Christmas is in the air most everywhere. It is not as chilly as it has been, but the wind is whipping. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. Clyde is contemplative about high cognitive function. Let’s talk.
Redmund Productions
The final tweaks are being made to the books and the new website. Everyone’s excitement is palpable. It has come such a long way in the last three days. Be on the lookout for a large post pointing the way to the site in the week between Christmas and New Year’s day.
M3
Please pardon my obvious absence this week. I have been coding in the ballpark of 15 hours a day and, therefore, have been neglecting M3 during the guest post week.
Many of you have noticed the new ad in the left sidebar. It is available to anyone who chooses to advertise based on the parameters set out in The Office. Click both the ad and the link below it. The ad opens in a fresh tab and the link in this one.
If you would like to guest post in January when I am on vacation, please let me know either in the comments or the SIB.
Right Turn, Clyde!
Gift giving this year has been different for me than it has been in years past. Yes, I spent as much as I usually do, but I also gave a lot of my time and myself this year. Some of the recipients received services for which I normally charge fees. Some of the gifts were a complete surprise, while others required the recipient’s participation to pull off the gift.
Right turn, Clyde.
Clyde has been perplexed by the entire affair. Not just the wrapping paper and the constant stream of messages but also the cavity checking.
I noticed something I had not seen in years since my older children got through teenagerdom: Ingratitude.
Now, given that children often cannot appreciate the work which goes into earning the money to buy their want-du-jour, I have often forgiven their failure to be appropriately grateful when gifts are not either the exact version or something beyond my control morphed what was the perfect version into something less than their dream gift.
Most often, it was a lack of the appropriately sized batteries as the culprit. It always became a lesson of being grateful for the giving, as opposed to being grateful for being a recipient. In all honesty, most children are only grateful for being a recipient. This is the same theory as being sorry one is caught rather than being sorry for the offense.
When it comes to adults, I grow horns, hooves and a tail. For all of my patience, I am thoroughly intolerant of adults who carry the childish version of gratitude. There are a load of reasons for it.
Cavities
Lucky Day by a nose, followed by Mighty Mate…
I was raised by a horse trader. If you are unfamiliar with that term, it is derogatory. It is a skill set which reached the late 20th century best personified by the used car salesman. A good horse trader can trade a broken down nag for a fresh thoroughbred with the other person convinced they got the better end of the deal.
The lessons I learned were the ones which keep me from paying too much for things and not getting sucked into the commercial excitement of gift-giving. They also taught me to look at the recipients with a bit of a fish eye when they are checking the gift horse for cavities.
Immaturity
By the time your identification states you are above the age of majority, I fully expect you to be gracious. I do not expect to see the inside of your lower lip because if you had chosen what I gave you, you would have gotten something different…specifically, you would have gotten one like I gave someone else or the ultra-supreme-mega model, which would have required me to work 10-15 hours, more than the 10-15 hours I already worked, to accomplish.
Social Retardation
If one person types one syllable about political correctness, I will personally, promptly remove it. If you are unaware of the definition of retardation, educate yourself before you fly off the handle at me about using a word you have been bullied into believing is derogatory.
Whether as a sidecar of virtual living or merely a lack of parenting, more and more adults I encounter in both the virtual world and the FAB world have no concept of what it means to be socially gracious. They all appear to live in the toddler world where there are magic words. Specifically, “thanks” is sufficient for negating all of the ones which precede and follow it, especially:
- Couldn’t you just…
- Why didn’t you…
- There is a better one…
Really? Perhaps, in the future, you should be responsible for your own gifts. Then, you would not possibly be disappointed by someone not exclusively servicing your wants while ignoring your obvious needs.
Ulterior Motive
Before I get the other slap for this post, I do not do things for others just to get their thanks. I do things for others because I genuinely appreciate them or feel they deserve to have something nice. Since I do not believe ITTTC, I make a concerted effort to give those things I know are beneficial to my recipient.
