I have been watching a discussion about love. One party whipped out Webster’s to begin the discussion, yet chose fourth definition for the purposes of discussion. We have done this sort of thing before. Time to go off the ranch.
The comments from the discussion spanned the gamut from the lovelorn to the devoted parents to the clairvoyant who perceived the question as aimed directly at them. During the intermission, the question remained: What is love?
Having answered this question on more than one occasion… The answer is not something you are going to understand by reading the definition. Clyde even gave a dissertation on what love is not. Each love is different in its intensity, maturity and reciprocity; moreover, each of us receives love in a different way.
All of us have heard of the love languages: quality time, touch, words of affirmation, gifts and acts of service. Since we are receptive to varying degrees to each of the love languages, pigeonholing is not on the menu.
With all of the nuances and variants, love may be best described as a color, specifically grey. It is somewhere between the extremes of everything and nothing with qualities from both. Yes, both.
Everything
Love is fulfilling on levels we fail to perceive as lacking until they are filled to brimming. Sometimes, we have no idea we need to be loved until a person presents with the requisite emotion and devotion to fit into a crack in our souls we could not see in a mirror.
It is an aggregate of hundreds of little things. The grains of sand which make the glass are forged with the heat of passion. No, not all passion is sexual. Ahem.
Occasionally, some of those grains would have otherwise lodged in our knickers and truly been a pain. When settled between so many others, they are smooth to the touch and soothing. If we list them, their sparkling qualities shine through.
- Gentle reminders, for our own good
- Politeness and gratitude
- Assurances with follow-through
- Trinkets and baubles
- Help
Would you like a personal reminder to take your medicine, delivered with a kiss? Would a thank you note in your gym bag make your day? Are you more secure when someone tells you they will do something, and they do it without a million reminders (nagging)? Do you enjoy flowers, a card or a meal on any given Tuesday, which falls on a date without strings attached? How would you like having someone to assist you without trying to lord over the project or demean your process, even if it is just the dinner dishes?
Nothing
One thing love provides is space. Most of us have heard of (or been a participant in) the decrying of a need for space as a brush off. This is not the same space.
When someone loves us, they can sit in the same room for hours without a word. They can watch us attempt feats they would never without pooh-poohing our preparations, all the while suffering from anxiety and fear right up to the moment we succeed. They can be silent as we shift our weight from one foot to the other waiting to hear, “I told you so,” and after we gush apologies, remorse or self-applied labels, still never say it.
When we love someone, we can wrap our arms around them and soak up the hurt without a word. We can be on the other end of the telephone while they listen patiently as we talk our way through and out of the problem we called to have them solve.
Pesky
Let’s get back to the pesky definitions in the aforementioned discussion. Webster was clear the definitions were different or grouped together by similarity. Unlike Greek and Latin, English is a poor language with only one word for love.
In reality, love takes its grains of silica from all of the definitions. The ratio of affection, devotion and benevolence is completely up to us. How much we temper it with admiration, enthusiasm and attraction changes how we view love and judge its fitness.
Using different amounts of different materials changes the color, makes it crystal clear or clouds it into complete opacity. Changing how fast the glass is heated changes its stability. Mixing and matching or winging the measurement of ingredients causes minor imperfections. Some have streaks. Others have bubbles.
The glass is different for each blower. We each breathe life into love: some in shallow breaths, some deeply, some even hyperventilate. The consistency we use to breathe into the glass creates beautiful fragile bulbs or dense, lumpy globes.
Work
While the ingredients to love are everywhere, it takes work to create a beautiful piece you wish to protect from harm, polish to a perfect shine and stroke its surface. No matter what color you choose, take the time to make love into a work of art you treasure.
Feel free to download and share.
If everything is white and nothing is black, how dark is your grey? How do you breathe into your glass? Why are we fierce to protect love?
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Bearman
/ February 14, 2014Some of my wife’s favorite times are our do nothing days
Bearman recently posted..Sagging Mattress Cartoon
Red
/ February 18, 2014They are some of the best times.
