Not Wrapped Too Tightly

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Welcome to M3 Friday Follies!

This week’s Friday Follies is both foreign and domestic. By that, I mean, the crazies are both garden variety and exotic. I am going to leave it to you to decide which one is which. Please, do not consider the countries of origin as a determining factor as to the level of lunacy required for hatemail.

I am part of the team.

The hatemail coming from Montana was very revealing as to the social activities offered. Most of the M3 Readers absorbed the environmental nature of The Green Mailbox without my coming right out and saying it by reading the title and the teaser. Greg, on the other hand, missed the point.

I get sale mail because the companys value my opinion. They need people like me to buy their products so they know they have something worth bying. If they did not send this to me how would they know they are doing it right.”

Without him, they would never sell a thing.

Apparently, Greg thought I was trying to bankrupt all of the companies for which he is a personal test marketer, code named Occupant. Since he disbelieves the 2% return on direct mail, I thought I may as well have a little fun.

Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms. Greg,

In a continued effort to gauge the success of the M3 Blog, we are seeking your direct input. Please rate the following and let us know if we are doing a good job.

On a scale from 1 to 5, please state whether you agree or disagree with the following statements:

  1. Totally Disagree
  2. Somewhat Disagree
  3. Neither Agree nor Disagree
  4. Somewhat Agree
  5. Totally Agree

The M3 Blog is where I go for all my information.
The M3 Blog is a great source of humor and entertainment.
The M3 Blog is balanced and unbiased.
The M3 Blog hosts great guests.
I would refer my friends to the M3 Blog.
I would refer my family to the M3 Blog.

Your answers are very important to us. The M3 Blog thanks you for your participation. Be sure to follow the M3 Blog via the email subscription button to ensure you never miss a post.

Sincerely,

Marketing Research Department
Momma’s Money Matters

I certainly hope the irony is not lost on you: Greg scored M3 a 4.8.

Jumping the Gun?

For every stalker and troll there are around 500 well-meaning people who grow close to bloggers and Internet personalities. There is a one-to-one ratio of trolls to knights.

No, I am not discriminating. Knights are not always men, as in the case of Svetlana from Ontario. She writes to me in a bit of a snit, however, over the post I have been mugged. Like the majority of M3 Readers, as the account of my Saturday afternoon unfolded, she was worried about my well-being and the safety of me, Bear and the brood.

While there were many emails congratulating me on the post, Svetlana’s stood out because her knightly reaction was different from those who read to the end before acting. Honestly, she did not get past the last line of the first paragraph:

Before I got down to the place where you posted the sketch of your attacker, I was already on the phone with the RCMP and now they think I am a nutjob. I was asking them to contact your American authorities or the CAI or whoever handles that sort of thing there.”

I am sure they are going to rush right over...

I thought only Americans were confused about who does what in our country. Glad to know it spans borders.

Brain Chemistry or Surgery?

In our ongoing quest for identity on M3, we brought some of our childhoods out into the open on this week’s Talk Tuesday. Comments came from around the around the globe about elementary school experiences with bullying and the group speculated on ways to combat the juvenile plague.

After hours of stimulating conversation with reasonable adults seeking a better solution for their grand/children and other young family members, the hatemail I got from Paolo in Brazil made me shake my head and wonder what really is in the coffee:

Why do you even bother to ask this? Everyone knows you repress all of the memories of childhood till something bad happens when you are grown. Then, you dont remember it right. You only remeber what the therapist asks you. It is all bogus. You only use 10% of your brain and you cannot possible remeber everthing. That is why you cannot remeber bad things from being a kid.”

Always the helpful, albeit snarky, wench, I shot back an email to boost his brain capacity and the economy:

Paolo,

Do you think Paolo's is this full?

Thank you for the interesting facts. It seems a natural herb of your country is a great resource for memory. Ginkgo biloba is touted as a natural defense against memory loss. While the jury is still out on whether or not it can sharpen your memory to unlock repressed memories, many are sure it is the cure for the forgetful moments in life.

It is safest as a pill, since you should not trust it in the wild unless you are a herbologist. The pamphlet I read says it is harmful to smoke it. Just be sure you do not mix it with other herbs…especially the ones we all know cause memory loss!”

Waking the Dead

Since the very first poem posted on M3, I have been comfortable in the fact someone would get something far removed from the original intent of nearly every poem I write. This week’s Muse for Monday was no different. The Way garnered comments stating the M3 Reader’s view of what the way was to them.

I have to wonder if Terry from Vermont is related to Misti of Nevada. Terry reveals precisely how supernatural The Way really is and how it speaks to him/her.

Oh man this is fricken awesome! …Everyone wants to overlook how kind and helpful they can be cuz they are all to busy being scared of them. If they would only look at them as having the same desires as the livign. That is all they want anyway. Jus to have a place to rest and be happy in eternity. Its not there fault they’re stuck here.”

Have you figured out what Terry means? See if my response sheds a little light on the subject.

I know what you mean. The embalmers in this country are the worst. The moment the body is dead, they want to hurry and toss it in the ground. If they would take the time to remove the brain and the heart and do the job right, there would be more of them around so science could study them. People feel safer when a doctor signs off on things.”