Not all of my gifts are about satisfying entertainment wants. My children will witness all games throughout their childhoods were educational at some level. Even movies spurred animated conversations during and after. I give in the “need” category far more often than the “want” category.
Some gifts are pragmatically functional. No, this is not the same as giving your Mate a vacuum. But if I give you a widget for a gift and you have no concept how it is appropriate, ask. Do not be ungrateful because I did not give you something on your wishlist, especially when I did not have your wishlist nor did you expect to receive anything from me in the first place.
Most often, I am rewarded by a complete surprise burst of gratitude when the gift I have chosen becomes the apparent solution to something away from the gift-giving setting. I get a lot of “Oh, wow! How did you know I was going to need this?”, usually around March through ever. It always makes me smile because by then, I have already forgotten about the gift.
Enter Ape
Animals are simple creatures. They give one another food. It serves the dual purpose of necessity and comfort. Gift-giving is a bonding experience.
Humans are animals who believe they are superior to the other species because they have higher cognitive function. Should humans take a page from the animal book, they would be grateful there was another who thought enough of them to give them something in the first place.
It is enough to make an ape wonder.
Until next time,
What is the simplest solution? Why do we believe the only gifts which are worthy of gratitude are the ones we choose for ourselves? Do you prefer the gifts you give to be in the want or need category? How about the ones you receive?
Hashtags: #gifts, #holidays, #gratitude
prenin
/ December 22, 2012Hi Red! 🙂
You have given me a fine gift – the final proof that my sperm donor is a liar! 🙂
By helping me reach the point of becoming a published author despite all the obstacles, you will no doubt turn him into a raging maniac spouting the usual mass of death threats, but what else is new? 🙂
No matter what happens from here on in I am content! 🙂
Love and hugs sweety and Merry Christmas to you and the tribe! 🙂
Prenin.
prenin recently posted..Saturday – a cold, wet day and a trip to the Co-Op
Red
/ December 22, 2012You wrote the books, Prenin. Happy Christmas {HUGZ}
MJ Logan
/ December 22, 2012Warning: Political content follows.
==== Politics ====
On a more serious note…
(did I make you smile a little?)
Thanks for having a great blog Red.
Merry Christmas.
MJ Logan recently posted..The Sixth Day of Christmas
Red
/ December 22, 2012LOL! Happy Christmas, MJ.
Tess Kann
/ December 22, 2012If it wasn’t for my grandchildren, I would shut the door on gift giving. However, I do have a soft spot for some acquaintances, for whom I’ll go out on the limb and love surprising them with something they NEED. I am way too practical.
I confess I give a lot of books because I work in a used bookstore but I only choose like-new for gifts–but I do not hide this fact and so far everyone I’ve gifted has sounded tickled.
Tess Kann recently posted..Flash in the Pan X3 – Plus HOT Flashes x3
Red
/ December 22, 2012I doubt I ever truly will close the door on gift-giving. It is part of who I am to give. I do not think of those as used books, Tess. I think of them as loved stories. <3 I see you have been busy. I will be 'round shortly to read what you have been up to writing.
Binky
/ December 22, 2012If we all got what we needed for Christmas instead of what we wanted the world would definitely be headed in the right direction.
Binky recently posted..Toy Commercials
Red
/ December 22, 2012We just may have figured out this utopia business.
Derek Mansker
/ December 22, 2012The whole gift giving thing seems to be overdone. Take a look at the long lines after Christmas with returns. I have never understood that. To me gratitude recognizes that you are not entitled to anything, but someone took the time to get something for you. That at least deserves a ‘thank you.’
Derek Mansker recently posted..The Lego Jar (12/22/12) – Merry Christmas
Red
/ December 23, 2012I agree with you. I am a regifter, not a returner.
Laurie
/ December 22, 2012One year I got my oldest daughter whose birthday is two weeks before Christmas her birthday present and asked what she wanted for Christmas. Her reply “I think you’ve spend enough money. You’re broke now aren’t you momma?”
