Arguably, no is the most powerful two-letter word in the English language. (If you can think of a better one, I am all ears.) Although, on the surface, no is a negative word, we are going to delve in the positive side of no.
No, I do not know.
No, I do not know.
Despite redneck movies to the contrary, not knowing something is not necessarily a bad thing. Can you think of three things you do not want to ever know?
- The height which truly scares a 4-year-old tree climber.
- The feeling of touching a 2,000 degree kiln.
- When or how Mate or I will die.
- How many Styrofoam pills it takes to fill the vacuum canister.
- The cost of replacing a pool pump with a Hot Wheels car stuck in it.
- It is almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
Think of this no as an opportunity to learn what (not) to do.
No, there are not any more.
Things which should never be on this list include, but are not limited to, the following:
- Toilet paper
- Food
- Mascara
- Coffee
- Clean towels
- Pillows
Things which should be on the list:
- Bills
- Crime statistics
- Bad health news
- Judgments
- Exit interviews
- Rumors
Composing the list of only negative things is the ultimate goal. Making sure the necessities are on hand is an integral part of creating a stable home. Keeping the negative things on the list is as well.
No, we cannot do that.
No time down the drain.
This no is the key to time management. Learning to say no to some of the opportunities to (go, do, help) is also a key to sanity. Despite the fit of your cape, you cannot possibly say yes to every request for your (time, resources, money) and still maintain your lifestyle and sanity.
While this is not an endorsement to embrace avarice and sloth, it is an endorsement to not feel guilty for not being able to (volunteer, endorse, fund) every cause which comes to call. Consider your beliefs and priorities before you agree to save the (day, whales, world).
An important addition to this list is the ability to say no to more work. It is an exercise in the adage: The more you do, the more you are expected to do. When you take on additional assignments, especially ones which do not increase your pay, you are creating an environment which leads to abuse of your generosity.
No, we will not talk about that.
No talking.
Probably one of the hardest things to avoid is mordancy. It truly has no winners. When you talk bad about someone you look smaller. It destroys trust your Quaint places in you by opening the possibility you may one day speak that way about Quaint. Better to say nothing at all than to speak badly.
If you cannot hold it in, go to the person and discuss it. Perhaps, you have jumped to a conclusion which is mitigated by circumstances you do not know.
Another application of this no is gossip. Even if you know what you are saying is the truth, you may not know how much damage what you are saying may cause. When you feel like someone should know a truth about Quaint, ask Quaint to disclose. After all, it is Quaint’s responsibility.
Do speak up here.
The only exception to this is when someone is in mortal danger. Do not wait for Quaint to tell Child to get off the railroad tracks when the guard rail is down and the whistle is blowing. Do wait for Quaint to tell Child about that embarrassing cross-dressing incident in high school.
No, I do not accept this.
This no does not apply to the facts in life, like gravity, but it does apply to bad behavior. Some of the things on the no acceptance list include:
- Verbal, emotional, sexual and/or physical abuse
- Crime and/or abetting crime
- Addiction
- Enabling abuse, crime and/or addiction
Ridding yourself of the poisonous people who engage in these destructive behaviors is one of the most difficult things you will ever attempt, especially if you care for them. Love does not conquer any of these behaviors.
You must love to stop bad behavior.
If you are engaging in these behaviors, you are not loving yourself, Quaint, Mate, Parent or Child, or any other member of society.
Getting help for the person may be beyond your control. Offer help. If it is turned away, remove yourself from the destruction. You would not stand in the middle of a blast zone. Do not stand in the way of the shrapnel of bad behavior.
Loving from a distance hurts, but is a necessary means of survival. Have the strength to say, No, I do not accept this as a healthy part of my life.
~~~~~~~~~~
What other no is a positive portion of your life? What other things can be added to the lists? When has saying no meant a positive change in your life?
spilledinkguy
/ January 23, 2012I’ve always had a hard time saying no.
But I’m working on it.
🙂
Red
/ January 23, 2012It has fewer letters than yes. I have a mean streak a country mile wide, so no is not so much a problem for me. *Wicked Grin*
Derek Mansker
/ January 23, 2012There are so many good causes, it can be hard to say no. You are right in that there is a need to know what the priorities are. As far as what to say no to– That also is about priority for me. I say no to drugs, alcohol, frivolous spending and things that would destroy my family and ministry.
Red
/ January 23, 2012I am beginning to wonder if there is a call for exposing some of the waste in the “good causes”. I worked a long time in the charity trade, and yes, it is a business. I have cut back almost all of my donations in favor of the 300 hours I volunteer each year. Those charities I choose very carefully to be sure I am not abetting the charity crime which is rampant in the US.
Red.
Derek Mansker
/ January 23, 2012I am referring to even more than just money, but time. There are good causes that I can spend my time on. This is even greater in my life in ministry because there is a fine line between what I am “expected to do” and what I actually am supposed to do. Not that you can never do more than required, it is just understanding where to draw the line. It is a constant battle.
