Saturday Evening Post

You’re mean!”

And you are ugly.   (!@%& At least pretend to be polite.)

Damn, Skippy! (Crap. Backspacing.)

Whatever makes you say that, my dear?

Sans Filter?

Now, unlike those unlucky who fell prey to the epidemic, my brain is fully engaged. It sends all those articulate phrases to my lips and controls the volume so I do not sound like a harpy… all the time. I suffer from a different affliction: Unmitigated Congenital Veracity

The Math

The condition is, from all my research, particularly rare. It is explained in an equation which looks like this:

Observation+Anger-Patience+/-Tact=TRUTH (Mean)
 Experience 

Ironically, this equation is also true:

Observation+Anger+Patience+/-Tact=TRUTH (Work w/ me)
Experience

Do you know what is weird? This one is true, too.

Observation+Sympathy+Patience+/-Tact=TRUTH (Sympathy)
Experience

If you read the Original Saturday Evening Post, I am running low on Patience and Sympathy, but have an abundance of Anger. Likewise, I stay Tact-challenged. Regardless of the availability of ingredients, it all boils down to the inescapable truth.

mushroom cloudThe Prognosis

Grim.

  1. Chances of me editing my writing is negligible.
  2. Chances of me changing the content of my speech is non-existent.
  3. Chances of me censoring IRL is extinct.

The Cure

Prevarication.  Damn, it is terminal.

Coated in Salt

By now, you have picked up on the politically incorrect nature of most everything I touch. If not, click the Saturday Evening Post menu tab and get a snort. While I will go a long way out of my way not to hurt anyone’s heart, I have no compunction from hurting anyone’s feelings with the truth.

Rock Salt

You see, if I hit you between the eyes, the bruises go away. If I smack you with my glove (without a brick in it), you are likely to come right back to where we are now. Mean, eh?

Sea Salt

You were led astray by some well-meaning ignoramus, but the cure for ignorance is knowledge. Work with me. Please.

Extra Fine, Light Sprinkling of Salt

If you truly do not know any better, again, the cure for ignorance is knowledge. I can help you. Sympathetically.

Bottom Line

I am not mean. I mean well. And I would sooner tell you an unpleasant truth than lie to you. I sleep well, conscience clear. If you cannot handle the truth, do not ask for it.

Do you sugar coat the truth? Does it cause miscommunication? Do you have a IRL friend with my affliction?

© Red Dwyer 2011
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14 Comments

  1. I somewhat sugar coat the first time. I suspect we all do to one extent or another. It is our nature to want to send people sliding down the exit ramp with as little pain as possible, you know grease it with something other than alcohol which will really burn in those tiny cuts you made with your tongue.

    Then then eventually we all come to that point where nothing will do but rock salt, vinegar and the above mentioned alcohol on the exit ramp. Hurts like hell, but usually gets the message across.

    Reply
    • I suppose I do something similar, since I do not add anger to the mix until I have told you thrice. That is when patience exits stage left.

      “Tiny” Hmmm. *Evil Grin* Red.

      Reply
  2. I was once told there is such a thing as too much honesty. Not sure what that meant. I tend to blurt things out rudely if my point isn’t getting across, subtly isn’t my strong point so if they didn’t get it the first time all patience is lost the second time.

    Reply
  3. I actually lose it, maybe salt-peter, when people step in where they have no business being there. Case in point people who leave comments in groups that have nothing to do with them – and, of course, ad spammers! I give no second chances to people who outright insult me on a public post, trying to sound all-mighty.. am I a bad person for this, short tempered even though I could wait a couple days before responding? I don’t re-insult, I ask why they felt they had to say that, and why in the world are they even there in the first place.

    Reply
    • Those are two which stand my hackles up as well. It take a large measure of restraint to keep from blasting back when someone says something terrifically inappropriate.

      Spammers, on the other hand, directly to the iggy bin. Do not pass GO! Do not collect $200.
      Red.

      Reply
  4. Red, when ugly or inappropriate commentary is offered, I do try to offer reason at some times, and I usually win the battle of words, if not hearts. Spammers = into the trash they go instantaneously, sometimes stinging and singing in high “E”. “:))
    Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. I have given up trying to be “politically correct” or sugar-coating the truth. I would rather use the good old pickling salt treatment so it doesn’t wash off TOO soon, add some very hot pepper to the OUT-ramp in some instances, –and as you are aware, lay things on the line. The truth always comes out; interestingly, the more we help it, the faster it DOES come out. Conscience clear= GOOD.

    Loved the post by the way, Red!

    Reply
  5. bear

     /  December 4, 2011

    sugar coating the truth is almost lying,come on hit me with the truth yep it may hurt but at least i can cope with it. Lie to me and you have opened up a can of whoopass. stand up be who your mom or dad taught you to be honest never tell a lie.or at least thats what i have been told!

    Reply
  6. Yes I agree with you on this one it is
    always best to be straight up front and
    completely honest about everything…

    Have a wicked rest of
    afternoon and evening Red 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
    • The little lies make finding the truth nearly impossible. They become like spider webs…impossible to brush away without them clinging to the hands…Red.

      Reply
  7. Sad to say… it depends on my mood. and whether or not I’m tired. I don’t like to hurt CERTAIN people’s feelings… but when I get too tired all filters shut down and I say whatever.

    Reply

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