Quaint is a blonde.

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Our exercise of the seven predispositions proved much in terms of how we use our own experience coupled with stereotypes. (Yes, your comments led us here!) Let’s see how that affects how we feel about blonde Quaint.

I am like that.

blonde girl

The very first thing we do when we meet someone is try to find similarities. This gives us some common ground to share for important things, like conversation. As you learn about Quaint, you are learning about yourself.
Many of the comments qualified the instant reaction by identifying how the commenter is (or was) one of the seven descriptors. Why is that?

I know because I am/was.

Those instant reactions are a form of judgment. Whether we like to admit we stereotype or not, we do. When we see ourselves in someone else, we assign our feelings about our condition to Quaint.
Those of us who have been blonde remember it with nostalgia or disgust. We either enjoyed the time we were blonde (young childhood) or hated the way we were treated (as though we were stupid).
For the good memories, we see Quaint as someone who represents fun, childhood or innocence. For the bad memories, we either assign sympathy or disdain for Quaint. We seek out the intelligence to dispel the stereotypical myth or we fall headfirst into the assumption Quaint could not hold a cogent conversation.

I know someone who is/was.

Now, hold on. Did you know Quaint before you were introduced yesterday? It is baseless to assign character (or lack thereof) to Quaint based on the actions or inaction of someone else. This is guilt by association. Just because your lying, cheating thief of an ex was blonde does not mean Quaint is going to sell you down the river for a lottery ticket.

I am a redhead.

English: Woman with natural red hair

Being different offers a great opportunity. Diversity is the spice of life. After all, if we were all the same, where would the fun of the discovery phase be?

Embrace the cultural, spiritual, educational, emotional, physical, occupational and/or familial differences. You may well learn something which would make your life a much better place. And if you discover something which makes friendship impossible, do not assign it to the next blonde you meet.

Quaint is such a blonde.

Stereotypes all begin somewhere. If it turns out Quaint can be confused by alphabetizing a bag of M&Ms, chalk it up to someone has to graduate at the bottom of the class, instead of using it to concrete your theory a lack of melanin is indicative of a lack of intelligence.

Quaint is a member of Mensa.

Proof positive exists: Stereotyping is all claptrap. When Quaint casually refers to the second law of thermodynamics as prohibitive to the irreversibility of time, hair color becomes thoroughly irrelevant.

Stay out of the bear trap.

If you cannot avoid judging Quaint (and you cannot), be fair enough to judge only Quaint’s characteristics, rather than the ones you assign based on your knowledge and experiences. If you are lacking information, ask. Finding this portion difficult?

Be the bait.

Do you want to be judged by your appearance, Quaint’s experiences and the “Hello, my name is (Mud),” you gave Quaint to go on? Thought not.

If you have missed any of the first four installments of the Identity Series, please visit the posts below:

Who Are You?

My Answer

Hated to Do It

Diamonds, Q-Beams & Rednecks

The comments are always key to how we get to next post. Feel free to comment on the past posts as well as this one.


Which friend were you the most wrong about at the first impression? About which of your children’s friends were you most wrong? Which stereotype could be wrongly used about you?

© Red Dwyer 2011
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29 Comments

  1. Because I have a mental illness it is assumed I am dangerous and have twice been refused jobs because it was feared I would ‘go postal’ and murder my fellow workers.

    I have now given up trying and just enjoy life as best I can, but I still find myself judged according to my mental health rather than as a person.

    Meet me in the street and you wouldn’t know I have Paranoid Schizophrenia – yet people on finding out this small item of information back off at a high rate of knots…

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

    Reply
    • This is another example of stereotypical ignorance. Are we as a society so lazy we are willing to accept stereotypes as fact and discount the natural ability to be the “exception to the (assumed) rule”?

      Reply
  2. Try this one on –

    I was blond, Southern, with big (well you know) and it was still the time of big hair (bigger the hair closer to God).

    I moved West (Seattle specifically). My (well you know) entered the room before me, they drew the eye. Then I opened my mouth. With those three things my IQ dropped by a minimum of 30 points, immediately, with the first Hello.

    Sometimes it worked to my advantage. Most of the time it simply pissed me off.

    I dyed my hair to muddy brown and learned to keep it closer to my head rather than God. I went to a speech pathologist to lose my Drawl, learned to speak like everyone else. Couldn’t bring myself to lose (well you know). My IQ went up 20 points immediately (still lost some for the well you know).

    Reply
    • I will always be amazed how anatomy is still translated to a loss of intellect. Yes, cretinism is alive and well in America. *shakes head*

      Reply
      • I’m with Red on this one – body obsession may be a survival tool, but it sure can be a pain!!! 🙂

        One of the girls I looked after was seriously unhappy with what Nature gave her and opted for a larger size boob job.

        Her self esteem has gone through the roof and she’s in a settled relationship with her first child, but I put it down to her increased self esteem rather than the addition of silicone…

        God Bless!

        Prenin.

        Reply
        • Pren, it is a sad social commentary she felt the need to alter her body to have the courage to build self-esteem. The silicone did not put it there, but the acceptance she garnered after the implants did. How sad is our society to demand any physical standard for acceptance beyond solely on merits?

          Reply
  3. Excellent post Red! You are quite right to say we automatically judge, there is no point in denying this or pretending otherwise. Who does pretending help? We fool no one, including ourselves, and it is a waste of breath.

