back again.” 

Oh. My. Well, hat’s off to you there, pal, for noticing the splinter in my eye without seeing the sequoia stuck in yours. Let me introduce you to the “,”. It is called a comma.

The reality? You would have been better off a spam bot in my iggy bin. It would have saved me blue penciling your email… since I edit my grocery lists before I shop.

Hitting the Snooze Button

The “Gimme Mine” Button

Eve comes to The M3 Blog from Germany. And apparently, she does not do it often. You see, she has not checked in here for a while because she found it was getting boring. Since I have recently posted some quality material which interests her, she guesses she will add me back to her daily blog list.

Hey, Eve… It is called the FOLLOW button. Then again, I was probably the only one to wish her Merry Christmas.

Virtual Blackmail

In a week filled with giving and receiving awards, I upset a woman from Indiana. She wrote to me to spout off the following:

  • There is nothing special about this blog.
  • Are your readers that stupid?
  • You can’t possible read that much.
  • How much do you have to pay for these award things?

I have the blogosphere’s most awesome readers, bar none. All I have to do is pay it forward, but thanks for stopping by.

Bottle Redhead

A man in Wisconsin made a few comments about my overall appearance, sex and my age. He used all the power of Google at his command to mine the following observations:

Waiting for a C-130

  • I seen your picture and you arent a real red head.
  • Why dont you post a picture from now instead of when you was young.
  • You cannt be little like a girl.

While it is true the grey hairs have no red, all the other ones do. Unless your Google has a time travel option, there is only one picture I have been able to find of me more than six years old… and I posted it. That, by the way, was bottled hair color, but still ginger. And nitroglycerin comes in tiny packages.

So, Wisy, continue to Google me. And let me introduce you to the ‘. It is called an apostrophe.

Kindest regards,
The Grammar Nazi


© Red Dwyer 2011
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38 Comments

  1. I laughed and laughed. Are these really real people?

    Reply
    • Yes, ma’am. Every Friday Follies comes from my inbox, Facebook or comments I refuse to let through here. This week was tame. You should see what it looks like when we talk about sex.

      Reply
  2. Love it, love it, love it.

    Reply
  3. No,they are not real people, at least not the first one. Red, I have to chuckle about this. It’s too funny. I write for a web site that received exactly the same email, word for word, with the same criticism of spelling and grammar. ( I routinely delete questionable comments the site receives, and I just noted THAT one again today). The comments are from a spammer, cut and paste, word for word.

    I’ve seen that comment from the same dude several times.
    This guy probably sends a thousand of these messages every day to web sites and blogs for $9.95, — ‘earning big money at home’ planting LINKS in the body of the comments.
    Really. Isn’t that handy? That’s one of the ways you know your blog is successful, the devious are already hopping on your coat tails.
    I don’t know about the other comments, but if they come with any hot link, squash’em with that spiked red heel.

    Reply
    • I wish that was a comment. I delete about 20-30 of those a day. This guy was in my inbox. Maybe Mark has graduated from comment-spammer to email-spammer. Do you think it comes with better perks?

      Most of my comment spammers are plumbers (do not ask), credit card recovery sites and this one woman (?) with a bee site. I question because her avatar says “George” but she signs the comments “Adelaide”. I do not have the brain cells to figure that one out.

      Reply
      • Red, same perks, same guys, same system………Actually WordPress does send email confirmations for comments to blog owners,–if you have settings arranged to receive comments for moderation/deletion or approval.

        I’ve received hundreds of emails to approve comments for that specific site already (It’s a bathroom flooring/ design site ) and routinely delete them to keep them out of the site.
        They’re just hoping you’ll approve them and leave the email hot link live so curious people will click on them. You’ll end up getting all varieties–even the same messages including different LINKS (done by the same individual) and there are a lot of very questionable sites, discount drug stores, and sex/dating sites.
        I specifically noticed “Mark”‘s specific comments because in the email I received re. the other site, he was insulting MY articles.
        Too funny, isn’t it..–and his ‘comment’ is actually quite literate compared to some of the idiotic comments we receive for ‘approval’…too sad .

