…or The Birthday Present.
Did you read Buzzzzz? Those of you who know me in real life, on Facebook, on Twitter, on Google+ and a choice few other websites insistent on displaying birth dates knew before the post went live today is my birthday. Those of you who clicked on the link at the end of the post would have found out how today should have gone. Now, I am going to open the window into my world. Really. Very. Wide.
A Better Perspective
The picture which greeted you on the homepage and in your email is not indicative of the window I mean to open in this post. You see, I need to have a more secure window than the one at the beginning. It is less about keeping me in as it is keeping the stalkers of the world out. I think this photograph is more representative of the window into which you may or may not want to peer.
Safety in the Bars
The Opposite of Hatemail
I first want to thank those of you who have come to my inbox and my tele to voice your concerns. For you, I am truly grateful.
Cracking the Bars
I choose to live sealed in my home like a hermit for many reasons. The largest such reason is the safety of my children. I suffer no delusions of grandeur or paranoia creating forces which exist only inside my head. In fact, we have been the victims of abuse, cruelty, discrimination and rejection over the course of the last six years.
We live in a place I often pinpoint as four miles past the point where all hope is lost. It is truly a desolate place. Would that a romantic story could present about choosing it for its rural solitude, but reality crashes the reverie: It was chosen solely for its location between two realities…the places of employment where my late husband and I were transferred from Long Island, New York. Yes, we moved from NYC to the middle of nowhere.
As is the case with any move, necessarily you encounter those people who are intolerant of you, your beliefs, your lifestyle or some other aspect on which they feel justified in judging you as insufficient and inferior to themselves.
In a town with less than 2,000 people, I have met more than 100 such people. While there are true bastions of humanity within our tiny community, the ones who thrive only to denigrate others while perpetuating a facade of generosity and basic humanness tend to overshadow the good.
The Slings and Arrows
In my brief time in Kershaw, South Carolina, I have been asked not bring my handicapped children to public events and churches; I have been specifically excluded from invitations to fellowship, both socially and spiritually; I have been the subject of investigation which ultimately proved my innocence; My children have been accosted when they were more than 800 miles removed from the subject at hand; and more.
The Shield
Those who choose not to interact with me are welcome to the choice. I have no desire to be included into activities where my presence is unwelcome. To do so would bring my sanity into question. The quality of my life is not compromised by others’ choices to avoid engagement. Truly, this is an aside for the shield is about those who choose to stand in the fringes with slings and arrows.
Stalkers
Stalkers are different from trolls because they do not hide from the light. Instead, they use it to better aim. Rather than face me, they choose to prey on innocent people in my world. Whether their cowardice is borne of fear of my prowess or of the magnitude of my will, they choose to pick out the people about whom I hold high esteem and deep affection.
In their failure to pursue the happiness to which most aspire, their sole satisfaction comes from tearing up the lives of people they have never met face-to-face so the pain is brought to my doorstep. I am a very big-hearted, compassionate, empathetic person. When the people around me suffer, I am hurt for them. Stalkers know this.
Enforcement
The events in my life have brought me in close contact with law enforcement officers who are duty-bound to protect the populace from such miscreants. The lengths to which I have gone are reasonable under the circumstances. When the facts are bared, the illegality of the harassment is quite plain. The legal loophole becomes the noose.
Stalkers seem to think as long as they are not hurting me directly, I have no recourse against them. In that fallacy, justice is still had. The aggregate of the behavior means they are liable to the many lives they destroy despite my legally unscathed visage.
Revenge
As is always the case, my stalkers perceive I have done them some grave personal injustice. In the way I do not feel those who choose not to engage me are no reflection on my character, for truly it is not, these animals can only see my rejection of them as a personal affront deserved of serving me a platter of revenge. They cannot wait for the dish to become cold, where it could be savored.
Truth
I have never held myself out as faultless. On the other hand, I do not subscribe to failure. When I fail in the eyes of the world, I am merely taking another step toward my goals. Those who choose to judge me for what they perceive as my failures and faults do so at their own peril. In my heart and mind, I know I have more to offer than just negativity and my assets far outweigh my shortcomings.
