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    Red Dwyer - Author

    Red Dwyer’s Killing us Softly is a monumental book of heartfelt and practical advice for getting through and surviving the onslaught of cancer and death of a spouse.
    With the use of real time journal entries and blog posts, the author reaches out to readers in a unique way to guide them through all the emotions, responsibilities, and processes of being the caretaker of a marriage partner.
    Self-care and the care of the children are her primary focus, as she becomes the sole head of household and cup of love for her dying spouse and surviving family of nine children, three of whom are autistic.
    The book is supremely well-balanced in a way that has never been offered to the public before. The journal entries and blog posts draw us into her intimate life as she grieves privately yet exhibits her strength throughout and beyond the dying process. The focus is on helping the reader maneuver through the seemingly herculean feats of love and physical care which are assigned to the surviving spouse once the diagnosis of cancer is definite.
    From discussion on diagnosis and decisions to be made, through treatment and endgame, Red Dwyer holds our hand and shares with us her advice for not only surviving but also claiming our lives as we traverse this difficult and often hidden journey. She discusses the role of spirituality in the lives of the caretaking spouses, and the details of cancer treatment as a partner in the comfort of her loved one.
    Almost all of us are faced with treatment options at end of life, and many of us don’t face them until we are feeble and sick and not entirely in a place to make those decisions. While cancer has specific decisions to be made, Dwyer discusses the choices we all make when faced with extended treatment of a terminal illness or allowing nature to take its course.
    From diagnosis to hospice care, endgame and beyond, this author will be ultimately helpful to millions, who before this point have persevered and survived in silence.

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    So, I have a question... What made you? I bet your answer will be longer than you expect. mommasmoneymatters.com/what-made-you/ ... See MoreSee Less

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    • I have more than 5,000 contacts. I have more than 5,000 contacts. Jailbird Follies | Momma's Money Matters commented on Momma's Money Matters: [...] Muse for Monday [...] September 28, 2012 14:03
  • Helping Keep the Power On

  • And Now For Something Completely Different.

Muse for Monday

When was the last time you pulled an all-niter? Is it something you do regularly? Are the lines between day and night eternally blurred by the light of the lamp and the screen?

Mantra seems to think it is not necessarily the obligations, worry and distractions we create and entertain which are the issue. Since she has no true concept of time, I often wonder if she thinks we humans are a sub-par life form, with our incessant need for repose.

Up All Night

Cup of ink starts the morning.
Is it really a new day?
From the light of yesterday
To this dawn, the lamp stayed lit.

Sleep is not elusive. It is stubborn,
Flatly refusing sweet invitations
To star in much needed relaxation,
Instead leaving behind these bloodshot stares.

The tiles in the ceiling are sure
They are being replaced too soon,
Counted four dozen times by noon,
Since they are slower than fat sheep.

One hundred pages of doodles,
Despicable attempt at art,
Not evocative to the heart,
But terse and surly, ugly lines.

The nap of the rug’s worn shiny.
Three hundred forty six paces.
Swearing the footprints make faces,
Their mouths in yawning mockery.

The pillow has been fluffed again,
Honestly, “punched” more accurate.
Limp: Flattened out because of it.
Insomnia: Danger to all.



Do you have days where you wonder what day it is because you have been up for more than two? What do you do to fall asleep? Have you ever threatened ceiling tiles or beaten a pillow into submission?

What is the longest period you have stayed awake? And why did you?

(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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  1. When I was young, I was a night owl. I have no idea what happened once I started a family (tee hee). Let’s see: I was working raising a kid, doing everything myself, making my ex look good (till I didn’t). No wonder I was tired.
    Now I’m retired, and I LOVE my sleep. I don’t know what the heck that means.

    “Up All Night” is vivid. I hear the pacing, see the doodling, counting the ceiling tiles and PUNCHing the pillow.
    Tess Kann recently posted..Flash in the Pan – LighteningMy Profile

    • I told Angie, I think we all stay awake from birth to around kindergarten…I think it returns, too, when they hit teenagerdom. I think at some point each one of us has tried one of these techniques. ;) I may not be a pillow puncher, but I am definitely a pillow smotherer.

  2. I used to be able to do it, but I need my sleep now. I don’t think I’ve ever really had insomnia, at least that lasted that long. I have certainly been sleep deprived many times however. For years at a time when the kids were young lol. Saturday nights are always bad for me because I have to get up and teach on Sunday–can’t get the brain to shut up! Fortunately, I usually get a Sunday afternoon nap ;).
    Angela Young recently posted..Loving perfectlyMy Profile

    • I think we were all awake from about birth to kindergarten. My hardest time is the days which end in “y”. I never sleep any more. And when I do, it is the sleep of the dead. ;)

  1. Jailbird Follies | Momma's Money Matters

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