Muse for Monday

Some people never understand. Mantra sees their confusion. She feels the pain. She knows the blindness is the cause of the confusion.

Mantra coldLoneliness is a painful process. Time may be filled with people; however, when those people are not satisfying the core needs, they are nothing but inert filler.

We need catalysts in our lives to strum the heartstrings. They touch us on a level where our souls make music. If we have filler in our lives, the notes are flat and not fulfilling. We need the symphonic sound created only by being in the presence of those we love who love us in return.

Once in a while, we encounter the one we love who does not need the notes we play. It does not stop us from loving this one. Nothing we do makes them need what we have. For us, this one is a catalyst. For this one, we are inert filler.

How we cope is a matter of choice. Sometimes, just sometimes, we make a choice our need cannot be filled by anyone else. The blindness to the possibility there are more people who can play the notes can be deadly.

In Stillness Lay tells the story of a man who could not believe anyone else could play the notes to harmonize his heart’s song.

In Stillness Lay

He sauntered up the walk with a drink in his hand.
His swagger was a bit subdued at two a.m.
The van had pulled out of the driveway, and
he looked furtively at his watch amidst small talk.

The neighbors saw the endless parade
of sports buddies and friends from work,
but what shattered the charade
was one who stood out from all the rest.

When the guys would leave for the night,
he would dash inside, the house all dark,
save for the front porch light.
Until the car parked in the drive.

The light went dark, so one had to strain
to see the flash of blonde streak up the walk.
Nosy neighbors’ children knew the refrain
of the old man music he played that late.

Their curfews broken kept his secret until
the siren shredded the cricket’s song.
At last his restless spirit was still.
She’d come to him for the last time.

Worried over his broken heart,
she called before the dawn.
Endless ringing gave her a start,
and she called for help.

The bottle was still in his hand,
but the recoil was just too much.
The gun lay on the nightstand
beside the picture of them.

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Have you seen the difference between inert filler and a catalyst? Do you know someone who has felt the despair of inertia? Have you known or been the one?

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18 Comments

  1. As a teenager I thought I needed a bunch of friends not to be lonely…now I know I just need a few good ones.
    Bearman recently posted..Wombie WookieeMy Profile

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    • I think we all eventually grow up enough to learn that. Some take until their friends are dying to figure it out.

      Reply
  2. We often fill our lives with a great deal of people and things that ultimately have no significant value at all.
    Binky recently posted..Happy Valley PicnicMy Profile

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  3. I see what you mean. Great illustration of it. As for loneliness, Lori and I have always been surrounded by those who become very close, as in quality friends. Not to say we don’t feel lonely at times in our nomadic ways, but, at the end of the day, we have each other.
    John Phillips recently posted..Interesting Covers – “I’m A Believer”My Profile

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  4. Whew.
    The quickest explanation that comes to mind is the one about being at a party and knowing all the people but feeling lonely and alone. Here the loneliness could not find the right ‘filling’ needed to feed the big hole yawning in his centre. 🙂
    Tess Kann recently posted..Hot Flash – ReachMy Profile

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  5. I have been loneliest when I was married to someone I couldn’t be emotionally intimate with. The thirty-four years of living alone after that was fulfilling as I chose those to be close with and let them fill my life. I also grew to understand my needs, which I hadn’t had a chance or solitude to do before.
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Prose – A Flawed LifeMy Profile

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    • I think there is a lot which goes along with not having the space to know ourselves before we are thrown in with “the one”. Discovery of ourselves is an amazing place. xxx

      Reply
  6. I had many friends, but felt completely alone.

    When they no longer had a use, or turned on me for money, then I was truly alone.

    Today I have my friends at church and a handful of old friends who still love me for who I am, but it isn’t the same knowing most of them repeatedly sold me out.

    Sometimes being alone is the better alternative.

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.
    Prenin recently posted..Monday – The electricians arrive…My Profile

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    • The realization must come those who sold you out were never friends to begin. That is the true lesson, Pren. xxx

      Reply
  7. I think it is better to be alone entirely. Easier perhaps than beating heart and mind against that object of desire that is unmoved by our entreaties, “love me for who I am, please”.

    We tear apart our affairs of the heart, trying hart to understand, why? The right answer, it is sometimes we have grown away, grown out or apart.

    Ah well, filler? Maybe.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Standing ByMy Profile

    Reply
    • You may be right. The filler is often pulled to its fibres in search of its true filling. Having been alone entirely, I appreciate the veracity of it. xxx

      Reply
  8. Reduce portfilio – divesting myself of filler leaving only quality stuffing

    Reply
  9. Sometimes a life is lived within a bubble, everything is clear and yet grey areas still manage to press home an impression. The reality is that one can only live a life the best way that one can.

    Loneliness waits for those that allow it to happen, and for those that dare to reach out there is always a positive way forward.

    Have a very nice rest of weekend Red 🙂

    Andro xxxx

    Reply

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