I will never succumb to the demands of emotionally distraught or bankrupt people who feel they may set the penance for ills done only in their perspectives. In this, I am certain. Until such time as the stalkers retreat into their own domains, the bars shall remain in place. The light will filter in and shine out in the meantime, as it should.
Marc Phillippe Babineau
/ January 26, 2012The smallest towns are the hardest to move to, if you want to be sociable to any extent, and the youngest, the most frail are always the one picked on, because it makes the bullies feel so much more superior. Let them have it, they need it just to look themselves in the mirror.
It sounds like you’ve moved to Salem, and forgot to remove that red tattoo from your forehead! Time to stock up on the assault rifles?
Don’t forget to have fun, to allow your flock to fly!
Red
/ January 26, 2012No, I have just been in the wake of people who believe grace excuses bad behavior. I think perhaps a tattoo may be a good idea. A brand which simply states:
Not for human consumption.
Red.
ansuyo
/ January 26, 2012Happy Birthday to you! Yikes! I’m so sorry people (and especially churches) have treated you this way. I am glad you are a strong woman with good friends to share your life, your pains and your joys. God bless you, Angie
Red
/ January 26, 2012Thank you, Angie. My friends have been wonderful through this.
Red.
awarewriter
/ January 26, 2012No person has the right to judge anyone but themselves. Up their collective noses with rubber hoses.
Such a coincidence. Happy Birthday Red. You picked a fine date for a birthday. Sue, our younger daughter, turns 36 today. Yep, Happy Birthday. Suck up lots of cheesecake and coffee.
John
Red
/ January 26, 2012I remembered Sue’s birthday. A mite hard for me to shake the date. Soon to trade my coffee for a large snifter and cognac. Give Sue a squeeze for me.
Red.
Androgoth
/ January 26, 2012There are always those that judge others, indeed I get some strange looks every time I go out so I have some idea of what you mean my great friend. It seems to me that those that add negativity before even trying to know the person or persons being targeted for no reason whatsoever are just hypocrites with nothingness in between their ears, there is nothing stranger than folks as they say and this is true.
You know, I think that some churches are the very worst as they have a sort of clique going on and when someone new arrives they feel threatened instead of embracing the qualities that are presented to them with open arms, how phony of them and this is a church where everyone is supposed to feel welcomed and accepted.
Judging a book by its cover is the most exasperating experience and is totally unnecessary, but you know in my way of thinking these charlatans can either like me or not, for I know that I am someone of a respectful nature and if they choose to think otherwise then so be it.
To me you always come across as someone very nice Red, and surely if I can see this just by reading your postings and recognising that you are a lovely person through your writing then surely these that have blighted your life where you live should have a much better insight, if only they would have given you the chance.
Narrow-mindedness is such a horrible consequence of living within a community alongside individuals with tunnel vision and a despicable attitude. You deserve much more than that my great friend.
Have a very Happy Birthday
Red and enjoy your charming family…
Androgoth XXx
Red
/ January 26, 2012Thank you, Andro. I live in the buckle of the American Bible belt. It is a land predominantly owned and operated by the Southern Baptist Conference. While their literature is indicative of a welcoming community, its churches often fail to read their own press. The behavior of the few should not reflect on the larger body, but as you know, when a limb dangles useless, it becomes the focus.
I live a relatively peaceful existence, yet have long held the opinion I have a magnet inserted subdurally which attracts drama in its myriad versions. I would not mind the theatrics should the script be well-written, the thespians trained and the production artful, but alas, such is not the case.
My salvage of what could have been a truly horrid day comes in the bright blueberry smiles of my children, the hundreds (nigh on 1,000) of birthday wishes from around the globe, the sweet gentility of a friend who broke bread with me, my best friend who took me on her travels to celebrate and my love, who keeps me secure.
Cheers,
Red.
Let's CUT the Crap!
