If I was on Death Row…

What would you order as a last meal?”

I really had to think about this one. Since I was not sure what I would answer (or if someone thought I should be on death row), rather than the tired I don’t know, I asked a few other people.

Disgusting, but True

The more novel answers I got were of combinations of favorite foods and well-thought-out meals:

  • Tacos and Mac & Cheese
  • Philly steak and Mac & Cheese
  • Three Reubens, Crowder peas and strawberry short cake
  • Baby back ribs, cole slaw and fries (Can you tell I was asking Americans?)
  • Pastas, bread sticks, soup and pie
  • Chocolate with whipped cream and/or vanilla ice cream covered in strawberries
  • Pot roast, pan-seared veggies, NY style cheesecake
  • Chinese buffet

Why In the World?

Being of curious nature, I simply could not leave this question to stand alone once I got the answers. You guessed it! Like a four-year-old, I asked, “Why?”

Because I like it.

The mixed-up, indigestion-causing Americans all told me the same thing: Favorite foods. The comfort of having something we really enjoy makes stomaching the tough times (understatement, another talent) easier.

DinnerFill me up.

This answer struck me as odd. So, I asked a second time, “Why?” The second answer was no less strange, but explained much.

If my belly is full, I will want to take a nap. If I sleep, I do not have to face dying awake.”

Sweet Tooth

The reason behind this one was very simple: You end a meal with dessert. Why not end your life on a sweet note?

I have all day. 

For the roast and veggies inmate, the reason was logical and shifty: I want something that’ll take a long time to cook. Maybe, I can squeeze out a few more hours with my kin folk before I die.

You know what they say?

You are going to be hungry again in an hour. Irony was not lost on this one. “I am going to be dead. How will I know I am hungry?”

Your Turn

If you were on death row, what would you order for your last meal? Just as important…Why?

© Red Dwyer 2011
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23 Comments

  1. James Parsons

     /  December 3, 2011

    I would not have a last meal. Because I believe that I would be to upset or to nervous to eat. When I’m upset or nervous I cannot eat, food just has no taste to me. So what good is it to eat a great meal if you truly cannot enjoy it to the last bite. Good one Red!!

    Reply
    • Thank you. That is an answer no one else supplied. Interesting. Red.

      Reply
      • That’s what Troy Davis ordered as his last meal. Nothing. I took it he was too disgusted by a civilization executing people without even making sure they are truly guilty.

        The same week, Texas abolished the last meal request because lawmakers felt people about to be executed were too gluttonous.
        http://heyjay139.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/meanwhile-in-texas/

        Reply
        • I can only say that is the most absurd argument I have heard in a while. I have seen last meals. They are enjoyed with family and clergy. If the senator, in his righteous indignation, had bothered to look at the costs of investigation, trial, appeal and housing of a death row inmate, I am sure he could have found a viable place to cut the budget before he got to the last meal.

          Shakes head.

          Reply
  2. Simple really, all the things I would not normally eat due to diet restrictions, time or allergies.

    Oysters on the half shell (fresh) with a dash of Tabasco
    Franciscan 2008 Sauvignon Blanc

    6 oz Fillet cooked center blue and bacon wrapped to seal
    Pan fried purple baby potatoes with sea salt and garlic
    Seared Asparagus
    2005 Paradise Ridge “The Convict” Rockpile Zinfandel

    Caesar Salad (yes made from scratch with anchovies)
    Beckmen 2008 Grenache Rosé

    Chocolate Lava Cake paired with Vanilla Bean Ice Cream and Italian Cream
    2005 Dashe Late Harvest Zinfandel

    Finally to finish off my last meal:
    Large Coffee Black and Sweet with a double Drambuie on the side

    Now, I am ready to go

    Reply
  3. I think it would have to be something very nice that is for sure, but what? Well how about a nice big juicy steak with lashings of everything else that I can think of… Well as long as it is nicely cooked and served by a team of beautiful Assassins that will do anything that I say, all will be well…

    How do you mean what is the meal
    called? Well it is called… Freedom 🙂

    Those guards don’t stand a chance 🙂

    A little joke for you Red…

    At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: Is this pig? Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: Which end of the fork are you referring to?

    Okay Red I am out of here
    before you show me the door 🙂 lol

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
    • Oh, aren’t you a pip? And you are more than welcome to spread the wit…after all, it puts you in rather good company with many others commenting. Laughter is such good medicine. I prescribe copious amounts daily. Glad you came to fill the prescription. Red. xxx

      Reply
      • I think that I will add another script this evening but not sure which one yet? I think perhaps another nonsensical one seeing as we need all the laughter that we can gather, well I do hope that it will trigger a little joviality, or should I offer a ghoulish one instead? 🙂 lol

        Have a fine rest of evening Red 🙂

        Androgoth XXx

        Reply
        • I think we have batted around enough frivolity to make for scads of scripts. Yet, you know a ghoulish bent always makes for the twisted grin. Red. xxx

          Reply
  4. awarewriter

     /  December 3, 2011

    Hell with dinner. I want a huge piece of real cheesecake — the kind that would hurt your foot if you dropped it — a pot of fresh coffee and a bottle of single malt Irish Whiskey.

    John

    Reply
    • *Idly wonders if she should have named the Coffee Shoppe the Saloon.* And I am thinking a fine cognac. But Val’s Drambuie sounds delightful, too. So are we all just a bunch of stinking lushes? I know we are all coffee fiends. LOL! Red.

      Reply
  5. For me it would be chocolate covered strawberries, raspberries and heavy cream, sucre a creme (really sweet French Canadian Fudge), a great cup of coffee and more strawberries. I am all about the sweet ending. I will be on a sugar high when they turn out my light.

    Isabelle

    Reply
  6. Angela Young

     /  December 3, 2011

    Why not have the meal AND the dessert? I would want my Mom’s

    Fried Chicken
    Mashed Potatoes
    Peas
    Chocolate Pudding

    Sounds mundane, but no one made them like my momma and I miss her and the food she cooked! But, since no one can make it like her, they couldn’t get it, so they couldn’t kill me. Right? ;p

    Reply
    • I like the way you think, Angie! And there is nothing like the food you remember from your childhood! Good to see your smiling face tonight! Red.

      Reply
  7. bear

     /  December 4, 2011

    chocolate cake and beans chocolate for me and beans for one last gas!

    Reply
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