Let’s talk about the truth.
The Truth,
The Whole Truth and
Nothing But The Truth
Telling the truth goes beyond just saying something which is true. It means telling what is true without leaving anything out or adding anything to it.
Euphemisms like “little white lie” and “fib” make avoiding the truth sound harmless. In fact, it is not. Lying will always damage your relationship: friendship, relationship, marriage. Always.
The truth does not change over time. It is static. Just like the sun rises in the east, the truth is faithful. It is far easier than a lie since it is one fact to remember as opposed to the original lie and the web of lies necessary to support it. Eventually, you make another mistake (beyond lying in the first place). You mis-remember and drop one of the balls you are juggling.
You can’t handle the truth.” Jack Nicholson, A Few Good Men
Even when you fully believe the person you are telling cannot handle the truth, it is best to tell them. Lies of omission (failing to fully disclose) are still considered lies. Tell the truth even if it will:
- Make you look like an ass.
- Hurt your reputation.
- Disclose an unpleasant, embarrassing or hurtful secret.
- Hurt the one you tell.
- Anger the one you tell.
- Threaten your relationship.
All of these things sound ominous and dangerous. Frankly, they are, but the alternative is far worse. When Mate finds out a secret you have not told, even if it is a lie which may not destroy your relationship, it will certainly damage the trust you have built.
The whole truth means even the truth you do not want to admit is the truth.
‘Tis strange — but true; for truth is always strange; Stranger than fiction.” Lord Byron, Don Juan
There are plenty times when the truth just sounds like a cock-and-bull story no matter how true it is. Before you jump the gun, try to figure out if this amazing tale could be true. Not only could the truth be entertaining. It could be funny much further down the road when you know as (weird, stupid, incredible) as it sounded at the time, it was really true.
If you think Mate is adding things to the story, ask. Better to ask and know than assume or jump to conclusions. Remember, the last part… nothing but the truth.
Truth is like the town whore. Everybody knows her, but nonetheless, it’s embarrassing to meet her on the street.” Wolfgang Borchert, The Outsider
NEXT: Forgiveness
valentinelogar
/ December 5, 2011True, however there are simply things that are no business but my business and so they shall remain locked in the vault.
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011I have to wonder if those particular truths got the distinction by removal of time and distance from the others involved…
valentinelogar
/ December 6, 2011For the most part, yes. In some cases they are simply my truths and not open for discussion or examination.
Angela Young
/ December 5, 2011AMEN! My mother drilled into our head that disclosure/truth are best. She noticed young that all the trouble in books, movies, life, started out when someone lied or hid the truth… All deception is wrong and misguided. (That doesn’t mean telling others your business all the time.)
Fav quote(s) on truth:
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32 KJV
And: “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” John 14:6 KJV
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011Thanks for the quotes. I think most everyone needs to learn the truth lesson by being burned (on one end or the other) to fully appreciate how much withholding the truth or embellishing the truth can really hurt.
I am a firm believer in NTK when it comes to neighbors and people who live outside the home. Thanks, Angie!
Red.
Sophie Tesch
/ December 5, 2011Can anyone see Truth through the shading of their personal perspectives? There are “the ball is red” truths but if someone is color blind the ball might not be red to them. So it’s not there truth, but it’s the truth to all who aren’t color blind. So whose truth is the correct one in that case?
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011In that instance, Soph, the best we can hope for is to reach some consensus. That murky statement made, the denial of action or the creation of action in place of inaction are much clearer. Perspective does shade some things. Other things truly are not grey.
Very good point. I have a sneaking suspicion someone else will want to answer that one, too! Glad you came by for a comment! Red.
Angela Young
/ December 5, 2011In the end, the ball is red whether someone can see red or not. I get what you’re saying though. Some things are truth. Some things are interpretations.
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011Which is a lot like if a tree falls in the forest…
Angela Young
/ December 5, 2011Very true:)
Angela Young
/ December 5, 2011OR – if a man does something stupid and his wife doesn’t see it …. 😉
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011ROFL! That is definitely a reputation saver if I ever heard one! 😉
Rhonda Meadows
/ December 5, 2011I have always been told it is always easier to tell the truth and avoid the confusion of trying to keep the lies straight. In my years I have found this to be the truth. The truth may hurt at first but people are more forgiving when they see what you told them was honest than they are when they see what you told them was a lie.
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011Experience has taught me the same lesson. Thank you for sharing, Rhonda! Red.
Marc Phillippe Babinau
/ December 5, 2011Great one, Red! The thing that I always told my little ones, and that I lived by, was that you don’t remember the lies that you tell, you remember the truth. So, when you go around lying all the time, you don’t remember what you said, and the next time you lie about that with different context you embarrass yourself.
Whatever happened to “little white lies”? or, is that now politically incorrect now too?
I know a few people who talk just to hear themselves speak, it seems, because they are constantly lying, and their lies change each time they tell them. Never understood why, when you know you’re gonna get caught anyways…
“The truth will set you free. Lies incapacitate you.” (me, just now!)
Marc
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011I think those ppl used to be my neighbors! The little white lie is the sugar coating from our discussion on the Saturday Evening Post. Politically correct or incorrect…still a lie.
Thanks for the new coin! Red.
Androgoth
/ December 5, 2011Yes, always tell the truth no matter what…
Besides if one is to be a liar then one needs
a very good memory but alas I have no room
for blatant lies…
Have a great rest of evening Red 🙂
Androgoth XXx
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011Aye, and no tolerance either (another of those things of which I am severely lacking). When you add them all up, they are like playing a game of telephone by yourself…and still losing. Thank you for your comments and your visit, Andro! Red 😀
awarewriter
/ December 5, 2011“The truth will set you free. But first it will kick your ass.” — Unknown
John
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011That sounds like a Dirty Harry quote! I like it though…*Evil Grin*
bear
/ December 5, 2011I have said this all my life I heard it somewhere “THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE” there is nothing but truth in that. I have been in law enforccement most of my adult life and for the biggest part of my entire life. I can’t get the fact that no matter if you saw them, some break the law and caught them red-handed they look at you and say it wasn’t me! Sounds all too familliar growing up doesn’t it? When you did something wrong and were suspected of doing the deed nope wasn’t me was the answer. We all have lied at sometime in our lives and most of us have been caught in a lie so where does this natural ability come from? I don’t know, but I can tell you from personal experience that lies do sometimes unrepairable damage but in the very minute instances some actually learn a valuable lesson. I personally catch people in lies everyday it’s part of what I do for a living. Ferret out the truth so its easy to catch a liar just listen……..
annmariedwyer
/ December 5, 2011And you do a good job of it, too, Bear. I have some idea where the ability stems, but that is the subject of another post.
Thank you for coming to comment. Red.