Some of us do not have the ability to tell our mothers what we think or want them to know. Others of us have, but have not taken the chance. These are the things I had to tell my mother when I had the chance.
She is sharp as a tack, but somehow I don’t think she would understand a word of what I would say to her. We went our own ways, and mine is so far from hers. I need to tell her all I have learned.
Momma could answer every question I had, even when the answer was I’ll have to find out for you. It would be decades before I knew how much of her patience it expended and the time commitment that entailed.
Momma could soothe away tears, even when I thought she caused them. I would need my own teenagers to find out how difficult a child’s tears could be for a mother to see.
Momma was forgiving of things I did and said. For the things she should not have forgiven, she was fair, even if I thought the punishment was too severe. Punishing my own children for the things they do let me know discipline is something you must give to your children even if you want to laugh at what they have done.
Momma was strong, especially when I really wanted her to give in to my want-du-jour. In retrospect, I wonder why I thought I wanted those things in the first place. On the other hand, she knew the value of a good gift. After many instances of getting precisely what I asked for, I have learned to ask for far better.
Momma could sit for hours stroking my hair as I lay ill in the bed. I now know it hurt her to see me in pain of any variety.
Momma laughed with me many times, although about half of those times I believed she was laughing at me. Watching my own little ones, I feel the mirth she could not contain.
Momma knew what was best, even though I knew she had no idea how the world worked. She has gotten so worldly as I have aged.
Momma said thank you, even for the live toads and snakes or yarn and noodle necklaces we presented to her as presents. Handmade gems fill my treasure chest, and for them I am truly grateful.
Momma loved me, even when I didn’t love myself. I wish I had never had to return the favor or felt the pain of loving someone who did not love themselves.
I miss Momma, even if she is but at the end of a telephone line. Independence has its price, even if you find out too late how dear.
Maybe, just maybe, I understand why Momma always said she wanted a commune in the mountains where we could all live together under the shelter of the trees. As a child, I could not appreciate how precious the closeness was. I long to have it again.
I am thankful, too. Momma is still here. I can still place her Mother’s Day flowers in her hand. She raised me to be grateful.
~~~~~~~~~
If you have the chance, tell your mother those things you have learned from her and the things you would like for her to know. If you cannot, have a moment of silence to remember them.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers of M3.
Red.
Androgoth
/ May 13, 2012A Beautiful Posting Red…
Androgoth XXx
Red
/ May 13, 2012Thank you, Andro. Enjoy the rest of your morning. Have an extra cuppa for me, as I am certain I am returning to bed. 😉
Friggin Loon
/ May 13, 2012Happy Mother’s Day Red 🙂
Friggin Loon recently posted..Happy Mother’s Day
Red
/ May 13, 2012Thank you, sweet Loon. Happy Mother’s Day to you, as well (a month late…I know yours was last month). xxx
Friggin Loon
/ May 13, 2012No, ours is the same day. ChrysantheMUMS are the standard gift Down Under. 🙂 Sinus begone
Friggin Loon recently posted..Warning To Slow Moving Cyclists
Red
/ May 13, 2012See, I thought you celebrated it the same time as the Brits and Canadians. Ah well. Should really check the calendar. Mums…*shudder* Very glad to announce my present was designed of construction paper. *Grins*
Binky
/ May 14, 2012The Canadians celebrate the same Mother’s Day as you do!
Binky recently posted..Full Brain
Red
/ May 14, 2012Apparently, Fraz and I are suffering the same malady…
Angela Young
/ May 13, 2012Beautiful tribute to Mom 🙂
Angela Young recently posted..Um, “Happy” Mother’s Day–Part II
Red
/ May 13, 2012Thank you, Angie. I hope you had a terrific Mother’s Day.
Soma Mukherjee
/ May 14, 2012Beautiful post Red…those photos are so lovely specially the four generations…what a blessing it is to experience it…
Beautiful tibute 🙂
Soma Mukherjee recently posted..Ma-माँ
Red
/ May 14, 2012Thank you, Soma. I have been blessed by a large family all of my life. I have photographs of both four and five generations. One of my most prized possessions is a portrait of my great-grandmother, my grandmother, my mother, myself and my daughter (the one in this picture). Only my mother was not the eldest of her generation…the other four of us are the matriarchs of our generations.
You can imagine all of our surprise when my daughter had a son first. Quite a family anomaly. My grandson is the first patriarch in more than 100 years and 8 generations.
Bearman
/ May 14, 2012Every Sunday it is lunch at my inlaws and dinner with my mom. So grateful to be able to do that.
Bearman recently posted..Attachment Parenting Editorial Cartoon
Red
/ May 14, 2012When I move back home, it will be that way again. I miss being able to have lunch with Momma and Poppa every week.
Linnea Larsen
/ May 14, 2012Beautiful story, beautiful last picture depicting a woman who has a lot of love to give.
It is nice when our children grow up and realize that everything you have done, you have done out of a love that cannot be compared in the human experience. Thank you for this post. You have brought tears to my eyes. Not quite 21, my daughter has been expressing her gratitude to me for about 2 years now. She made my Mother’s Day very special.
It is a good thing that you do here, giving honor to your mom.
Linnea Larsen recently posted..Another Time
Red
/ May 14, 2012I make a point to tell her pretty regularly. My older ones started telling me before they were in their twenties. It is always a good thing. Here’s hoping the younger sets follow suit. Stop by the Green Room (link on the top menu bar) and leave a link to your blog so the M3 Readers can find you, Linnea.
spilledinkguy
/ May 14, 2012I hope your mother has a chance to read this piece, Red… she sounds like a wonderful woman, and suspect she would really appreciate all the thought and effort you’ve put into it.
AND I hope that you had a wonderful Mother’s Day as well, of course!
🙂
spilledinkguy recently posted..A First Draft
Red
/ May 14, 2012I did have a good one. I got a nap. By far, it is the best present ever. Momma has had a chance to read this. She is just shy in the comment box. 😉
Deb
/ May 14, 2012I really enjoyed your Mother’s Day post, Red. And thank you for sharing the family photos too…that made it even better. I can tell you really love and respect your mother. And am glad you still have the chance to let her know how you feel about her…I’m sure it means a lot to her.
Happy Mother’s Day, Red, and to you and your mother.
Love and Hugs XXx
Deb recently posted..Stormy Sunset
Red
/ May 14, 2012Thank you, Deb. I hope you have time to cruise through all the Mother’s Day posts. You can see all of my children, finally. {HUGZ} xxx
Deb
/ May 15, 2012I’ve been browsing through your Mother’s Day posts this morning over coffee. I’ve really enjoyed them all. Loved the photo of your children…they’re beautiful, Red!
Hugs xx
Deb recently posted..Stormy Sunset
Red
/ May 15, 2012Oh, thank you, Deb. I am glad you got to see them all. I love them all. They are each so very special. <3 {HUGZ} Red. xxx
Binky
/ May 14, 2012Happy belated Mother’s Day! That was a very nice post.
Binky recently posted..Full Brain
Red
/ May 14, 2012Thank you, Binky 😉
Derek Mansker
/ May 14, 2012Great reminder for Mother’s Day. I hope you had a good one yourself.
Derek Mansker recently posted..As you can see, it was a good day.
Red
/ May 14, 2012I very much did. You would be amazed how fabbo a present a nap really is!
Derek Mansker
/ May 14, 2012Oh, yes, I love naps. I haven’t had one in a long time. They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and I am quite fond of them.
Derek Mansker recently posted..As you can see, it was a good day.