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Saturday Evening Post

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Extra Large Coffee CupWe escaped the torrential rains, but they are coming. You can smell them on the breeze. The flowers are ready. Clyde is itching like he had a fresh case of fleas. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. It has been an interesting week. Let’s talk.

Guest Posts

Many thanks to both those who submitted guest posts for my vacation and for the M3 Readers for your fantastic interaction with those who posted. There are a number of guest posts coming over the next week as I wrap up some loose ends and attempt to find a full day where I can take off.

If you would like to guest post on M3, drop me a line through Ask Momma.

What vaca?

BlackBerry Storm 2

Told you mine had better wallpaper.

Despite my best laid plans, my vaca was non-existent. Aside from a six-hour span of non-plugged-in time, I was on call for M3 and RP. It was not all bad. A number of authors have taken to the water at full speed. If you have not been by the book store to browse for something wonderful to read, consider this your invitation.

Coaching

Another part of my life which did not abide my vacation was my coaching business. While it is not something I advertise, I am a life and business coach. The new year is always busy as people realize they need help with resolutions or goals or even goal-setting.

I am very pleased to have squared away two clients for the quarter who are steaming ahead with good plans for accomplishing all they desire. We managed to do it without wearing out the battery on my CrackBerry.

Right Turn, Clyde!

Patience is not an orangutan virtue. To be frank, in this instance, I am with Clyde. What has his dander up? Authenticity.

The ape does not have a problem with knock-off furniture, shoes (even if I might with shoes) or handbags. People who are inauthentic are a completely different story.

Authenticity is something we often take for granted. We trust. We feel like our friends are going to be authentic in their approach to us on personal, corporate and social levels. We have been encompassed in the WYSIWYG mentality.

For example?

Mantra WritesLet’s use me an an example of being inauthentic. What do you know about me? Chances are good, even if you are a new M3 Reader, you can name a top five of what you think I am. If you know me really well, you can rattle off a top ten in a matter of moments.

When we compare the top ten you have and my top ten, a bookie would lay 2-to-1 odds they would differ. Why? You have each been exposed to different layers of who I am. For instance…

How many would say I am a mother? Given the URL of the blog and all the pictures of my children lying about, most of you. How many would say I am a grandmother? Hmm. A lot of hands went down. Why?

How many of you would say I am a writer? Yes, I thought so. How many would say I am an author? We will forgive you while you look at the Red Books page. How many of you would say I am an artist? Wow, really? I may not showcase my artwork on this blog, but it did not stop me from using my own illustrations in MFM or creating such gems as this:

Glass Cross

or this:

Crochet Edging

 

or even this:

Feather Pencil Drawing

Creation is usually an art form of one variety or another.

How many of you knew about my other business (besides RP)? Clients do not count, so put your hand down, please.

So, how many of you knew I was a man?

Cricket Chirping

I better only hear crickets chirping.

Contrast Illusions

Rippling Female SymbolFailing to know all the layers of a person is not the equivalent to being inauthentic. So, why the drawn out example? Simple. Not one of us can be defined in single terms.

You could poll those who do business with me, and they will attest to the presence of my rather large testicles. That does not change the exclusive presence of female genitalia.

Each and every one of you has seen at least one of my pairs of shoes (see above on my tele), yet it does not mean I do not have boots to muck in the garden or the barn. They do not change my femininity.

I can hold my breath for nearly four minutes because I have 3.1 litre lungs. Yes, my lungs are the size of a 6’1″ man. My bra is not holding my lungs, however.

Just because moments of my day are spent doing things which may belie your initial impression of me does not mean I am inauthentic. They merely exhibit the scope of my abilities, reveal a portion to which you had otherwise not been exposed and prove stereotyping is the modus operandum of stupid and lazy people.

Enter Ape

Right turn, Clyde.

Right turn, Clyde.

If none of the contrasts above are inauthentic, what is being inauthentic? In a word: Lying.

