Memes are all the rage. On social media, they garner “friends” by the thousands, and people tune in to hear their drama du jour. How about some abject honesty?
Although I have gained weight, I do not have my own gravity field. I am not the center of anyone’s universe. Nothing revolves around me. No, I do not need sympathy or my ego stroked to know I am still just as beautiful as I was 15 pounds ago.
My beauty does not begin at my epidermis; contrariwise, that is its terminus. I do not desire adulation for what your pupil captures when you view my pictures or my person.
I did that.
If you are in my circles, you have seen that statement before. I take responsibility. Nothing which occurs in my life does so without my intervention, culpability and/or direct input. What happens in my life is a consequence of circumstances I allow or which are a direct result of my actions and inaction.
It is unlikely you will hear the words I’m sorry come from my mouth because I know how to conduct myself in a way which does not impinge others. If I have wronged you, I will ask your forgiveness only if I am remorseful. Otherwise, I will not waste my effort or your time.
In the event I have been wronged, I will find probable cause before I hurl accusations. I happen to know how much can be misunderstood from unfounded accusations. I hit those who have wronged me with their actions rather than titter in the background to those who cannot and will not make restitution.
Who said?
If they are talking about me, they are giving someone else a break.” ~ Red Dwyer
Indeed, speculation about my nefarious activities and proclivities are a source of amusement for me. Rumors are always, let me repeat that loudly, ALWAYS the result of half-truths and assumptions which neglect logic and various facts both in and out of evidence. In short, they are laughable.
(Click to enlarge, steal and post to social media.)
What is hurtful is those who base their trust and discrimination on information gathered from the ass’ mouth instead of the horse’s.
Under Advisement
While I covet opinions, I do so merely in a fact-finding mission to gauge the reaction to (events, ideals, proposals). I do not need a supplier for my opinion; it is a quite natural phenomenon which occurs when I gather enough facts to promulgate one.
I may well listen to your opinion. I will not adopt it, however, as I have limited space to accommodate ideas which are unsustainable. Provided your opinion comes with its own vehicle, home and occupation, I might consider fostering it.
Earned
I have earned many accolades. Not a single one of those accolades entitles me to anything other than the accolade itself. I do not deserve special treatment. This sword cuts both ways: Treat me no better and no worse than anyone else.
Longevity does not entitle me to deference; it merely means my time is not complete. Intelligence does not entitle me to service or goods; those must be bought. Integrity, competence and equity earn me respect.
Self-deprecation
I do not denigrate myself unwarranted. In the event I say something which appears to be self-deprecation, before you jump up and claim the opposite in an attempt to build my self-esteem, know this: I likely have information about myself you do not. I say these things because they are true, not because I want someone to convince me of the opposite.
Likewise, I do not fish for comments or compliments. While I am gracious, I do not seek compliments. I will celebrate them with others when I have gotten one I truly did not see coming. To be frank, my version of normal is so different, I rarely see them coming.
Out with it!
If I need or want something, I do not hint. I do not beat around the bush. I do not window shop, create wish lists or fawn about the things I want. Instead, I say, “I need that.” You will not hear I want that because I tend to just buy the things I want, if I ever want anything.
Depressed? Angry? Frustrated? All of these emotions are easy to determine. I state:
- I would rather be alone.
- I am livid.
- My mousetrap needs violins and better tablecloths.
I do not sigh except in comments (*le sigh* because the Internet is not good with body language). I open my mouth and articulate. If you can hear me or choose to read, you will know without equivocation how I feel.
Hurt
I have an unbelievable threshold for pain. When I go to the hospital and they ask me (in what makes me question the sanity of hospitals) to rate pain on the 10-point scale, I have a standard answer:
This rates a six on my scale, but likely a 25 on yours. On my scale, having a 13-inch hole cut in my abdomen with a soldering iron for a Cesarean section without anesthesia qualifies as a ten, and a broken skull ranks a four.”
In the last three years, I have been at death’s door twice because I did not register the pain above a three. My rule is I do not volunteer for the hospital until six. Both of those trips to the hospital were because others intervened when I could no longer stay conscious.
I live everyday with a pain level of three on my scale. Chances are good you will not see it until it gets over five. You can count on not hearing about it even then unless you ask or it is necessary for you to know.
Tower
Only those who feel it know when I hurt emotionally. I will not broadcast it by whining or wheedling. Instead, I commune with paper through art or poetry until I work out how to prevent its repetition. I bleed it onto the page. After coagulation, it is sealed away with the memories I will never share.
Odd
All of this behavior makes me an island. At least the beach is pretty. I cannot imagine myself going through life in need of rescue and an eternal victim. My wish? I were part of an archipelago.
Which meme behavior do you wish would become extinct? What makes memes act the way they do? How do we stop our children from becoming memes? Am I really a lone island?
Hashtags: #memes #truth
Thank you for sharing The M3 Blog with hashtags.
Gail Thornton
/ June 21, 2013I am just learning what a meme is. I have seen the term and heard it. I think it’s as simple as me me. Look at me. I am the center of the universe. If so, I would like the behavior which leads to harm to others to become extinct. Believing one is the be all and end all of the world is destructive to both the self and others. Memes act the way they do because they cannot tolerate self definition in an honest way. It is a veiled attempt to communicate falsely. We might help stop our children become memes by teaching them from the start that others matter, others have feelings and needs just as their own. We might also teach them to give to the common good.
