No Parking

In the wake of my post last night about the blogging roller coaster ride, I have received a ton of email (shocking, right?). This batch, however, is not fodder for Friday Follies. It all contains the real camaraderie which bloggers develop for the writers behind the blogs they stalk and haunt.

Me stay. You go.

1. I am not going anywhere.

Let me be more specific. I am not going to…

  1. Hell. (At least not until after I am dead.)
  2. STFU. (Dear Hatemailer, read somewhere else.)
  3. Stop pretending I know everything. (Cannot stop something I am not doing.)
  4. Stop blogging. (Why should I?)

2. I am going somewhere.

On vacation. I need one. I have some things scheduled to post, but I will be lurking elsewhere at post time. Hoping for a poolside with a good waitress.

3. You will see a skip in the movie.

Two of the emails to which I have referred will appear in my weekly feature of Friday Follies. They are truly the things which make a blogger scratch the noggin and wonder how people so blatantly stupid know how to read and navigate the web while intelligent people have a hard time booting up and using more than one tab.


I am not going to link back to the post. Instead, I am going to be megalomaniacal in quoting myself:

If patience is a virtue,…

…that makes me evil.”

Just another example of I am not perfect, nor claim to be. For those My-God/Allah-makes-me-holier-than-thou inspirational bloggers and hatemailers, I am glad you are shepherding your flock. (Although, I do wish the fleas of 1,000 camels to the crotch of the ones who referred you to M3.) To the M3 Readers, I am glad you are not looking to me to save your (life, soul, existence).

1 from Column A, 2 from Column B

Say NO to buffet.

Instead, I prefer to make you:

  • think about the things you have often accepted without thinking in the first place (much less twice)
  • laugh at the absurdity in everyday life
  • connect to the power within
  • step away from the morass of everyday existence to appreciate the good all around you
  • appreciate what a funny visual a tongue in a cheek truly is
  • answer questions which never occurred to you…even after the post was finished

Like it or not, I have an uncanny ability to ask the most bizarre questions. For some, it is a gift of great import. For others, it is more like a boil…on the tush…just under the panty line. (Oh, for cripes’ sake. Why does WordPress not know how to spell “panty”? Squirrel!)

Business as Usual

You all have the inner strength to accomplish peace in your life, which is evidenced by your ability to bring peace to mine. In that peace, I am happy to chagrin my naysayers announce M3 will return to its regularly scheduled programming this evening at the 2000 post. While I still have not decided the subject of said post, it will be something far more edifying than the 2000 post last evening and this all about me post.

You knew there would be a question.

Yeah, you did not think I would let you get off that easy on consecutive days. Did you? Right! So, I want you to tell me something.

If you could only tell me one joke, which one would it be?

Psst. There is no maturity rating/warning on this blog. If it is truly terrible, give this post five stars and hit the inbox.

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2012
Reblogging of this or any other post on Momma’s Money Matters is expressly forbidden.
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  1. I hope your holiday is wicked,
    ghoulishly cool and extremely
    naughty 🙂 😉

    Well is there really any other kind? 🙂 😉 lol

    Androgoth XXx

  2. Have a great vaca. Here’s one I always liked that I’m sure people have heard.

    A man moves to Alaska and wants respect from the locals. He goes into a bar and asks the bartender how he can get this. First, you have to drink a gallon of vodka, then you have to kill a bear and lastly, you have to have sex with an eskimo. The man drinks the gallon of vodka and sets out to find the bear. Hours later, he comes back bloody and bruised. “So where’s the eskimo you wanted me to kill?”

  3. Have a great one. If you’re going the right way, don’t forget the Konrico. Love you, Grant

  4. Two old ladies are sat outside a flower show and one says to the other: for £5 I’d do a streak through there!!! 🙂

    Her mates says: “You’re on!” so her friend strips off and runs naked into the flower show.

    Ten minutes later she returns with people applauding her loudly!

    “Didn’t you get in trouble?” He friend asked, passing her the £5 note.

    “No,” Said her friend, “but I got first prize for best dried arrangement!” 🙂

    See you when you get back hun!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!


  5. bear

     /  January 6, 2012

    Rachael’s joke gets my seal of approval, two things I need now, my bike and my gun for that pesky eskimo. Scratches are now healing.

  6. bear

     /  January 6, 2012

    Little boy walks into his mom’s bathroom as she’s toweling off from her shower. Seeing she has tattoos on her inner thighs, he says, “Momma, who’s that?”
    She says, “That’s Mohammad Ali, the best fighter in the past.”
    He looked at the other thigh and asks, “Momma, who dat?”
    “Well, that’s Mike Tyson, the best fighter of today….”
    He thinks for a second and says, “Well, if that’s Ali and that’s Tyson, the guy in the middle must be Don King.”

  1. The Root of All Evil | Momma's Money Matters

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