Tonight, I want to step away from the high-powered blog posts dispensing advice and remind (or inform) my readers, I am human.
The Minions
My children are a blessing to me, even when I feel like the baldness and insanity is hereditary, in reverse. I had six, and my husband left me four in his will. Yes, ten altogether. Add to that two grandsons, Jayden and Caden (no the rhyme was not a plan), and one more grandchild on the way. You see, I am trying to take over the world.
Perspective
Wistful in Kershaw 2010
Some of you close to the scenes know the littlest one is gone. Not abducted, not adopted out, not a runaway, dead… not to put too fine a point on it. Her death changed the way I view the world and tested my concept of tolerance to its breaking point.
Rules
Specificity is the rule. Rules over.
Foibles
Temper. Patience. Tolerance. Patience. Rage. Patience. Tolerance. Patience. Temper. If I was really smart, I would come up with an anagram which means: “Red” is for more than my hair color.
Assets
Pragmatic. Intelligent. Diligent. Erudite. Diverse. Sarcastic. Comic. Compassionate. I only claim three of these in public, but they are my favorites from the biographies written about me.
Facts
I am no different than anyone else. Everyday, I wake up (or am dragged from a dream) to ready my youngest, autistic children for homeschool. I cook. I clean. I play on social media. I write. I read. And at the end of the day, I collapse, exhausted but fulfilled. And tomorrow I will do it again. It is my job. I am “Momma”.
Future
Having been to the bottom before, I am firm in recognizing the good in my life. It appears from many sources. And on the days when I am slipping toward the abyss, I need go no further than my BlackBerry to know I am loved. This is an upswing. Ride it with me.
Until next time,
Red.
~~~~~~~~~~
James Parsons
/ November 12, 2011You are an amazing woman to do all of this and not be insane. I know this feeling because I also lost a child and the pain never goes away. You must be strong and hold your head up every day and keep going, because that is the only way to cope. GREAT ARTICLE
annmariedwyer
/ November 12, 2011It is never going away, but it does fade in time. But you already know that. Stay strong.
Red.
Miss Demure Restraint
/ November 13, 2011We do share something after all. I lost my first daughter when she was four. Her life was a blessing for me. You see she was born with multiple heart defects and each day she was witn us was one more than we thought we would have her. I feel your loss.
Touchingly honest and heartfelt post.
Off topic . . . please let me know how the HubPages works for you.
annmariedwyer
/ November 13, 2011I knew we did…just that Momma-intuition (read good judge of character).
Thank you for sharing, and you are more than welcome to inbox me for the scoop on HP. (Check the About Momma page for the addy.)
Red.
Androgoth
/ November 13, 2011I do not know the pain that one suffers at the loss of a child but I can certainly imagine the emptiness and the never-ending sorrow that fills every day and night thereafter, a feeling that is so intense that it shakes the very foundations of one’s being and crushes the hopefulness of a tomorrow without the feelings of impending dread…
To be strong through such adversity is a measure of one’s character and I wish you well my friend, as those very difficult times must leave such an unforgettable memory…
Androgoth Xx
annmariedwyer
/ November 13, 2011They truly do, Andro. If you took the click through to the “breaking point”, you saw of the Deranged Tour Bus.
Thank you for your kindness and support.
Red.
Androgoth
/ November 13, 2011I have just read your hubpage and clicked onto your photograph, I can only imagine your sorrow my friend and you are right, empty words mean nothing after such a great loss and so I will not offer anything further as I know nothing of your pain, not in the real sense of the words, but I do feel for your loss, and that is a truism…
Androgoth Xx
annmariedwyer
/ November 13, 2011Which, my friend, is the kindest gesture you can make. Red. xxx
valentinelogar
/ November 18, 2011As always you lean forward and bring the rest of us along for the ride.
annmariedwyer
/ November 18, 2011Thank you, Val! Glad to see you here. I hope you find more to tempt your palate along the way. Be well, my friend. Red.