Dear Stupid

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  •  
There simply is no cure for stupid.

There simply is no cure for stupid.

Knowing the ubiquity of stupidity, this is a specific one.

Dear Stupid,

I recognize you are going to find a way to inject yourself into every one of my days if it is within your power, which is whence my question springs: How in the world did you get any power?

Oh, right, choice. *facepalm* You choose to exercise the power unwittingly given to everyone. You have the freedom to come and go at will. You have the opportunity to voice your opinions. Between those two, you have the power to be utterly insufferable. Couple that with your propensity to appear at the least opportune moments, and you are the bane of my existence.

Stupidity definitionSee, you have the chance to see my point of view. By definition, you eschew all chance to broaden your mind. Hell, you even are deaf to the blatantly obvious. I could point out your gender, and you would decry it as propaganda meant to deprive you of your God-granted right to be whatever you want to be when you grow up.

I have come up with a plan I want to test on you. Wait, what I meant to tell you was I know a perfect way for you to change the world!

I need you. You know how self-sufficient I am, so just admitting I need help is a big step. I need you to find someone for me. You will know when you have found the right one because they will speak and act just like me. Chances are good they will be over the age of 70, so you may need to begin your quest in nursing homes.

Survey all the people you know and find the one who knows the square root of 724 without blinking an eye. Even if you think they are wrong because they answered too quickly, send me a text with their name and number. I will investigate and message you back when I have checked their bona fides.

Sound like a plan? You are such a pal.

And I am always

Red Signature


Do you have a plan to banish stupidity? Can you write a letter a day for a month?

A Month of Letters

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PS This is late, so be prepared for a barrage of posts as I correct what got them hung up in the pipeline.

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8 Comments

  1. We can all be amazingly stupid at times.

    Reply
  2. To answer:
    Yes.
    No.

    I did have to blink twice, but, it’s a whisker short of 27, around 26.9, and change, I’m sure, though it took me longer than I remember to get there…

    😉

    gigoid, who gave up doing math in his head when he got his first computer…
    gigoid recently posted..Seven good reasons….My Profile

    Reply
    • LOL It is one of the computations I do in my head regularly. I floored someone in Lowe’s once when I asked the square root of some measurement, worked it out on a sheet of plywood and asked them to cut a triangle. *giggles*

      Reply
  3. You do know stupid whispered in my ear, says you are sort of mean.

    I laughed and told stupid to get to work.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Godless LiberalMy Profile

    Reply
  4. When I work out the square root of 724 I will let you know, and in all that time I might even have jotted down a few worthy names for your scrutiny, though I doubt that any of them would be suitable, I mean you need someone to share your days and nights, the laughter, the sometimes sad moments, the cuddles, kisses and sweet caresses, and…

    To be honest I have a shortlist of one but he lives thousands of miles away, a bit of a loony and enjoys the odd cookie or ten, well who ever said that eating cookies had to be limited? 🙂

    Okay time for me to dash, I have said that once today already but now I do really have to go and do my housework, the shopping, a bit of laundry, maybe even take in the sights, such as emptying the trash, that kind of thing 🙁 lol

    Have fun today and be good, just like me 🙂

    Andro xxxx

    Reply
    • Aye, the bane of the unkempt house. I wonder cyclically if I need better gnome repellent or better house elves. Surely, one or the other is poorly balanced for there to be this much to do in this cracker box of a home.

      Methinks cookie fixation is not too big a hurdle. xxxx

      Reply

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