Grant Helms
/ February 14, 2014Love is… I don’t know what to say. During my recent re-evaluation of life, my definition of love has become questionable. I always classified love as sexual, subservient (doing things for others), family oriented, or religiously based. Now however, due to an in depth evaluation and some medical help, I believe that love is so much more. It is the soft touch of a hand on your shoulder. A gentle kiss on the back of your neck or forehead. The sweet smile as you realize that I am staring at you. The Good Morning coffee and medicine as you wake me. It is sitting in the tub with a glass of wine discussing our children, music and hopes for the future. It is, without a doubt, communication. It is found in the gentleness of a hug, a simple I love you or I missed you today (no matter how long it was). Love is holding you up when you are feeling down, and holding you down when you want to explode. Love is all this and more. But best of all, True Love knows no boundaries. It can be between me and anyone. My lover. My family. My friends. Now that all this has been said, I want to say one more thing. Red, I love you. Unlike anything that I have ever felt before. My feelings for you penetrate to the core of my being, and want the whole world to know. For as long as you will have me, I am yours. Happy Valentines Day to you and all who visit this blog.
Gray Dawster
/ February 15, 2014I hope that this does not come across as intrusive but I am so happy that Red has found such a fine gentleman as you are my friend, she is a sweet and dear soul and deserves all the love there is in this world.
I wish you both long and very happy lives together, each day and night offering something new and deliciously unique. In essence an exciting time for the both of you as love grows stronger with every heart beat.
Happy Valentine’s weekend to you both 🙂
Andro
Grant Helms
/ February 15, 2014Thanks Gray. May you have a wonderful one also.
Red
/ February 18, 2014I love you, too. xxx
prenin
/ February 14, 2014Love to me is important in so many ways, not least for those who enter our lives and become a permanent fixture.
A full-on sexual relationship is no longer on the cards thanks to my medication, but I still love my friends and am close to those I have shared a lifetime with who have become my family.
Love and hugs to you too my friend and God Bless You!!! 🙂
Prenin.
prenin recently posted..Friday – A Gypsy curse???
Red
/ February 18, 2014Love, especially from the permanent fixtures, is the best. {HUGZ}
El Guapo
/ February 14, 2014Love is like pornography. I can’t explain it, but I know it when I see (feel) it.
El Guapo recently posted..Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Foolishness.
Red
/ February 18, 2014And feeling it is really nice. Glad to see you, Guap.
LizzieCracked
/ February 14, 2014Love is the end of fear..
I breath deeply.. imperfectly and put my all and nothing into it..
I have not been hurt by love..onlY those who misused it. ♥
LizzieCracked recently posted..Why ask Why? Mid-Afternoon Mental Moment
Red
/ February 18, 2014Very wise statement, Lizzie. Indeed, love does not hurt. <3 xxx
Gray Dawster
/ February 15, 2014Have a sexy Valentine’s weekend Red, I hope you get lots of chocolate wickedness, oh and don’t forget the wine gums either 😉 🙂
A pressie for you…
http://andro54.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/25_thumb.jpg?w=465&h=581
Love your posting 🙂
Andro xxxx
Red
/ February 18, 2014What a precious cake! Thank you, Andro. I hope you, too, had a wonderful Valentine. xxx
RLB Hartmann
/ February 15, 2014My life has always been full, even to overflowing, with love. Flowing into me, and flowing out from me. I thank God for my life, and for the people he has sent to me for varying amounts of time and in a multitude of events. This morning I learned that a dear lady friend on Facebook has passed away after a heroic battle with ill health. Her family (4 adult boys) have been a priceless inspiration. I’m glad my faith tells me I’ll be loving them just the same in the next life. Rest in peace, Louise.
Red
/ February 18, 2014Very sweet condolence, L. xxx
Binky
/ February 15, 2014I remember that old Love Is cartoon. While some of them were silly, some of them were quite good, simple expressions of love.
Binky recently posted..Wine Gum Love
Red
/ February 18, 2014Sometimes the simplest are the best.
MJ Logan
/ February 16, 2014Love is when your friend gives you every possible reason not to get married and they all make sense, but you just don’t care.
MJ
MJ Logan recently posted..Basic Campfire Building is an Adventure Skill
Red
/ February 18, 2014True. My most disastrous were the ones everyone loved except me.
Candy
/ February 17, 2014Well done.
Love is everything and nothing. A big abyss of “I can’t live with it and I can’t live without out”— a self-inflicted purgatory at times.
Candy recently posted..Flash Fiction: Tools
Red
/ February 18, 2014The things we do to ourselves. xxx