We, with our higher intellect, have the capacity and propensity to exaggerate or downplay our own attributes and characteristics in order to garner endorsement from our peer groups. (The link is well worth the read.)

Occasionally, we can be absolutely inauthentic and outright manufacture attributes which would make us more attractive to (employers, peers, Mate). Oh, yes, we can.

  • I worked at Lockheed-Martin. (on a job application)
  • I sky dove. (to a group of adventure buffs)
  • I do not snore. (Mate is going to find this out, guaranteed.)

In fact, you snored on the plane while you were accompanying your BFF, who did skydive, but you only did it because the motion sickness medicine interacted with the litre of Scotch you drank to overcome your fear of flying in a plane manufactured by Lockheed-Martin. We completely understand how these minor inconsistencies slipped out.

Flip

Buffalo Nickel

No cents.

The other side of that coin is equally as tarnished. Failing to admit attributes is equally inauthentic. Never done it? Hmm.

Prejudice.

What an ugly word, but it is a way of life. We look down upon or warily at others who we feel are inferior, a danger or unequal. We actively distance ourselves from these individuals, yet find ourselves elbow-to-elbow with them often. When we do, rather than tarnish the brilliantly polished benevolent impression others have of us, we don a plastic smile, shake hands and are cordial… until we can get to the restroom to wash our hands, spit out the taste of bile in our mouths and curse like a sailor for having to abide such people.

The obvious offenders are racists. The prevalent and more prolific offenders are common folk, like your friends and mine. They are cordial and polite and may even help on occasion. It comes at a price. Our reputations are sacrificed on their private altars of self-righteous superiority. In their private rendition of us, our parents were never married, we do not have access to indoor plumbing and we do not own eating utensils. Further, life would be better on a planetary scale if we did not exist. Why? Simply because we fail to live up to their arbitrary standard of what is authentic.

Being inauthentic is not always about how we portray ourselves to others. More often, it is the hiding of our intolerance of those who truly are WYSIWYG.

It is enough to make an ape wonder.

Until next time,

Red Signature

If you had to give me a top five, what am I authentically? What is your top five? Have you ever been close to someone who was inauthentic? (No names) Are you an example of contrast illusions?

#Hashtags: #psychology #authenticity #denial


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32 Comments

  1. Top five what you are authenitically?
    1. Friend
    2. Perfectionist (OCD)
    3. Superior Intellilect
    4. Awesome Shoe collection
    5. Intolerant of stupidity and B.S.

    My top five? Depends on who you ask, I am WYSIWYG, I’ll be just as nice to you as you are to me, or just as vengeful as a (searches for general audience friendly word, gives up and moves to next throught)

    I try to avoid being close to the inauthenitic, it’s easier when they’re transparent in it though.
    Laurie recently posted..WIP excerptMy Profile

    Reply
    • I like your #1 for me. It is definitely in my top ten. *giggles* Shoes should be. πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  2. RED — super post
    key words here
    KINDNESS
    MULTITALENTED
    NON VIOLENCE
    UNIQUE IN HEART
    BENEVOLENT

    THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY XXXXXXXXX
    X C
    Cat Forsley recently posted..Just silly fun xx – Cat Forsley –My Profile

    Reply
    • I love those <3 You are so Mon Chat Doux! I love your new picture, pretty lady! Muah! xxx

      Reply
      • Pretty on the INSIDE >>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< MOST IMPORTANT XXXXX
        it's JUST EYELINER πŸ™‚ lol XO
        but thank You xxxx

        Good Morning RED=
        INNER STRENGTH
        WILL
        COURAGE
        SELF SUFFICIENT
        COLLABORATIVE
        HEART WISE

        HAVE A GORGEOUS DAY XOXOXOXOXOXO
        XC
        Cat Forsley recently posted..Just silly fun xx – Cat Forsley –My Profile

        Reply
        • LOL! You know tooting well I was not talking about makeup πŸ˜› Silly Cat! Have a beautiful day, my sweet Cat. <3 xxx

          Reply
  3. Perhaps it’s the time of year that draws us to the saying: The unexamined life is not worth living.

