The block button is the only social media button more powerful than the share button. I have to flip a coin to see which one I prefer on any given day. This week held precisely no exceptions.
Our Friday nights have normally been spent in my inbox, so I shall stay true to form, at least for a few. But I will let you in on some of the fun I can have on social media, as well.
Sex is overrated.”
We all know sex sells, but I have to admit Let’s Talk About Sex was not the post I thought would fly off the charts, nor rally so stinking many people to carrying pitchforks and torches. The most colorful one in my social media inbox was a little lady (guessing and giving a bunch of latitude here) from Indiana. It started innocently enough…You know, dear, …
She did not take four words to get to the cataclysm. In the barrage of insults, I pictured a 3’11” cotton-top wagging a bony finger toward my nose with the other hand clenched on her hip. One quote stuck out more than all the others…Sex is overrated. Anyone want to put that to a poll?
You are a racist Republican bigot.”
Remind me to never move to Nevada. The desert must fry the brain. Enter Old Sparky. On the subject of last meals, I apparently turned someone’s stomach.
One particularly caustic email came from a man(?) who signed his moniker as Truth from the libral write. Before I question the possibilities of his October birth, dyslexia and dementia, let me give you a few gems from this scathing message:
- Only racists supports the death penalty.
- You republicans are all alike. Why not just starve them to daeth?
- Bigots are the reason we even have a [expletives (plural) deleted] death row you moron.
I ran out of fingers trying to list all the things wrong with just those three statements.
Party girls are a bad influence.”
Can I have a Scarlet A as well? Mona (if she signed her real name this time) was completely bent over After Baby BFF. Once again, I am the cause of all which is “wrong with society today”. Some of the list of should’s and should not’s I got were:
- (Should) Keep my dress down. Hanging out with my BFF would inevitably lead to more children.
- (Should not) Be hanging out with party girls. After all, they are a bad influence and probably why I got pregnant.
- (Should) Just stay home and take care of that Gift From GOD. And to think I missed the angelic FedEx guy while I was at the hospital.
- (Should not) Pawn that beautiful child off on my poor husband. (Deep breath. Count to 10.)
Just to clear the air, Mona:
- I am wearing pants (for once).
- I cannot class my girlfriends as party girls. And sex causes pregnancy.
- I do not have a bundle of joy at home. My grandson lives with his mother, my angel.
- I am currently not married, getting there next year, but not yet.
You have no taste what so ever.”
I revealed the song stuck in my head and really, seriously wish this emailer had actually L.I.S.T.E.N.E.D. to the song…and followed its advice.
This particular message remained completely anonymous, but took the time to object to each (EACH) of the 36 questions. Although the perfect revenge would be posting them all, let me show you which answers of mine were most hated:
- 6. You don’t need anything in hell and you cannot take it with you.
- 7. Just join an internet dating site and quit advertizing on a blog for [expletive deleted]’s sake.
- 8. You can’t have ex’s. Nobody would put up with your [expletives deleted] long enough to get together.
- 18. Everything about you is EVIL! [exclamation points deleted]
- 26. [Expletive deleted] drug addict.
- 36. You aren’t important in my life.
Wow! I would never have guessed with that level of objection.
~~~~~~~~~~
And there you have the top jewels from this week. Any retorts?
G Devan Smith
/ December 9, 2011See, the problem isn’t you. From how they write, it seems they’ve got something hidden in their closet. And that old woman? I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s running sex parties at her house. At her age. I’ve know wilder things.
Sex really is overrated… the more it’s shown, the less its value. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but just cuz I do doesn’t mean I need to be exposed to it ALL. THE. TIME.
Party girls? I’ve known women older than me…”Party.” Honestly.
annmariedwyer
/ December 9, 2011LMAO @ Sex parties! Thanx for the giggles! Red.
awarewriter
/ December 9, 2011You know you’re doing something right when you piss people off Red. It seems that most of your haters probably drink their coffee from saucers as shallow as their brains.
John
annmariedwyer
/ December 9, 2011Why thank you *curtsies sweetly* And I am thinking they do it on all fours! Red.
Angela Young
/ December 9, 2011Thanks for the laughs. I’m learning things for the days when I start getting real hater mail. Now I just get one or two who dislike my religious beliefs. Hang in there and use them for all you’re worth:)
annmariedwyer
/ December 9, 2011As much fun as we have on Friday nights, I hope I do not get bounced for spam with all the hate mail I do get! Whodathunk the topics I write about would make so many people so N.U.T.S. Red.
raymond alexander kukkee
/ December 9, 2011Red, don’t forget the religious fanatics, that is the prunes with runes, the religious ‘right’, including, more precisely , the self-defined ‘righteously-religious’ fire-slingers that run around with broomsticks stuffed in inappropriate places just in case they need a ride to the nearest party of tea-drinking cross-burners…. They clearly don’t like red-haired women either….lol
annmariedwyer
/ December 9, 2011You know, all my years in the Department of Elections taught me to keep my politics to myself. And unless specifically invited, and after appropriate disclaimers are issued, I do not discuss politics. My closest friends hear it, but that is all. So, I will never be able to understand the breadth and depth of the assumption necessary to get from “what would you order as a last meal” to “racist Republican bigot”.
*Scratches Red head*
Red.
raymond alexander kukkee
/ December 9, 2011Red, I sense a new angle coming up regularly “The Red Retort Report” “:)
annmariedwyer
/ December 9, 2011This is already my Friday night feature! Some of my readers come only for this and the Saturday Evening Post!
Marc Phillippe Babinau
/ December 9, 2011You know,..
1) Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. And, those who can’t do either preach about the virtues of not doing anything.
2) Sex is only overrated if your partner is no good.
3) There’s something wrong in Nevada… (must be all those old mob bodies stinking up the shallow desert sands).
Marc
annmariedwyer
/ December 9, 2011ROFL @ mob graveyard! You may be right about that one, Marc! Thank you for stopping by! Red.
liquorstorebear
/ December 9, 2011You’re obviously picking some good subject matter. It’s funny how the most judgmental people usually have so much trouble with spelling and grammar 😉
annmariedwyer
/ December 9, 2011That is soooooooo the truth! I suppose all that seeing RED makes them miss the right keys 😉 Good to see you! Red.
Bear
/ December 10, 2011To the lady who thinks sex is overrated change the batteries moron and your arm will stop hurting. Or make a noise so the guy knows your still alive. Second, if you hang out with other party girls and you get pregnant chances are theres a cross dresser in the bunch. Pawn that gift from God off on someone else? No, but if I could find a buyer for one or two I would be happy. I thought murderers, rapists and bad people were the real reason for prisons, but here is my new motto: Hug a bigot: He may have saved your life! Bear
annmariedwyer
/ December 10, 2011LMAO @ batteries & cross-dresser! Thank you for the late night giggles, Bear. Great retorts! Red.
lorrelee1970
/ December 10, 2011Misery loves company. She just wanted you to join her.
annmariedwyer
/ December 10, 2011LOL! I love that assessment! Glad to see you! Red.
totsymae1011
/ December 10, 2011People are a little sensitive these days but some like being uptight; having something to complain about.At least you’ve caught their attention? 🙂
annmariedwyer
/ December 10, 2011And I feel quite certain they get the chance to come and see their words live in infamy as well! 😉 Thank you for stopping by to comment! Red.