Your last question is the most difficult to answer. You have stated you are an island. But I do not believe you are a lone one. The archipelago exists for you, as I believe you have already touched the shores of some of us. Deeply and indelibly having made your impressions of caring and honesty in our hearts. I for one, know I am one of them.
xoxo
Gail
Gail Thornton recently posted..Interview with Poet Laurie Childree
Red
/ June 22, 2013I cover meme more in depth on the SEP today. It is the gateway to mass hysteria and group suicide at its lowest. Mimeme is not a new principle.
As to my status in your world, I am a meme. Just remember, my hula skirt is no greener than yours. <3 xxx
BuddhaKat
/ June 21, 2013le sigh… what a beautiful compilation of thoughts, feelings and instructions on how to read you!
We each of us are our own island, I applaud the archipelago analogy. This allows that substantial connections can be forged and maintained.
To me, a meme, is like Gail says me me… it is a way some choose to communicate things about themselves, true or untrue. I think many of us seek archipelagic connections, not realizing that means both giving and receiving. Even sharing some of our boundaries.
Sharing in an archilelago requires diligence and vigilance to maintain the integrity of all individual islands, as you have said, making both our intentions and our boundaries crystal clear.
Expectations not clarified can bog us down, so I hope to keep open the lines of communication, such that my preferences and another’s are compatible. I have found that we even create “expectations” of ourselves. This creates anxiety and conflict within, not good for good chi flow.
As always, thanks for another powerful post and the connections you enlighten with your aptitudes.
🙂
BuddhaKat recently posted..Faithfully Fractal
BuddhaKat
/ June 21, 2013PS love your background fractal on your “beware” image… it fits perfectly with the words!!
🙂
BuddhaKat recently posted..Faithfully Fractal
MJ Logan
/ June 21, 2013I’m not even sure what a meme is. I thought they were pictures with thoughts or words, but now I’m not sure.
At any rate, you’re not an island, even when surrounded by an ocean of people.
MJ
MJ Logan recently posted..Basic Campfire Building is an Adventure Skill
Red
/ June 22, 2013I have the research behind memes in the SEP tonight. I like your visual.
Binky
/ June 21, 2013I don’t really understand what memes are. Aren’t they just fads with a fancy name?
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RLB Hartmann
/ June 22, 2013That’s what I thought it means, too. Except for my friend Peggy’s cat, Meme, who became the image of my character Domingo’s “ginger-colored cat.”
PS – new Internet coming to the bungalow on Tues., no more old laptop in the public library, back to my regular programming!
Red
/ June 22, 2013Awesome! I hope that means we will be seeing more of you. <3
Red
/ June 22, 2013Yes and no. Some memes are culture changers altogether. I put up some research in tonight’s SEP.
Candy
/ June 21, 2013This is so good. I read it twice. And you are an island. But, perhaps it is because if your island state you are the powerful, beautiful, inspiring and magnificent person you are. I aspire to build an island as enchanting as yours.
Candy recently posted..Flash in the Pan: Cantina
Red
/ June 22, 2013I like the way you look at that. 😉 Just be sure your island is only a short boat ride away. I would love to be able to get there on a jet ski. xxx
El Guapo
/ June 21, 2013Generally,I could care less what anyone other than my wife thinks of what I do.
I’m alright, as long as I can sleep at night.
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Red
/ June 22, 2013That is a good balance between ethics and endorsement. The two of you are such a good team.
Alexandra Heep
/ June 22, 2013What is a meme? Tom does not know either.
As far as the pain scale goes: I always thought that it’s ridiculous when doctors say “10 is child birth.” I live with constant pain. Now, they say that those with Fibro are super sensitive, which to others means “we can’t handle pain well.” Truth is that nerves signal pain when there really is not one.
I also keep finding out that whenever you say “that is the worst pain ever” it can be taken to a new level in the future.
In short, I kind of envy people who have a high tolerance for pain.
Alexandra Heep recently posted..Gardening in the Trailer Park: Sunflower Update
Red
/ June 22, 2013I explain memes and the theory behind them tonight on the SEP. It is ridiculous to consider childbirth a ten unless you are a man who likens it to passing a watermelon through the penis. I have had many pains far in excess of childbirth, and considering the number of children I have that statement carries experience.
xxx
Prenin
/ June 22, 2013Hmmm… meme = drama queen???
I’ve come across the word before, but had no idea what it meant! 🙁
Women seem to suffer far more pain than men and as my mum says she has a high pain tolerance I worry that she has to take so many pain killers to handle her deteriorating body.
She’s had three kids without pain relief, has a heart condition and gets by with a zimmer frame for balance, but still leads an active life! 🙂
WOMEN ROCK!!! 🙂
Love and hugs!
Prenin.
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Red
/ June 22, 2013If pain killers mitigate pain without altering consciousness, they are doing what they should and are not a cause for much concern. I agree. Women do rock. 😉
Lauren Scott
/ June 22, 2013What a wonderful post, Red, and I, too, am not sure of what a Meme is…I’ve heard the term, but will do more research. I am continually in awe of how you write and you even add humor when talking about your pain levels! You are an amazing person, Red, with infinite strength! Love and hugs to you!
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Red
/ June 24, 2013The rest of the definition with some of the research is in the SEP. Humor is by far the biggest weapon against pain. Much love, xxx