        Reply
        • I have eight or ten now that are duplicates from different addies. Again, mine are mostly plumbers and credit card recovery scams.
          So far, the sex video spammers are only about once a day. I say that without having looked at the dozen new ones this morning. *sigh*

          Reply
  4. Sounds like you are having a lot of fun – it’s amazing how these people try to sneak up on you! 🙁

    My junk folder on my email addy has to be emptied daily because I keep getting phishing emails which I just pass on to Microsoft to deal with.

    So far the spam has been kept out of my blog space, but they do keep trying…

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

    Reply
    • I think there are some which still get through here, but most I delete. I do appreciate Askimet. If I could get Askimet to read my email, I could probably save about an half hour charge time on my BlackBerry not having to read the things.

      Have a great night (now morning there)!
      Red.

      Reply
      • Yep: Batteries have their limitations…

        Yes, it’s 3.07am here on a windy and wet morning – and I can’t sleep so I’ve made a huge mug of Horlicks bedtime drink and shortly I’ll be listening to radio plays saved on iPlayer which is a BBC application that allows UK residents to watch recorded programs and listen to recorded radio plays for seven days after they were first shown/heard either on your PC or on your Playstation 3.

        Great entertainment as you wait for the sun to rise…

        Love and hugs!

        Prenin.

        Reply
  5. And I thought I was being left out of the fun Red. Akismet has blocked 11,346 spam comments so far. I look at the ones that slip through because a small percentage are legitimate. Email? I have never gotten strange email. Matter of fact, I don’t get much email at all through my blog. Suits me just fine.

    John

    Reply
    • Good grief! If it makes you feel any better, I could send you some strange email. *Evil Grin* I get so blooming much email it is amazing my BlackBerry ever works. Akismet is working much better now than before, which is a blessing. Some of the ones I have spammed which actually got through are now stuck like squid babies in the filter.
      Red.

      Reply
      • I got a real winner in my email this morning:

        Subject: “Hot latinas banged by Germans”

        Text: Rise to the occasion (followed by link to viagra)

        I cannot imagine a person who would be dumb enough to click on that link.

        John

        Reply
        • ROFL! You may well be A.M.A.Z.E.D. how many would click on it. If no one did, they would not still consider it a viable marketing campaign. But then again, how many people fall for the “You won the (insert country name) lottery!” scam?

          I am so glad all of my Viagra and penis enlargement email goes into a self-deleting folder!
          Red.

          Reply
  6. What a hoot. I find a lot of jumbled nouns and verbs in my Akismet folder, but no one criticizing my grammar. Perhaps it’s because I make up a blog words if I can’t grasp the right one and the spammers think I’m one of their own.

    Reply
    • ROFL! Apparently, based on us just mentioning spam, Akismet and stupid email, I have a fresh dozen in the folder! Maybe I should be making up words. But then again, some of the words I use, which are English, WordPress does not know. *giggles*

      Reply
  7. John, if you’re hurting badly and feeling neglected email-wise, we can always all get together and donate leftover Grinch Junk mail” to you about green legs and spam. Happy New Year!

    Reply
  8. Ha!
    My wife is the leader of the grammar Nazi party…
    Perhaps its founder, but I can’t be sure. What I am sure about is that if one is a writer and said writer’s wife is an editor/leader of the grammar Nazi party, then said writer gets what he deserves!!!

    Happy New Year!

    Reply
    • And I voted for her to remain dictator another three years! Happy New Year to you and her both!
      Red.

      Reply
  9. Bear

     /  December 31, 2011

    Penis enlargement hot latinas banged by germans!!!!!!!!!!! Why was I not informed of these wonders!!!!!! I must find the sites and click on them! I am alway left out, well except for the breast enlargement ads. I already have moobs. I dont want them any bigger! Fuuunnny.

    Reply
  10. I like that the lady from Indiana took the time to write you to say your blog is not worth following. (by the way totally disagree!)
    christyb

    Reply
    • I am so glad you do! And I will always be amazed at the people who write to me to tell me whatever I wrote was not worthwhile. *shakes head* I love irony! Red.

      Reply

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