But in truth, I am a masochist. What other explanation could I have for my behavior?
Be careful what you ask.
For months, I asked Little V what she wanted for Christmas. Last year, she said the same thing from her letter to Santa in September until Christmas morning. It was a mantra of the one gift she wanted. Why did I think this year would be different? Hopefulness? Belief in positive thinking? Idiocy? I vote for the last one.
Spelt similarly to caroling, this is a totally different serenade. The refrain is far different. Instead of exaltation of the birth of the Savior, this song is more a lament, an appeal if you will, but far closer to an outright beg. Despite the repetitions, the entire effort was wasted.
Bait and Switch
Perhaps, in the interim I could get her interested enough in anything else to abandon the first (and only) gift choice on her wish list. We toured toy aisles across three counties. Toy executives and marketers, may your armpits be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels. Not a single toy would dissuade her from her path. (Surely there is a lesson in dedication, tenacity and resolve we should draw from this. Gah.)
The Voice of Reason
…may as well be chanting with the Tibetan Monks. One would think she would understand the brand of speaking in tongues I employed, as she is so versed in so many. Alas, to no avail. She was bound and determined, in every language.
If she would not listen to me, perhaps she would listen to someone else. Enter Bear… who left the conversation to research the best brands. There goes the chance of me ever denying her as my progeny. Enter Grandmomma. (Read Queen of No.) She would return with the upside of the whole affair. Egads! Satan needs a heater.
I would go on to explain the following impediments to her gift:
- There is no place to put it in the house.
- It would upset the dog.
- If you get it, I might need to
take more Xanaxstart drinking.
- Entirely too much noise.
- Elves do not go to engineering school and cannot make such a gift.
Mayhap, you can argue with her retorts:
- You can just move a table. (craft table in the schoolroom)
- Cash a just go to outside.
- (Brings me a can of TAB)
- Just you to go in your room and to close the door.
- God brought one a Pastor Sam.
So, tell me. How do you argue with a seven-year-old, autistic child who has enough faith to believe God will provide? *Sigh*
You do not.
We expect the release of her first album about 1730.