Dear Diary

Of all the multitasking I may accomplish in one day, a running chronicle is the least likely item ever found on my to do list.

Arrogance may well be the reason; however, the truthful reason is sleep is a valuable commodity.

Regardless how monumental any one event may seem in life at the moment, allotting time to journal it for posterity (or infamy) falls into the abyss of perhaps tomorrow. After all, how could I forget?

File Folders Free ClipartRarely do I forget. That is not to say I never forget, for that would be a lie. I do forget. On most occasions, I promptly file events and people under Don’t give a fuck. You see, it has an auto dump feature to ensure nothing of little consequence takes up real estate in the vast halls of excruciating minutiae.

After those things, comes the events and people I would gladly forget. These are the ones who star in the Friday Follies and who create random moments when I wonder what keeps their skulls convex. In the last ten years, I have said WTF more times than I care to admit.

Next are the occasions where I need to practice forgiveness. I need to remember the lesson and forget the pain. For each of those moments, I falter to commit the offenses to paper (or virtual paper) because it means holding onto the pain. I once read something I wrote in the midst of pain. It is one of the only things I have written I have not reread since to see if it could stand improvement.

stabbed in the head

Perhaps, I should not have done this.

Every once in a while, it is I who is doing the hurting. Self-inflicted pain is something I have learned to not do as often. I remember the lesson; I certainly do not want to remember the rest.

So, I have to wrestle with the idea writing more than I already do is to be considered therapeutic. Incidentally, I find the idea implausible. Much of my life has been chronicled in various and sundry venues. Some has been erased, some burned, some floats in cyber space dust, some died a hard drive death.

Amongst the millions of words, the lessons shine through even when the pain has been downplayed, obliquely referenced or foregone entirely.

To whomever would read a diary after I can no longer convey the information, my victories would seem boastful and my defeats lamenting. I wish to be remembered for neither.

Instead, I will continue to create memories for all who share my sphere, teach all who may wish to listen and savor the goodness in the quiet times many spend scrawling in journals.

In keeping with the theme, here is my letter:

Dear Diary,

My time is better spent giggling, cuddling and living. Very few will wonder what I did on a random Saturday, so I will spare everyone henceforth the gory details of the mundane happenstance which transpires in fast forward. If I ever do create a memoir, it will be clear it comes from my memory rather than your hallowed pages.

Meanwhile, do you mind if I just draw on your pages?


Red Signature

A Month of Letters

Month of Letters

This year I participated in the Month of Letters. I was not entirely successful, as I found the challenge after it had already begun.

For an M3 twist, I am writing a letter a day for the month of May.

Do you keep a diary or journal? Have you ever let anyone read it/them? Have you ever read someone’s journal or diary? Can you write a letter a day for a month?

Hashtags: #amwriting #letters

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  1. My journal keeping has been spotty over the years but I’ve been keeping journals regularly for the past few years.

    I’ve kept my journals to myself though I keep my digital journal in org-mode and have a nice template that will export to latex/pdf. One day I may publish it privately.

    I can’t remember ever reading someone’s journal. I wouldn’t unless invited to do so.

    I could write a letter a day for a month but I won’t enter the Facebook thing because Facebook is silly and intrusive and I dumped my account months (or years?) ago. Social media has too much trivia for my tastes. Ever read their TOS? Scared me away. Post photos on Facebook? What and give them rights to my work? Nah.

    Glad to see you back Red.
    John McDevitt recently posted..Busy Making Music with My Harps aka HarmonicasMy Profile

  2. First of all let me welcome you back into our family of friends, I / we have missed you my sweet and great friend more than you will ever know but seeing you here makes me very happy 🙂

    I do not keep journals, diaries and the like I see no reason for them. Whenever I have something on my mind I simply think about it and form a solution, often there are no solutions to what life throws one’s way but I would never write it down, for it is bad enough to have the negativity in the first place without actually writing it down.

    I think it is different for everyone, some may find it therapeutic to look back upon things that have troubled them, perhaps having fathomed whatever it was and finding peace.

    On the other hand it could be a joyous entry, recollecting a feeling of something wonderful that happened and having a giggle over how it all transpired. Diaries are usually something private, maybe adding feelings that are not able to be said out loud or of wishes and dreams, all to be kept locked away from prying eyes.

    Diaries are not for me though, I don’t have any use for them, but for those that do I think they must find them comforting, a reminder of the past or a future wish, but always something private I think.

    Have a lovely evening Red 🙂 🙂

    Andro xxxx

  3. Like you, Andro, I am very happy to see Red back in the blogosphere and this month of letter writing may have me inspired to do the same. I do not keep journals anymore. For years I wrote copiously in spiral bound notebooks in the dark of night. After twenty-seven years of painful reflections, I destroyed the journals and never turned back. I do write letters though, almost daily. For me journal keeping was an exercise in mental masturbation, ruminating and opening wounds which were better left to heal over. To write letters is an entirely differently thing. I am reaching out and connecting with another human as frail and strong as I am without creating the existential crisis which journal writing did. Now I am not one alone in the world of my thoughts and feelings, but among others I care deeply for and about.
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Poem – On Hold to ParisMy Profile

  4. I did keep a journal for a few years a long time ago, mostly as a way to force myself to write something each day. I don’t think I’d want to read any of it now, though.
    Binky recently posted..Insulting CustomersMy Profile

  5. Hi Red…so good to see you blog again ((hug))

    I used to keep journal but didn’t do that anymore, well I keep my journal in my blog once in a while.
    Novroz recently posted..Busy Me and Movies Lately: One New Movie and a Bunch of RewatchesMy Profile

  6. I wondered why you were so quiet Red – I REALLY missed you!!! 🙂

    My blog is a kind of diary, it lets me document my life, things that happen around me and get perspective! 🙂

    It also gives me a reason to get up in the morning, which would otherwise mean I’d be staying in bed all the time! 🙂

    Paranoid schizophrenia is a constant battle and one I have come close to losing many times, but the knowledge that my thoughts on my problems were ‘out there’ meant I didn’t feel so alone surrounded by poisonous people out to do me harm for financial gain – or in Darren’s case his services in return for being made a gangster which was his fantasy… 🙁

    Love and huge squishy hugs! 🙂

    Prenin recently posted..Saturday – LAR’s.My Profile


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