Red
/ January 23, 2012I think you have just defined it well. The difference between what you are supposed to do and what you are “expected” to do. You have no obligation to fulfill others’ expectations, regardless of how reasonable they seem to them. Whatever you may do beyond your obligations should come from your heart rather than emotional extortion.
Red.
prenin
/ January 23, 2012Having to tell Step-dad Hugh (complete numpty when it comes to PC’s, printers etc. – you get the drift) No when he expects me to fix his PC after he has picked up Malware while perusing porn sites and I’ve just had a call from him for instructions on how to change the ink in his printer.
I think I’m getting one of my headaches…
God Bless!
Prenin.
Red
/ January 23, 2012This sounds like a lovely time to admit you have a kettle on and haven’t the time. I get a lot of those calls as well!
{HUGZ}
Red.
Androgoth
/ January 23, 2012I like this one Red, and I had a bit of a chuckle in the “No, there are not any more” part of your posting, I guess for the lack of toilet paper this is where The Three Shells come into operation (It was offered as a solution for that annoying scenario in a film that starred Sylvester Stallone but unfortunately I cannot think of the title, it could have been Judge Dredd?)
The idea of replacing a pool pump after a Hot Wheels racer has been snagged in there is also a funny one, okay not if it were to happen for real but kid’s do some really wicked things, indeed my sister’s little one flushed a very expensive scent bottle down the toilet and unfortunately it got stuck, ahhh the things that children get up to just for fun 🙂 lol
Have a wonderful rest of evening Red 🙂
Androgoth XXx
Red
/ January 23, 2012The movie is Demolition Man. Love it! And where do you think I got the idea of the grapefruit? Red.
Androgoth
/ January 23, 2012yes Grapefruits, Scent Bottles, and Whole Toilet Rolls, it is not just the Andrex dog that is naughty with those toilet rolls… Thank you ‘Demolition Man’ thank goodness now I can get some sleep later on and not be thinking about that one 🙂
And don’t be too good okay? 🙂
Androgoth XXx
Red
/ January 23, 2012I just had to put you out of your misery as you have mentioned it twice this week where I have seen it! And I can guarantee more toilet rolls attempt to make it to the ocean than anyone is willing to admit. Knowing the post I am currently writing, I do not see “too good” in the forecast 😉
Red.
Androgoth
/ January 23, 2012I know what you mean 🙂
There is a new script in
My Gothic Realm that is
Hot off the Press, I do
hope that you like it 🙂 😉
Have a wickedly enjoyable
rest of evening now Red 🙂
It is Coffee Time Next 🙂
Androgoth XXx
My Inner Chick
/ January 23, 2012~~~Red,
Interesting post!
I am much better at saying “No” than I used to be. I
guess that comes w/ maturity.
Love.
Xx
Red
/ January 24, 2012I am pretty sure you are right, Kim. While I have spent most of my life being able to say no, it has only been recently I employ it for good instead of evil. 😉
Glad you had a chance to stop by. I wish you would leave a link to your blog in the Green Room. I am certain many of my readers would enjoy your blog!
Red.
xxx
ansuyo
/ January 23, 2012I have learned to say no and it is sooooo freeing! It frees me of resentment when I say yes and neglect something important for this task I didn’t want to do. It frees me from overextending myself and turning into a crazy lady. I used to drop and run whenever anyone called. I was so nice that people took advantage of me. Now I am still nice, but I’m also nice to me.
I like your no (se?) I feel a yes post coming:) Angie
Red
/ January 24, 2012(psssst….noes) There is a good shot there will be a yes post, but I think it will need to wait for a few others I have bubbling on the back burners 😉
Marc Phillippe Babineau
/ January 24, 2012“No, I have no interest in trying Heroin or cocaine!” would be right up there, along with the twice I uttered “No, I don’t think we should get married” (of these, one was committed, one ended up a successful suicidal).
Sometimes, “No” is a great thing!
Red
/ January 24, 2012Seems as though no works rather well for you!
christyb
/ January 24, 2012Saying ‘no’ can mean even more than saying ‘yes.’ It lets others know that you will not be a push-over and that you value your time. This is a good reminder to readers that it IS okay to say ‘no’ and that people who really care about you will accept it when you say it and understand your circumstances.
Red
/ January 24, 2012Very true. While every now and then you get a troll, one who cannot understand no is not a qualification or value statement, the ones who need our help always understand the simple mathematics of budgeting time and resources. Red.
lorrelee1970
/ January 24, 2012No I will not give/cave in. Give an inch, take a mile happens a lot in this house and As of yesterday, with a weekend behind me creating charts and rules……I’m taking back the house with a big ole “NO!” and no maybes.
Red
/ January 24, 2012Good. Is the door still closed?
lorrelee1970
/ January 24, 2012It is. The idea of harming their brother to the point of no return worked. In fact…..even visitors do not dare to leave it open.
Red
/ January 24, 2012Good to know some things are complete success. Adults. You know what their problem is, right? They are other people’s children.
Rachael Black
/ January 30, 2012Ah… I…. know
(sorry. couldn’t help it)
Red
/ January 30, 2012ROFL!!! I will show you…Wait until the 2000 post 😛