Now, I know Money is the center word in the header for M3 (at least for now). This graphic in combination with You need to start tomorrow. brought a woman from Arizona to call in the inbox to say,
Devilish, I tell you.
stop telling people to save money. people don’t need to be saving money. they need to be giving it to the less fortunite. not everybody can have a lazy job on the intranet.”
Wow! You are right. To be on an intranet, you have to have one of those jobs which comes with a W-2 or 1099 which requires you to work for a living and gain a paycheck to give away. Thanks for playing.
(Considers writing thesis to Congressmen in Arizona RE: Education Allocations. Decides it is easier to vacation elsewhere.)
My Personal Sex Bot
Porn Spam Rocks
In what has to be the funniest spam bot ping I have ever gotten, I read the search term to which No Parking was associated:
Top 10 Most Bizarre Animal Sexual Rituals”
I have asked before if the blog had its skirt tucked in its panties, but now I am convinced someone has registered M3 with a porn directory.
(Idly wonders if she should blog about skunks, naked pygmies and the whips necessary to restrain them both. Thinks better of it because the spiders will all open this post instead.)
Free Advertising
After reading Fasten Your Seat Belts, a “Supervising Manager” in an ad firm from Minnesota offered me this tidbit…for free.
Maybe if you blog werent so mean you would have more readers. But even if you like to be mad I can hook you up with some web sites to get you more traffic.”
Thanks all the same, Durwood. I already have a personal sex spam bot helping me out with more traffic than I know how to handle without a press agent and a personal social media manager.
(Googles requirements to be a supervising manager, mistakenly thinking all managers supervise…and can spell.)
Who do you think you are?
Never married...
Only moments (truly less than two minutes) after Marriage is a Credit Card went live, the inbox chirped. Oh, yippie! Mail. The message left me to guess the sex of the anonymous hatemailer who delivered this gem to me from sunny California:
Stop pretending to be something you are not. You have probably never been married. Who could put up with somebody as insufferable as you? You don’t know everything.”
Well, newest fan, you are right about one thing: I do not know everything. Maybe, just maybe, that is why I leave a question at the end of the post…So, I can learn something, too.
(Scratches brain to invent an enlightening question. Closes cranium knowing roaches prefer the dark.)
Not to be Outdone
Also in the inbox during this pinging, came an email from Elaine from North Dakota:
You dont know [expletive deleted] about marrage. if you keep blogging about it someone will get a divorce which is just evill of you. why doNT YOU JUST QUIT BLOGGING SO PEOPLE CAN LOVE THEIR MARRAGES?”
Let's fortify the bunker, shall we?
Return email:
Dearest Elaine,
I do not blog about mirages, although to some a happy marriage is an unattainable image. I also do not blog about barrages, although some of my post can be considered friendly fire. As to your prediction about divorce, I can only hope you will be the one who fulfills that particular prophesy.
You are correct about one thing. Feces has no useful part in marriage to my knowledge. Perhaps you can enlighten me how to use feces as a marital aid.
With kindest regards,
Red.
~~~~~~~~~~
I hope your week has been free of the stupid emails which constitute my Friday Follies. Have a terrific weekend!
grantahelms
/ January 6, 2012Thanks for the laughs! Don’t know which were funnier, their comments or yours. Like you, I will be taking a hiatus. Will see you again next week…MAYBE! God Bless You, Grant
Red
/ January 6, 2012Good on you! Enjoy! Red.
awarewriter
/ January 6, 2012Hi Red.
Email generated from my blog is sparse and infrequent. I received a message a few days ago that made my day, my week and more.
I visited a blog a few months ago and left a suggestion in my comments. The person who wrote to me told me she had been having some life unpleasantness that was affecting her work as a photographer/artist. She remembered my suggestion the other day, followed it and “[it]…reconnected me as to why I love capturing images … Continue your writing and photographing for it is very inspiring to me.”
Receiving this message of thanks was humbling and inspiring. When you know there are people like this woman out there, the ingrates (I’m being polite here) don’t matter at all.
John
Red
/ January 6, 2012How well I know that! Most of my uplifting supporters come here day in and day out and comment out in the open. I truly have the best audience anywhere…even if I need an exterminator in my inbox.
Red.
Alexandra Heep
/ January 6, 2012Wow. I had no idea that 16 hours a day online spent writing, researching, and finding more work, while struggling with MS type symptoms, at wages that only would count in East India, was considered a lazy way to make money. Where is this Intranet? Perhaps I can be pointed in the direction of someone less fortunate.
submissions from the snark-o-file. 😉
Red
/ January 6, 2012ROFL! I love it! Now you know, there are so many “unfortunite” people you may have to take on more than one… *giggles* 🙂
Laurie
/ January 6, 2012Hey Braindead in Arizona, send me some of that money for the less fortunate! I’m trying to rid the world of idiots!! Oops, that puts you at the top of the list……..
Red
/ January 6, 2012ROFL! Love your charitable contributions *giggles*
J. Scott Sharp
/ January 6, 2012We should give our money to the less fortunite? Fortunite!? I live in Arizona and I am now going to move! I can’t afford for any of this idiocy to rub off on me!
Red
/ January 6, 2012LOL! I think there is a sewing circle in AZ which has my email address. They keep passing it around! So glad you stopped by to comment! Red.
Rachael Black
/ January 7, 2012Holy shit hahahahaha. If your writing agitates the hell out of them then why -I know it’s tough to comprehend- do they READ it? Or even bother to comment.
The stupidity of the masses never ceases to amuse me.
You do realize that this makes you Intranet famuz as a non-working, infertile, hate-mongering, anti-marriage seal clubber correct?
Yet another reason to admire your style Red 😉
Red
/ January 7, 2012I believe that is the nicest title I have ever gotten! Bwahahaha! Will all of that fit on my internet star? 😉
Marc Phillippe Babineau
/ January 7, 2012Great post! I get weird and stupid emails every day now. My favorites are the ones trying to get millions of dollars out of their country and all they need is your personal information. They always appear to be written by a 6-yr old kid who failed English twice!
I always want to send return emails with fake information and even worse grammar, but am afraid they may be sent by Russian mobsters..
Red
/ January 7, 2012For giggles I forward them to my hatemailers. 🙂
nigelld
/ January 7, 2012Thanks for the chuckle Red, freedom of speech, even bad speech, has got its draw backs!
Nigel
😉
Red
/ January 7, 2012LOL! Tell me about it!
ihavetriedit
/ January 7, 2012Wow. Do people really not know how to spell “marriage?” All I have to say is “wow.” 🙂
Red
/ January 7, 2012I get that spelling more often than I get the correct spelling!
lorrelee1970
/ January 7, 2012I love your responses to these people. I must say though, I think they are reading a different blog than I am. I’m pretty pissed about it too. Do you have a more controversial blog that you are hiding the link to? If you do, I want to know about it. I want the opportunity to be outraged to the point of forgetting how to use the english language.
On a side note: Could I someone trace the breakup of my first marraige to you? I’m actually grateful, but if the kids ever bring it up, I could direct them to you.
Well, I have to go now and give money to the less fortunate, which means it’s going in my wallet. Besides, you’re so mean, I don’t know why I keep reading this stuff.
Red
/ January 7, 2012I am so mean I already told your children I intentionally broke up your first marriage so you would be less fortunate. I will email you a link to the “real” blog.
Being really good at conspiracy theories, I postulated my blog was suffering from Google translate, until I realized the blog is written in their native tongue, which they bite the end from in an effort to nip me in the bud. I think teachers need a raise.