Thursday was the day the M3 Readers found out I was officially on the disabled list. Last weekend, I managed a second degree burn on my left hand. The debriding continues, but is not painful. What started out as a nearly three inch burn will likely leave less than a two inch scar. I have a mite too much experience in dealing with burns, especially since the last one was a third degree which was all the way to the bone. My
Sadist physical therapist did not notice it until I pointed it out to her.
As though there were not enough problems with my left hand, the burn was on immediate advisory for no typing. Not like that really happened… Well, I cut back to email only. (Whistles Dixie whilst sweeping the trash and sent folders out.)
Last month at this time, there were almost 40 flashes in the pan. As of Friday, there were 70 entries to the first Flash in the Pan book. Do you have an entry? If not, you have until midnight (GMT -5) tomorrow to get your link to me. Click on Flash in the Pan under the header for the inspiration words and the limits.
Have you seen some of the flashes? Awesome, awesome, awesome. If you do not think it is possible to hit a home run on your first at bat, you have not read some of the newcomers to flash fiction.
More books have been returned to authors after the latest round of beta reads. They are on the home stretch. Another one has made its way to the ready for press pile. The short version: Many people are working very hard to make this launch a success. Every last one of them deserves a round of applause. Yes, the zombies, too.
Have you entered to win a copy of Forty Grains of Black Powder yet? Taps foot impatiently. You can enter everyday. If you are already subscribed to email from The M3 Blog, press the Do it! button. It is worth five chances.
Feeling the Love
Have you been to see Cat Forsley’s new blog? With the theme Passion, Fervour & Forever is a happening place. No, that is not a CSS sheet. It is an everyday topic of conversation! She hosted yours truly for a Passion feature. What do you mean you do not know what that means? (It opens in a new tab. Talk to Clyde, then go see what’s what.)
Right Turn, Clyde!
Impatient orang! Really? Oh, sure, fine. I did not want to talk about anything else. Seems Clyde thinks I was trying to steal his thunder in the second paragraph. Tonight’s subject from the flippin’ ape is scars.
Now, if we were to sit on the porch and compare scars, you may well get the impression I must be a complete klutz. Nothing could be further from the truth. Since I began walking, I have fallen fewer than an half dozen times; however, that grace does not extend to what has broken my skin over the years.
- Fights (fist, knife, sword, pellet rifles)
- MVA (plural)
- Bites (spider, human, snake)
- Burns (all degrees, all methods)
- Fire (as in caught on)
Over the years, I have learned a bit about scars. The first thing is that scar tissue is far stronger than whatever I damaged to cause it. Necessarily, where there was pain, there is gain. While it was a good lesson to learn, albeit the hard way, it likely is not the top of the lesson list.
One of the most important things to learn about scars is how to minimize them. No, this is not going to be a skin care class.
The Aleck in the group will likely raise a hand at this juncture to point out avoiding situations where damage is probably going to occur is the most expedient route to minimizing scars. I am going to be blunt. Put your hand down. You are a Sooner.
None of us wants to the the one with the giant scar sticking out of some piece of clothing which makes people titter and stare and point like a gaggle of social misfits. Still, we walk around with our scars on display like a scarlet A.
I am not talking about the railroad track where the staples were for your last surgery. I am talking about the scars left behind by those we love. You have one…at least one. Choose all which apply, but keep your answer to yourself for now.
- Broken Mate relationship
- Lost friendship
Unless you are the inhabitant of a hamster ball, one of these events has occurred in your life. Its effects may have been immediately noticeable or may well have stayed hidden until the next time it occurred. Either way, you did not escape unscathed.
Despite how you may cover your scar (humor, nonchalance, withdrawal), it is noticeable. There is at least one person in your life who saw it, recognized it and… did what? Try to talk to you? Try to get you to talk about it? Tried to get you intervention? Waited patiently by the telephone or on the couch for you to get comfortable enough with yourself to let the pain flow from the wound, so the scarring could begin?
Yes, waiting for you to be ready to heal is one of the hardest things someone who loves you will ever choose to do.
Were you busy pulling down your sleeves to hide it? Were you telling everyone else? Or did you merely crumble and refuse to allow someone to help you rebuild? These are all examples of misery preferring no company. Rather than let the wound scab, get ugly, be debrided, get clean, be medicated and heal, you stuck it right out there in the stream of bacteria to be infected and consume the life you had built.
None of us are immune to the slings and arrows of friendship and relationships gone awry. Family has no compatibility test. Those people enter your life by sex and genetics. Often, they are far more trusted than those who overtly earn trust. Trust is an extremely sharp, two-edged sword. Whether used to defend or to offend, it holds the power to keep the wound open. Who holds it?
If someone who has stabbed you with it before wields it, what do you use as a shield? Although your mind is more powerful, you often choose your heart. For, were it not for your heart, you never would have handed them the weapon in the first place.
Since the shield is both weak and damaged, employ strategy.
Walking away is the first step to regaining the power to heal and close the wound, so the scar can begin to lend its strength. Stop engaging the one who is hurting you.
Lashing back at those who harm you is a natural instinct. It is governed by hormones. You can resist this urge. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Put it in the refrigerator and let it become a science experiment. From mold comes penicillin.
Not engaging or confronting the one who hurt you is not synonymous with disengaging from life. The very best revenge is living a good life.
Minimizing internal scars is neither easy nor science. It is, however, not complicated. Regardless of how alone your pain may make you feel, there will always be one person who will help you. It may not be the person you want. It may not be the person you trust most. It may just happen to be the last person you would consider an ally.
Who is waiting for you? More importantly, for whom would you wait? Do they know?
Until next time,
I hope you are having a restful weekend. See you in the comments and the pan. Answer any of the questions from Clyde.
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(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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