Since this is not something I say with any kind of regularity, perhaps the photographs will say it for me.
Hold my hand.
She would be seven now.
CAT scan says head full of brains.
No ability to communicate it others understand.
Imaginative. Intelligent. Preposition-challenged.
Wants to get married and have children.
The only things which make me wonder are the unspeakable things we do to one another and my children’s inability to see in anyone the traits I do not show to them.
Then, I get really still and plan a way to provide constant care for them in my absence. So, I write another book.
Do you ask what if? Is it a happy or nostalgic musing or one which makes you reclusive to ponder what you may have lost?
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Laurie
/ May 16, 2013I’ll take them, they won’t have the luxuries they are accustomed to but they can stim to their hearts content.
Laurie recently posted..Day 16: What If’s
Red of M3
/ May 28, 2013Which would suit them just skippy. xxx And I know you would.
Wendy Reid
/ May 16, 2013Are these your children Red? I’m not sure if I understand this post. That wouldn’t be the first time. xo
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Red of M3
/ May 28, 2013Yes. The first is my daughter who died. The next two are autistic. My son will require long term care after me. We are struggling to help my daughter get to a level where she stands a shot at a reasonably mundane life. xxx
Derek Mansker
/ May 16, 2013‘What it’ is one of my favorite questions because it makes people think a little deeper than the surface. I guess it makes people dream a little also.
When it comes to the specific topic you are addressing here, I think it can be both helpful and harmful depending on where your mind is. We can ask ‘what if’ without letting bitterness or resentment take over because that will not lead to good places generally.
Derek Mansker recently posted..If leadership is influence, we need some real leadership.
Red of M3
/ May 28, 2013I generally do not what if in retrospect. I much prefer to what if in the future. In the past, it is often nothing more than hurtful.
Binky
/ May 16, 2013I ponder a lot of what ifs, probably not the best thing to do.
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Red of M3
/ May 28, 2013I have to concur, although I am not a what iffer in the traditional sense.
Candy
/ May 16, 2013This is beautiful.
I find myself playing the “what if” game a lot. And in pure honesty, I’m not quite brave enough to answer my own question yet.
Candy recently posted..Happy Birthday to Me
Red of M3
/ May 29, 2013Mayhap, your question would be better answered by looking at it a different way. “What if this strengthening leads me to conquer the world?” is a question I would love for you to what if. xxx
Prenin
/ May 17, 2013If If’s and and’s were pots and pans there’d be no need for Tinkers! 🙂
I lost the chance of having children (thanks dad – NOT!!!), but I looked after 42 and gave 35 years of my life to helping raise Dominic, Rachel, Emily and Becky, Emily and God Daughter Becky from birth.
I may have no chance of children of my own, but I have a family and I know that I am loved! 🙂
Love and hugs my friend! 🙂
Prenin.
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Valentine Logar
/ May 17, 2013My ‘what if’s’ lead to both dreams of future and sometimes dark pasts. They are also sometimes simple ‘what if I change just one thing’.
Yours I think are more profound.
Red of M3
/ May 29, 2013I think the one thing principle is terrifically profound. xxx
C. Brown
/ May 17, 2013I go to the ‘what ifs’ but then imagine the what if’s without who and what I have. Then I can’t think of what if’s any more. I hope that makes sense.
C. Brown recently posted..What’s Out There Waiting
Red of M3
/ May 29, 2013It does because everything brings people in and out of our lives. It is the butterfly principle. I get it entirely. xxx
raymond alexander kukkee
/ May 17, 2013Hugs, Red….Unimaginable ‘what ifs’ exacerbate pain, profound loss, grief and worry–and can derail the future if allowed to do so.
I have contemplated this model solution for a very long time, and it works.
…..I visually practice carefully placing ‘what ifs’ (or mistakes,the past, the unsolvable) in a neat package on a shelf, -tied up tightly with a nice ribbon— where they do remain visible; they can be admired and reflected upon –but are not opened, concentrated upon, or worried about, as difficult as that may seem.
Realistically, using this visual, they never go away, -they remain part of your life, there is no denial, but negative thoughts do not command one’s life or induce constant worry, sadness, inaction, or hopelessness.
Again, ((Hugs))
raymond alexander kukkee recently posted..Writing Life: New Challenges
Red of M3
/ May 29, 2013I have no energy or strength for the what ifs. I prefer what can… what can I do to better what makes others ask what if. Thank you, Ray.
Tess Kann
/ May 17, 2013Dwelling on ‘what ifs’ do no good. Beating oneself over what might have been doesn’t change anything except intensify heartache. The ‘what ifer’ might be jeopardizing her own health in the process, speeding up new ‘what ifs’.
My mother is my example. Asking ‘what if’s’ for the rest of her life destroyed her quality of life, but no matter how hard she wished for an answer, that wasn’t possible.
Tess Kann recently posted..Flash in the Pan – Parboiled
Red of M3
/ May 29, 2013I suppose I am glad I am the way I am. I say, Well, that was a stupid choice… Let’s fix it. I do not play the blame game, which leaves much more energy for finding silver linings. xxx