Still have not guessed it? Terry is convinced my closet does not hold skeletons. It holds mummies!

~~~~~~~~~~

I hope your week has been filled with good memories and free of hatemail, intelligence agencies, sales surveys and mummies. Vote if you have not already! Thank you for joining in M3 Friday Follies, bringing you hatemail from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere! Have a great weekend!

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2012
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50 Comments

  1. Great post and funny as hell. Do you really get mail and comments like this? Mine have all be sane so far…lol.

    Now, I’m not sure what to do with this voting, but it seems that you want us to categorize these 4 things into garden variety or exotic?

    Part of the Team and Brain Chemistry – Garden Variety Idiots.
    Jumping the Gun and Waking the Dead – Both fruitcakes – Exotic.

    Reply
    • LOL! I love the assessment! I mean the poll. I run polls for around a week. They become posts eventually…when I remember or someone wants to know why I asked in the first place.

      I poll people IRL and add them to the M3 answers before I post. It can be quite interesting. The IRL people are not answering the same way as the M3 Readers are…not a big surprise to me. Just another episode of my brain picking activity.

      And yes, I get these wackos every stinking week. Check out the one about Misti from Waking The Dead. Tooooooooooo funny!
      Red.

      Reply
  2. I figure it just goes to show how thick some people are but then again it does take all sorts to make up a world… Luckily, so far I have had very few of these meandering hectors on my Space but they do add a certain spice to one’s postings nonetheless, of course one could simply delete their comments or leave them intact for everyone else to fathom, if that is possible of course as some of the comments are at best bizarre and at worst just plain bonkers…

    I do like the way in which you portray these wayward comments too and instead of letting them phase you, they are integrated into your next posting that offers a wider understanding of said loons, which is a very healthy response I think…

    You know, some Spaces are lost due to these types of random comments and that is a real shame I think, so the clear message here is to stand firm, kick ass and show them up for what they truly are…

    And Red, you have done exactly
    that my great friend so well done 🙂

    I like it 🙂 😉

    Androgoth XXx

    Reply
  3. Do you get replies to your replies, and are they of the same caliber?

    Reply
    • Unfortunately, I do. I haven’t enough of them to constitute a whole post, as most slink away from the salt I pour on their slug exteriors. I do have one woman who knows her comments will not get past the spam net…ever. She stays in the inbox. She has made two appearances in the Friday Follies, though. Her name is Elaine. Check out All Fake. The link to her original brilliance is in the post.
      Red.

      Reply
  4. Where do you suppose the weekly wierd wacklos come from? Are they swamp people, or just a group that sit around and wait to take turns to make senseless, stupid, stunned comments to end their week?

    OK, the devil made me do it.

    Reply
    • They often crawl out of the sewer but then again I have seen a few hopping around in the graveyard of an evening… But no worries in there as there is always a spade handy 🙂 Just kidding my friend…

      Androgoth

      Reply
    • I have come to believe they are all related somehow…or should be by marriage. I had one argue with me this week she was actually an American and she was convinced I was a Google Translate Indian. Yeah. Me! Who knows?
      Red.

      Reply
      • Well I hope whoever it is doesn’t end up wearing the El Guapo fashion trend of 2012… Now what was it that I saw somewhere recently? Ah yes… A revelation about wearing ‘Big-Girl Panties’ nonetheless, now what about that for a riveting reveal Red? 🙂 lol

        Sorry El Guapo but you did say so…

        Androgoth XXx

        Reply
      • Yes El Guapo an
        interesting choice…
        I think? 🙂 lol

        I will have to call into
        your Space my friend…

        Androgoth

        Reply
      • Red I am bringing
        the Zombies too 🙂 😉 lol

        Androgoth XXx

        Reply
      • Wait a second– Now I see. These are the same people who you had your deep blogging discussion with. Your attempt at making South Carolina appealing isn’t working too well. Although, it sounds to me like there are many exciting places to visit, if you are willing to go underground and talk to the animals.

        Reply
        • If the manhole cover weren’t so heavy, there could be an endless conversation. If you can abide that many monosyllabic words…

          Reply
  5. Um, do you want some of mine Red? I have plenty.

    Reply
  6. authormjlogan

     /  February 24, 2012

    So then if you have mummies in your closet, why is the blog named momma’s money matters?

    Shouldn’t it be mummies money matters? or is that mummy’s? but if you have more than one…

    Reply
  7. That comment about the mugging left me speechless, really. I wish we had a recording of that phone call.

    Reply
    • I am rarely speechless. Unless you count laughing uncontrollably until I could hardly breathe…in which case, yes, I was speechless, too.
      Red.

      Reply
  8. Those purple/blue skeleton-feet tell the true story about those Red-ucational shoes. The truth always comes out. Advise your closet-hiders to seek a podiatrist immediately. “:)

    Reply
  9. Hehe poor Paulo is limited by using only 1% of his 10% brain potential! I love the spelling and grammar mistakes by the way hehe

    Reply
    • I always do, too. Trust me. When I first started this, I attempted to type them in…my inner editor flubbed at being repressed. These days, I have to copy and paste NOT to correct them 😉

      Reply
  10. I forget who I am ( must have forgotten the Ginko)

     /  February 25, 2012

    Is it the endless chapter of ” How the Wheel Turns”. Still the addage of “It takes all Kinds to make the world go Round” still is in use today. Memories of good and bad do come back to you at the strangest times. Usually there is a trigger. Skeletons or Mummies now that’s a thought. Need to clean that closest some day. Hate not knowing what is going to jump out at me. Just Keep in mind Laughter is good medicine. Just think You may owe them for the extension of years on your life 😉 <3

    Reply

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