    I find I’m constantly kicking the questions you asked around. But for me, it comes down to….trying to accept where I am, knowing tomorrow I’ll change whether I want to or not.
    Great thought provoking questons, Red.
    Barb recently posted..Change: The Race Car of Marketing TechniquesMy Profile

    Reply
    • I have gotten to worrying less about where I am except in relation to where I am headed. It has been good for me because it means I am not paying nearly as much attention to where I have been. So, glad to see you tonight. xxx

      Reply
  4. You’re the best looking man I know!

    And thanks for the ad, Red. It looks very nice on here, if I do say so myself!
    Binky recently posted..The World According To FrazMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Red, I would suggest you have the following attributes:
    An accomplished multi-tasker
    A thinker, a genius if not beyond,
    Kindness to a fault
    Ethical
    A teacher at heart.
    raymond alexander kukkee recently posted..Hockey: Don’t Cry, Boys….My Profile

    Reply
    • Thank you. Teacher is definitely on my list, but it is further down from integrity (which for me includes ethics) πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  6. I knew without a doubt you were not a man.

    Mom.
    Artist.
    Hard worker.
    Genius (I use this as a technical term, I believe you are genius. Yes?)
    Live-r (not the organ, the doer of life).

    Your post has me contemplating my own authentic-ness.

    Interesting that tonight, as I struggle at feeling indignant about an interaction….is it based in some of my own “self righteous superiority”.
    C. Brown recently posted..Gratitudes And UrinalsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Yes, I qualify as genius-level IQ. I am definitely a live-r. I love that term! I think when we take a few minutes, we can resolve a lot of the indignation by taking off our shoes. xxx

      Reply
  7. Red I take my imagined hat off to you again. I tuned in via phone on a sleepless worknight tweedling my thumbs
    Your Saturday post going down a treat πŸ™‚ as I admire your many tallents.
    You amaze me each time I read more about you. And I know I’ve been a man at least twice lol but I think this time around a DreamwalkeR will have to do. πŸ™‚
    You take care Red. You are one special lady xx Sue
    Sue Dreamwalker recently posted..Getting in Tune with Your SelfMy Profile

    Reply
    • Back through the ages, I know I had to have been at a place or two. I am glad to have tickled your brain and hopefully bored you enough to get some sleep, sweet lady. <3 xxx So very glad to see you tonight...less the insomnia. <3

      Reply
  8. You’re top five?
    -Ass kicker
    -Motivator
    -Friend
    -Author
    -Ass kicker?
    Mine? Depends on the day, and one of the least interesting topics to me. I’d rather be judged on how I act then think about how I am judged.

    And yes, I’ve definitely engaged in contrast illusion.
    El Guapo recently posted..Friday Foolishness – Free Time EditionMy Profile

    Reply
    • To be honest, I do not believe I have ever met anyone who was not an exercise in contrast illusion. Despite our claim to the contrary, we are a rather lazy species who believes the categorization of others is as adept as it is convenient. I like the duplication in your top five πŸ™‚

      Reply
  9. I think we each show authenticity at the level we are comfortable at times. There are things I withhold, things that remain private in many cases. It is an issue of trust. It is not that I am any different as a person, I am essentially always the same, only that there are layers and not every person gets to peel them all back. We learn from past mistakes.

    You, gad not even going to try for the list.

    You are a rose…..beautiful and thorny
    Valentine Logar recently posted..RevocationMy Profile

    Reply
    • I think that is an apt description of me. I believe the withholding of layers is not inauthencity at all. It is most often a matter of self-preservation. You are not failing to be who you are; you are merely leaving some things a mystery because, frankly, not everyone has earned the honor of a why for what you do. <3

      Reply
  10. Decent.

    Honest.

    Patient.

    Friendly.

    Won’t take any B.S!!! πŸ™‚

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.
    prenin recently posted..Saturday – My first book sells!My Profile

    Reply

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