/ January 26, 2012Happy birthday. So sorry to hear your community is so divided. I lived in a small town many years ago (less than 2000 pop). It wasn’t so bad then. Went back to visit many years later and people were peaking through their curtains but wouldn’t come out to say hello. I feel for you. Stiff upper chin. The young ones are who I feel bad for.
Red
/ January 26, 2012Thank you! It is the children who suffer in the end. They grow up knowing no different. Ironically, the exit rate here is significant. Perhaps, when they reach civilization they will be educated in the way the rest of the world operates.
LOVED your last post.
Red.
bear
/ January 26, 2012I have witnessed the stares from people at Red’s children, and I think, what a shame these people are so misinformed and so judgmental. They scurry like rats afraid of being caught.
And of the people of Kershaw SC, 99% of them are good-hearted people who live a good Christian life or at least try to. And then you have the scum who hide behind their Religion and throw rocks at things that they no nothing about.
You all know the type. Weekly church-goers that praise God and revel in his glory then walk out of the church and bad mouth somebody or interfere with the lives of people they don’t know. Just how good can these people be?
The scriptures say judge ye not lest ye be judged. I try not to judge, but it does still happen. So, no, I’m not perfect. And I will be judged for my actions by God and no other. God knows what I’m doing. And I will be judged. There is no mistake about that. So if any of you small-minded sloths read this, I get it. Do you??
So, with all this being said, there is one thing and this is a little off topic, so sorry all you good people. We live in the electronic age, and I am able to do wonders with a cell phone and who makes and receives calls from them and I have instant voice recognition. Here’s the point: Harassment is against the law, whether it’s me or someone I know, the law is on my side and I will put an end to this bullshit once and for all……And have a nice day!
Red
/ January 26, 2012Thank you, Bear. For all of it.
Red.
Patti Hale
/ January 27, 2012Geez Louise! What’s going on there? I am familiar with this version of religion and can only sympathize with you there. Hate that this ignorance is being visited upon your children.
Happy Birthday! This is also my sister’s birthday 😉
Red
/ January 27, 2012Tell her Happy Birthday from someone she does not even know exists! Patti, as long as there is religion, there will be people like this. Nature of the human beast. Been that way for thousands of years. It would be truly megalomaniacal of me to think it would pass me by without sliming me.
Glad to see you tonight!
Red.
prenin
/ January 27, 2012Happy Belated Birthday Red!!! 🙂
I have been subject to persecution as you know, so I know what you mean about small minds! 🙁
Love to you and the kids hun – you deserve no less! 🙂
Prenin.
Red
/ January 27, 2012Thank you so much, Pren! We managed a rather lovely evening in spite of everything. {HUGZ} Red.
christyb
/ January 27, 2012Thank-you Red for sharing these private pieces of yourself. I hope you celebrate the joy that is your family and had a wonderful birthday with those who care about you the most. I wish we could hug in person!
Red
/ January 27, 2012You are such a dear, Christy. You may have seen in the comments, I had the final revenge. Every once in a while I open the blinds and let those who are interested peek behind the curtain. Still just little, old me…literally and figuratively.
Red.
Phil
/ January 27, 2012First of all, Happy Birthday.
As to the small-town hostilities and for lack of a better term, shunning associated with people unwilling to understand anything outside their little box, I feel badly for you. Those who do this probably do not recognize the ludicrous level of hypocrisy of their life ritual of living a good life rooted in the tenets of their faith. Truly pathetic.
Red
/ January 27, 2012ROFL! Oh my word! Wait, I should have started this differently….
Thank you for the birthday wishes, Phil! It is the time of the morning when the light shines brilliantly through one of the picture windows onto my screen creating a horrific glare. When I first read your comment, my daughter spoke to me, and I turned my face toward her, trailing my eyes across a hot spot. What I read was:
“…unwilling to understand anything outside their litter box, …”
I seriously think my dyslexia was perfectly timed and abundantly accurate! *Still Giggling*
Red.