I almost cried. This year the short kid has gotten gifts from school and brought them home rummaging through bags with her little face shining. In a couple days she’ll open Christmas then birthday presents (two days after Christmas) and she’ll have gifts from the therapist office, because they just wanted to get her something. They love her, and they took care to think of things they thought she’d enjoy, and she will because they know her. They even bought the oldest gifts because they don’t think it’s fair to buy for one and not the other.
As for me, one more grown person is going to complain about something and I’m going to show them the true meaning of “be thankful for what you have” by taking a sledge hammer to thier possessions and setting fire to the rest while singing “we wish you a merry christmas.”
Hope your Christmas is merry and limited to those with intelligence. 😉
Laurie recently posted..Amazed at the Progress
Red
/ December 23, 2012When you get to swinging the sledge, I have a few on my list you can help. 😉 My Christmas will be limited to me and the little ones. We shall have a great time. <3
Laurie
/ December 24, 2012Goody! More exercise! Sure enough when the oldest found out she had gifts she wasn’t expecting her response was “awww how sweet” she fully realized they were under no obligation to purchase anything for either of them 🙂 I am proud of that child!
Laurie recently posted..Severe Weather
Laurie
/ December 24, 2012and that short blonde kid, acted like the notebook she got was the gift she’d been waiting on all year; she snatched it out of my hand, grabbed a pencil and ran off with it while I sat in the floor going “um, there’s more”….
Laurie recently posted..Severe Weather
Red
/ December 24, 2012I always hope they open that present last. I am only batting about .280 though.
Red
/ December 24, 2012Awesome present. Grateful children are always the best.
El Guapo
/ December 23, 2012I’d rather give a gift when someone needs or would appreciate something than during a traditional gift giving time.
And only partly because sh0pping places at holiday season suck.
El Guapo recently posted..Even Better Than The End Of The World – The Beginning Of A Year
Red
/ December 23, 2012I suppose it is why I have less of a problem with the traditional timing. I am always finished physically shopping by August. I do some last minute online things, but none of that other baloney.
Lizzie Cracked
/ December 23, 2012you do a pretty mean birthday gift Guapman – just sayin 😛
Lizzie Cracked recently posted..I Believe in Santa The Ninth Holiday Mental Moment
Red
/ December 23, 2012He does do that.
N'n
/ December 23, 2012Wow, Red. I thought I was exhausted in this lead up to Christmas, with work, but considering you’ve just been ill & are now doing so much : you’re just amazing.
Congratulations on your magnificent achievements. Can’t wait to see the site! You’ve so clever – CODING??
N’n recently posted..from Daniel&Me to YOU – take 2
Red
/ December 23, 2012I have a penchant for making things work even when all I have is a skeleton…or a pile of bones in some cases 😉 Do not think I will not be knocking on your virtual door in due time. You, my dear, have novels. <3
Novroz
/ December 23, 2012Merry Christmas Red 🙂
Novroz recently posted..Christmas Carol Special
Red
/ December 23, 2012And a very happy Christmas to you, Kurome, Kroten and Papoe <3
Sage Doyle
/ December 23, 2012I have good people in my life because I’m going through a financially tight time currently, so I’ve pulled some great books from my own personal collection, and selected perfect books for each of the people I’m giving gifts to, even the children. I individualized my selection obviously, and I know they will all appreciate the thought, and the books themselves, even though it’ll be obvious that I’ve not made any purchases. So I feel fortunate that this will be appreciated, since it’s all I can give at this time. Anyway Momma, I do come by your site daily, I get it through my email, I just don’t always have something to say. I wish you a happy and peaceful holiday season, and a wonderful new year!!! 🙂 Sage
Sage Doyle recently posted..Working Towards Publication, Awards, & “Rain On Water”
Red
/ December 23, 2012They will be appreciate, Sage. Each was chosen with care, which stems from your knowledge of the recipients and your heart. I know you are a lurker 😉 It is fine. Happy Christmas, Sage. We are going to have a fabulous new year! 😀