I want

I wantDo you know what you want? Can you make it into a comprehensive list or is it merely the the amorphous content of the fugue of dawn?

I want things to be different.

I want the loneliness to go away. I want to know I am accepted for who I am, not for how I am perceived. I want someone to care enough to get to know me. I want someone to have and ask a hundred questions a week, or a day, and to listen to the answers and remember them.

I want someone to want to hear what I have to say and understand the words I use to describe, declare, proclaim, question and muse. I want someone who laughs when I say something funny. I want someone to listen when I whisper.

I want to feel loved without feeling like a prisoner reporting to a warden. I want someone with enough chutzpah to tell me I am wrong.

I want to lay my head on the pillow at night and feel skin against mine. I want someone to want to touch me, hold my hand, brush my hair from my cheek, hold the small of my back, put a hand on my neck when our lips meet, push back when I lean and hug me every time like it is the last time.

I want someone to miss me when I am away or when he is away, even if it is just a few hours.

fall flowersI want surprises: ones which make me smile, amaze me with appropriateness, baffle me with sentiment, prove I am worthy of attention and affection, puzzle me with kindness and take me completely off guard.

I want someone who wants to share. I want to hear about childhood, teen angst and misadventure, maturation, corporate views, dreams, desires, tenets, and I want all of the revelations to be integrious. I want him to realize where his boundaries are before he tells me and keep them after.

I want someone who will let me cry without trying to save me. I want someone who cries when his body feels the need.

I want someone who wants to read what I write and has high enough comprehension skills to know which questions to ask to clarify what is written between the lines.

I want to stop being an island. I want the ability to be weak when I am tired of being strong. I do not want to be judged in my moments of weakness because my strengths and weaknesses are a balance which defines my abilities.

I want someone who recognizes my capabilities without expecting me to do everything and without being in competition. I do not want to be the best one in the relationship. I want us to be on level ground.

What is it you really want? How does knowing what you want make it easier or harder to get what you want?

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  1. Your wants are whole and raw and express vulnerability. What do I want? I want my son to be happy and continue to be healthy (after his emergency surgery a few months ago). I want my 35,000 word book draft to miraculously turn into a bestseller. I want people to not be mean. I want my horrible neighbors to poof! disappear. Like my wrinkles and cellulite-I’d like them gone, too.
    Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain’s Wife recently posted..Where Fashion and Function Meet and MarryMy Profile

    • We want some similar things, Shell. I have wanted people to stop being mean for …ever. I think neighbors are designed to test our patience so we do not lock our teenagers away. Being vulnerable is one of my strengths. xxx

    • I don’t know you but I too hope that your son continues to be strong after his emergency surgery, I wish you and your family a happy Christmas too 🙂


  2. I believe when you know what you want, you cannot settle. You owe it to yourself to work towards what’s best for you, for you won’t be happy with second best and you deserve more.
    The age-old question still is: where is he hiding? <3
    Tess recently posted..Shanghai: Day 12, Part 1 – Flight to WuhanMy Profile

    • You know, Tess, I have seen it so many times before: I want a stellar lover, a gentleman, a husband, a friend and a playmate… and I want them to never meet one another. 😛 LOL! xxx

  3. I know exactly what I want. Got it written down and everything. Coupled with discipline, I’ll get there.
    totsymae (@totsymae) recently posted..A Holiday Blessing from the CastMy Profile

  4. I know how you feel, but you have so much more than I!!!

    I have been ruined physically by my medication, my one chance at being a father was exploited y the woman who begged me to be the father of her child so she could charge me for a phantom abortion and I have no partner and no friends I can trust because of being perceived as a cash cow they can milk and have done for the past 24 years.

    I live alone with only friends like you to trust and no hope of a better life, but I am ALIVE despite all the Police, Press and Media tried to do to me.

    Sometimes we need to be grateful for what we have and pray for ‘Jam tomorrow’.

    Love and huge hugs my sweet friend! 🙂

    Prenin recently posted..Sunday – A trip to the Co-Op.My Profile

    • Aye, Pren. I have much. Ambition brings me to the place where I admit my desires for the best of the marrow of life. I have no fear in seeking it because the worst which could happen is I never find it but have a lifelong adventure to show for the trouble. Cheers, Pren. xxx

  5. What we want is much the same.. We all of us need to feel wanted Loved cherished, respected..

    I hope your searching ends soon.. The Universe as we know gives us exactly that which we ask for..

    So when we want!.. we are kept Wanting…

    Love and Blessings Red.. have a wonderful week, and ThanksGiving for all that we have..
    Sue Dreamwalker recently posted..Change is in our HandsMy Profile

    • Thank you for the Thanksgiving wishes. Now, I am now unpacking. I just made a bargain with the children: Eat all your supper, and we shall put up a tree. I am looking forward to happy plates. Bright Blessings <3 xxx

  6. Reading these posts, I realize (once again) how very blessed I am, despite losses by death of loved ones, for my life is filled with the best of friends and a peace that passeth all understanding, even my own.

  7. Sometimes it’s hard to admit what you want, even to yourself. I think many people want pretty much what you want. To be understood and appreciated and to be loved for what and who you are. I’m not sure where those people are hiding, but they have to be around somewhere.

    • Indeed, in my travels I have met a few. I have come to believe they are an endangered species in society at large.

  8. Father will be 91 Saturday, 29th. He took a very bad fall a few days ago , fractured arm and shattered wrist. Too old for surgery. Just hope he heals up well naturally. He’s lived with me last 14 years so I am here to help him with all functions.

    • Best of get well wishes for him and you, Carl. What you have undertaken is a wonderful task, albeit a difficult one.

  9. It’s not the wanting, it’s the getting…
    El Guapo recently posted..Bark vs BiteMy Profile

  10. Red, mon cheri,

    Found a moment’s peace, & read this, which prompted what I can only call a trance, from which I just emerged moments ago… So much to say, this is hardly the place to go beyond the simplest level of answer; more than that I’ll say more later, elsewhere… as soon as my hands allow it…. and I can calculate when you’ll have the time to read it…

    But, I will say, I do know what I want, a list at least as long as this post, with much in common… I’ll also say that the knowing makes it both harder, and easier, at once…

    As always, stimulating & challenging…

    A bientot,

    gigoid, the dubious



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