Why does it feel like a month of Sundays since last Saturday? Oh, because I have been away. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. The snow is all melted, and we are back to autumn. Let’s talk.
Despite email failure and other assorted software woes, M3 is still here, and there are more posts scheduled. Some are from me. Some are from The M3 Readers. Some are even from FAB people who you have yet to see around these parts.
If by some miracle you read this post, comment to let me know if you would like to have your subscription to M3 mail back. I have narrowed the field of email providers to two. While one I despise, the other is a reasonable facsimile of what we had without HTML. Either way, Clyde’s last complaint will not be mitigated by it. By commenting your acquiescence to subscription, you will get a verification email (I hope) which will help your email provider not stop the notifications.
Fractals will return this week. I created some really beautiful images this week which I apparently dreamed I posted. I sincerely hope you like them because they brought me a lot of peace to make.
Right Turn, Clyde!
Orangutans are very social animals. As adolescents and young adults they live in small social groups. They live alone in adulthood, but interact with others. The exception is mothers. Mothers live with their babies in defined homes. The independent orangs move in and out of these home areas as needs or social situations arise and for defense.
During these times, they are fiercely loyal and supportive. They tend each others physical needs. Strikingly similar to humans.
Clyde is convinced humans are doing it wrong. Surprising, no?
Humans interject moralistic constraints on relationships, even transient relationships but especially sexual relationships. In furtherance of these constraints, humans subscribe sexual connotations to e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.
Friends sit in a restaurant sharing only a bottle of wine discussing the death of another friend. In a show of support, they laugh about fond memories of their friend and hold hands. The married person waiting on the server to bring the entrée thinks this is a public show of affection, sexual attraction.
A man squats beside an open car door to rub the calf of a woman. The divorcée next door believes he is looking up the skirt of his mistress. She has no idea the woman has just finished a half marathon for a charity of which his child is a beneficiary.
A woman wrangles dishes of food, a grocery sack and a $10 bouquet of mixed flowers into the door of an elderly man. The bachelor across the street smiles thinking the old man has snagged a May-December prize. He has no idea it is his neighbor’s birthday, which has not been celebrated since his wife died and his children moved away.
Best friends hug and whisper in one another’s ears in an airport. A twenty-something dragging a carry-on scoffs under his breath lesbians should both be in bed with a man. He fails to know the women have just had their first visit in five years and really want to be in the same state to share their children, families and the camaraderie they had before one’s husband was transferred 2,500 miles from their home state.
Two thirty-somethings are knee-to-knee, head-to-head whispering. One takes the other’s hands. The waitress standing beside the bench waiting for the bus rolls her eyes and wishes the young men would get a room. She has no idea the men are adopted, one of whose birth mother just died in a car wreck. They are waiting on the bus for him to go to the funeral across town.
Why do humans believe all touch leads to sex? For that matter, why do they look upon touch as something which should at all times be behind closed doors?
Touch is a tremendous comfort. Babies respond to touch long before they understand the words. Premature babies mature faster when parents use kangaroo care. When children are hurt, a hug and a kiss make the pain disappear. Massage relieves pain, physical and emotional. A hand squeeze reinforces support. Hugs exhibit sympathy and empathy. People who do not speak the same language hold hands during times of strife and heartache in support.
Knowing the tremendous power of merely touching skin-to-skin, humans should do far more touching for their own mental and physical health.
Why all the shame?
It is enough to make an ape wonder.
Until the next time the ape takes the reins,
How does the touch of a person who cares for you change your mood? Do you get the urge to hug or squeeze someone’s hand?
Hashtags: #touch #seeingisnotbelieving
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© Red Dwyer 2013
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