    Reply
    • Good point. An amazing amount of energy is wasted in the beginning of relationships doing the “I am accepting everything about you because you are my friend” dance. At the end of the first dance card round, the dancers are so tired, they cannot do anything except be (irritated, outraged, disappointed) Quaint did (or not) live up to to the pre-information judgment. Red.

      Reply
    • Christy B, that’s a great observation, ‘automatic prejudging’ is a natural trait. ” Subconscious selection of potential mates” comes to mind and of course the inborn tendency to evaluate “pecking order” and safety concerns as well. The cave (wo)man functions in survival mode even today.

      Reply
      • It is actually DNA hardwired, Ray. But that is a biological post as opposed to this psychological post.
        Red.

        Reply
  4. I know “blondes” with curvy, big anatomy–individuals that are instantly judged as dumb bimbos–the classic stereotype, but they are, in real life — extremely intelligent and well-educated.
    @ Valentine, I have seen that very thing happen so often!
    Others (both genders) look like neanderthals,– but are all equally intelligent, kind and thoughtful people. Not only that, their personalities sparkle, they are stellar people, and interestingly, they seem to try a lot harder!
    Many ” beautiful” people rely on ‘good looks’ alone–but are dull and dumber than fence posts –and arrogant too- practicing self-entitlement and acting like God’s gift to humanity. Some of these are actually very lonely people.
    Conclusion? Looks really are only skin deep. Prejudging anyone by anatomy and appearance is a huge mistake. Red, you’re right, ‘cretinism’ is still thriving.

    Reply
    • Which leads me to a Redism of epic proportion:

      The box the package comes in gets thrown away.

      Reply
  5. Hey I will be back to add something to this one, I was just calling in for a quick look as I am just about to sign out, well I was only getting my e mails originally but then I had a little snoop into WP and here I see this delightful blonde image, then a lovely redhead, and then… well that last image looks rather nice too, okay enough said and I will be back to read the full posting later, maybe on the morro but I will certainly add something more than this fleeting comment that is for sure 🙂

    Have a lovely rest of afternoon and
    a wondrously nice evening also Red 🙂 😉

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
  6. Sadly, even when we try not to do this, we do it. Fortunately, many of us recognize this and attempt to suspend judgment or be more flexible with those we meet. I once met someone who had to put everyone she met into a ‘category’. I know this because she informed me she was having trouble finding one for me. SHEESH! I personally tend to look at the eyes, they are often telling about what’s inside the package. But, you should never firmly fix your judgements at a first or even second meeting. Take time to peel back the layers and see the gem underneath.

    Reply
    • Very good advice, Angie. I like to think of it as a favorite book. The second time you read it, you get something more out of it than you did the first time. Red.

      Reply
  7. I have been blond and have had black hair and everything in between, but never liked red hair on myself. Low lights, highlights, streaks, chunks, etc. My original color is a mousy brown.

    Now, since my illness, I haven’t been able to maintain blond hair (my favorite from all looks) and I am unable to go to a salon. To me losing that blond hair is synonymous with losing my health and while it’s not my real look, yes I have mourned it.

    I guess, in short, blond to me means vibrancy and fun – and setting myself apart from my mother.

    I tried red over a year ago, but it never turned out bright. See, I wanted it very very red – I do not do things halfway. Right now, I almost hate my hair.

    Reply
    • It is interesting how we assign a certain look with different emotions and levels of self-esteem. My son did the very, very red, but his is naturally black. Good to see you tonight, Alex.
      Red.

      Reply
  8. I think that times have changed rather a lot to be honest; I mean in my own opinion the large breasted blonde is no longer assumed to be such a bimbo, well not in every quarter of the planet anyway. It seems to me that there are many wonderfully formed, curvy and delicious females and that is definitely something in the positive, hey not that I am ogling every woman with large breasts to see if she is brainy enough you understand, indeed there is so much more in a woman to behold…

    Right, before I dig myself a rather large hole I will leave this comment as is and only add that whatever colour a woman chooses for her hair whether it be natural or dyed, and however large her breast implants are it changes absolutely nothing regarding her intelligence as the real woman lies within, just waiting to be discovered, pampered and worshipped…

    I mean in mind and body all women are beautiful creatures but don’t quote me on this one or I might be digging for a very long time 🙂 😉 lol

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
    • And had you gone just a mite further I may have had to ask to see your heavy operator’s license! You are right, of course. All persons, male and female, are valued on what lies within rather than the trappings and wrappings.

      May just have to start calling you the Digger. 😉 Red.

      Reply
      • I am digging, I am digging it boss…

        Have you seen that film called
        Cool Hand Luke? 🙂

        Well if so then he was shaking it,
        and he too was a good digger as
        I recall? 🙂

        You have a truly great Space here Red 🙂

        Androgoth XXx

        Reply
  9. I don’t think about a person’s hair color as a determining factor of anything. My son’s pediatrician is a blonde and what really bugs me about her is her squeaky, kid-like voice. I know she is smart, but it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I stopped using my nutritionalist at the YMCA because of the same voice.

    Reply
    • You and I will have to not talk on the tele. I have the worst voice.

      Reply
      • I’m sure your voice is fab. How shallow did I sound?

        Reply
        • Hahaha! No, really, my voice is atrocious. And no worries, I have similar hangups with other things. I even got into a disagreement with someone this week when they tried to convince me I was not judgmental, a long standing self-diagnosis.

          Reply
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