I have been mugged.

Yep, mugged.

Some of you read all about it on Facebook. Others of you got the news on Google Plus. I have decided to wait to pass the information to Twitter or Linked In until I tell my faithful M3 Readers. I have been mugged.

It is just one of those things you do not expect on a blustery Saturday afternoon. There you are, minding your own business and WHAM! Mugged. Then, there’s report this. Paperwork that. What a nightmare. At least, I am pretty sure it will not leave any permanent marks. Scars happen to suck.

So, I shake it off and grab some dinner with the shortest people in the house. Toss them in the tub to drown them bathe them, and then have a 12-minute wrestling match to get them into pajamas. Everyone got two turns on the trampoline (It makes them sleep better.), and I issued the edict: Time for bed.

After the fourth threat of duct tape, a yard stick and the staple gun, they got into the bed. I made the switch from coffee to Merlot and sat down to see what the M3 Readers and my social media addicts had been doing.

You’ve Got Mail

As the Saturday Evening Post went live, I got the news. You know, that irritating red notification square on your Google screen. One was the number in the box. Hades’ fire! I had just been there not four minutes ago for cripes’ sake.

It was certainly not where I was expecting to get a return on my reporting and paperwork filling out adventure. But at least it was a notification telling me there was a composite sketch of the mugger. I need your help with this one. Have you seen this man?

Bearman...no relation.

Bearman…no relation.

This man is the maniacal caricature artist, savvy political satirist and the head loony for Bearman Cartoons. He is the one who does caricatures of the famous and infamous. And guess who he mugged? Yes, he mugged me.

He got Red.

He got Red.

I have been added to the Bearman collection with such other notable characters as Pamela Anderson, Barack Obama, Ron Jeremy, Ashton Kutcher, Sarah Palin, Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen. Somehow, I feel like a butterfly with a pin through my thorax. Makes me wonder what kind of wine to serve with me under glass.

All I can tell you is you best watch which neighborhoods you haunt and which circles you hang out in on Google Plus. There are Bearman in them thar woods…and he’s a professional mugger.

Β© Red Dwyer 2012
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  1. My first time here (a friend recommended that I read your blog) and I seriously thought you had actually been mugged….but then again, with 10 kids (are you nuts??) you must FEEL like you’ve been assaulted by the time you go to bed at night. It’s my pleasure to include you in my list of “crazy bloggers I follow” πŸ™‚

    • I am so very glad you made it. Well, ten is not where I stop. Bear is bringing his five to the marriage, so that will be 15. Stop by and drop a link to your blog in the Green Room. We like to share in the craziness πŸ˜‰ Red.

  2. OMG, Bearman mugged you? I thought all he did was sh** in the woods.

  3. For a moment there I thought that our little Red Riding Hood had been mugged by the Wolf of Wickedness but close… Yes, Bearman has done a wonderful job with this fine example of his naughtiness, and how famous are you now Red? πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

    Actually he has captured you
    extremely wickedly me thinks? πŸ™‚

    Androgoth XXx

    • He did a fine job. I told him this morning, my 7yo came in and said, “Look, Momma, it is you on the big forehead.” She knew immediately. Little minx. Red.

  4. Do you ever stop? How do you keep so chipper? Lucky you.

    • Good to see you, Tess. Actually, I am starting to take some weekend time off. I absolutely have to devote some more time to the children and to my books…I need to stinking publish something! As to your second question, family: I love them, and they make me insanely happy.

  5. I knew you were special…but this just proves it! What a riot! Sorry I didn’t read it earlier…I’ve been on a crunch deadline with a super tough assignment…Thank God, it’s done!

    • Thanks, Sus! Glad you got that one done. Hope you pop over to the next one. I could use a woman’s perspective. I like making you giggle πŸ˜‰ Red.

  6. You absolutely pulled me in. I was aghast, then to find out you were drawn not held at knife-point (like you were in my blog). What a prankster you are.
    The only error in the portrait, is …he didn’t get your big heart in the drawing. It’s still a tribute though.

  7. Red and Green (hair)…
    what a pair!

  8. bear

     /  February 21, 2012

    Good mugging ! Mad Dog 2020? Not on my watch, but a nice Thunderbird and ripple mix. I call it Thripple and know you know how Red stays so happy. Don’t tell her…she thinks its Merlot.. And finally night train more like train wreck ’cause that’s how you feel in the morning.

    • Sounds a lot like personal experience, Bear πŸ˜‰ In a move I never thought I would make, I am going to Google ripple. As a connoisseur of many liqueurs, I have never even seen ripple offered…except at Fred Sanford’s house. At least I have heard of Thunderbird, but methinks cripple would be in your future…

  9. 1. I’m glad to find a fellow mother using the same threats that I do.
    2. The cartoons are absolutely fab!

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