In the wake of my post last night about the blogging roller coaster ride, I have received a ton of email (shocking, right?). This batch, however, is not fodder for Friday Follies. It all contains the real camaraderie which bloggers develop for the writers behind the blogs they stalk and haunt.
Me stay. You go.
1. I am not going anywhere.
Let me be more specific. I am not going to…
- Hell. (At least not until after I am dead.)
- STFU. (Dear Hatemailer, read somewhere else.)
- Stop pretending I know everything. (Cannot stop something I am not doing.)
- Stop blogging. (Why should I?)
2. I am going somewhere.
On vacation. I need one. I have some things scheduled to post, but I will be lurking elsewhere at post time. Hoping for a poolside with a good waitress.
3. You will see a skip in the movie.
Two of the emails to which I have referred will appear in my weekly feature of Friday Follies. They are truly the things which make a blogger scratch the noggin and wonder how people so blatantly stupid know how to read and navigate the web while intelligent people have a hard time booting up and using more than one tab.
Flashback
I am not going to link back to the post. Instead, I am going to be megalomaniacal in quoting myself:
If patience is a virtue,…
…that makes me evil.”
Just another example of I am not perfect, nor claim to be. For those My-God/Allah-makes-me-holier-than-thou inspirational bloggers and hatemailers, I am glad you are shepherding your flock. (Although, I do wish the fleas of 1,000 camels to the crotch of the ones who referred you to M3.) To the M3 Readers, I am glad you are not looking to me to save your (life, soul, existence).
1 from Column A, 2 from Column B
Say NO to buffet.
Instead, I prefer to make you:
- think about the things you have often accepted without thinking in the first place (much less twice)
- laugh at the absurdity in everyday life
- connect to the power within
- step away from the morass of everyday existence to appreciate the good all around you
- appreciate what a funny visual a tongue in a cheek truly is
- answer questions which never occurred to you…even after the post was finished
Like it or not, I have an uncanny ability to ask the most bizarre questions. For some, it is a gift of great import. For others, it is more like a boil…on the tush…just under the panty line. (Oh, for cripes’ sake. Why does WordPress not know how to spell “panty”? Squirrel!)
Business as Usual
You all have the inner strength to accomplish peace in your life, which is evidenced by your ability to bring peace to mine. In that peace, I am happy to chagrin my naysayers announce M3 will return to its regularly scheduled programming this evening at the 2000 post. While I still have not decided the subject of said post, it will be something far more edifying than the 2000 post last evening and this all about me post.
You knew there would be a question.
Yeah, you did not think I would let you get off that easy on consecutive days. Did you? Right! So, I want you to tell me something.
If you could only tell me one joke, which one would it be?
Psst. There is no maturity rating/warning on this blog. If it is truly terrible, give this post five stars and hit the inbox.
life is a bowl of kibble
/ January 5, 2012Have fun on your vaca.
Red
/ January 5, 2012Thank you! I know I will. Not often I get to go this way…with no planned spots, no obligations, nothing but fun on the menu…or nothing if I choose it 🙂
Elyse
/ January 5, 2012You go girl, but come back. Not so much the nasty commenters.
Red
/ January 5, 2012I will. Promise 🙂
mommysaidaswearword
/ January 5, 2012hate mailers gonna hate. 😉 great bloggers gonna blog. (keep doing it. it pisses them off).
Red
/ January 5, 2012I hear that! Good to see you today! Red.
Rachael Black
/ January 5, 2012Hate mail is the best! Had a site (which I’m currently re-building) which received so much hate/ignorant/rambling unintelligible mail that I created a page just to showcase said loonies; And my,er, tongue in cheek answers.
Gotta look at the entertainment value!
You deserve a vacation Red. Sit in the sun, sip those cocktails ,crank up the iPod and listen to My Own Personal Jesus!
Here’s my favorite joke. Have no idea why it still pops out of my mouth.
‘So, a baby seal walks into a club…’
Red
/ January 5, 2012LOL! I love it, my twisted sister! *idly wonders where to find crazy straw for tequila press* I am only dedicating one post a week to the loonies. Other than that, I am hoping I have more important things to say. 😉
Alexandra Heep
/ January 5, 2012Jokes? I may have to ask my daughter for one, but am afraid I would have to rate you 5 stars and hit the inbox with it. 😉
Enjoy the vaca.
Red
/ January 5, 2012Looking forward to it! The vaca and the joke 😉
Marc Phillippe Babineau
/ January 5, 2012Okay, my joke…
Little Billy heard a noise late one night coming from the bathroom. He got out of bed and crept silently to the bathroom door, where he heard his mom moaning and groaning, saying “Oh, God, I need a man”, He goes back to bed, confused.
The next nite, little Billy heard more noise, a little louder. He got out of bed and silently crept to the bathroom door, It was slightly open, and he saw his mom in front of the mirror, hand under her dress, saying “Oh God, I need a man”. He goes back to bed, a little more confused.
The next nite, there was a lot more noise coming from the bathroom. Little Billy got out of bed and silently crept to the bathroom door, slightly ajar again. He saw his mom, on the floor, completely naked, with a man on top of her, having wild, animal sex.
Little Billy ran back to his bedroom, jumped into bed, threw his clothes off and started masturbating, yelling “Oh God, I need a bike”
Marc
Red
/ January 5, 2012O.M.G. ROFL! You ain’t right, Marc!
Boy Mom Blogger
/ January 5, 2012I don’t have a joke (although I posted a funny movie clip on my blog that cracks me up) but have a great VACATION!!! woo hoo!!!
Red
/ January 5, 2012Thank you, sweets! Should have left a link!! I will go find it and come back…HAHAHAHAHA! Too much! Glad you stopped by for that! Check out the vid!
christyb
/ January 5, 2012Enjoy your vacation! Give me a smile from the poolside 🙂
christyb
Red
/ January 5, 2012That, I am certain I can do!
Angela Young
/ January 5, 2012Have a great vacation. Can’t wait for my own hate mail lol.
Red
/ January 5, 2012Thank you! I am so looking forward to it. And I will not be upset if I come home with no pix outside the hotel. 😉
awarewriter
/ January 5, 2012An epitaph from an actual tombstone (courtesy of humormatters.com)
Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903–Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
John
PS — I found this in the May 16, 2009 issue of “Whispering Thunder of the Dragon.” I kept all the issues (and Stews Brews) as consolidated pdf files. Why? Why not? LOL
Red
/ January 5, 2012ROFL! Those are some excellent memories! I have not thought about WT in ages. Those would make and excellent stroll down memory lane. Red.