Clyde on Grammar

His skepticism is due in large part by the systematic assassination of the languages humans use to communicate. Social media, blogging and text messaging have been hung with the largest portion of the blame for horrific grammar. Clyde thinks the blame is misplaced.

Clyde thinks Rita, er, Tiffany is right. One person in the conversation is speaking about avocados and the other is talking about sock lint futures. Clyde stopped to talk to the market analyst, especially since he was partial to Miss Piggy’s position.

When someone is orating in a broken form of the language, the listener is likely to tune out or into a different channel. Eventually, some breach of grammar will stun the listener into incredulity, which is when the inner Grammar Nazi’s eye begins to twitch. For those without a filter between brain and mouth, it is when grammarians question whether the speaker’s parents were lupine.

Why would anyone ask that? Simply put, we imitate the speech we hear.

In the beginning…

During infancy and early childhood, humans mimic the elders in their lives. In adolescence, they mimic their peers. Herein, is the first fundamental breakdown of the language.

The rebellious nature of teenagerdom compounds the already present hereditary grammatical assassination. Teen takes the mistakes of the prior generation and amplifies them while creating and copying new maladaptive language with and from other teens. Since teenagers most often imitate their toddlerhood, they often develop an older version of “twin language”. It bears such horrors:

  • Words used intentionally incorrectly
  • Mispronunciation
  • Mispronunciation which muddles definition (pun effect)
  • Incorrect sentence structure
  • Pidgin words
  • Oppositional words and phrases (bad = good)

Then, adulthood happens.

Growing Up

Holding onto the bastions of teen language is part bad behavior. The remaining part is either ignorance or stupidity. Do not get those knickers in a knot.

Ignorance is merely the absence of an opportunity to learn. In short, not knowing any better is not the person’s fault. With that said…

Stupidity definition

Since it is a conscious choice to know better and do otherwise, it stands to reason.

There simply is no cure for stupid.

There simply is no cure for stupid.

The only help is rehabilitation. Yes, the habilitation of poor grammar is a habit which needs to be broken. The only way for the process to begin is for listeners to stop and ask if what they heard was correct. How can we keep the ignorant in the dark? We have the power to give them an opportunity to learn; it is up to them to take it or turn it down.

Right turn, Clyde.

Right turn, Clyde.

Clyde likes his sign language. No grammar issues.

Be part of the solution. Ignoring text-speak and idiomatic speech is not solving the problems causing Grammar Nazi eye twitching the world over.It is possible to be nice in framing the declaration by using questions without shame. The sooner we intervene, the sooner we all benefit.

Hashtags: #grammar #communication #help

Do you know someone who systematically assassinates the language? When was the last time you noticed bad language instead of engaging your inner translator? Do you say something about it?

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  1. laurie

     /  August 6, 2016

    My inner translator is broken. I turn the sound off.

  2. Yes, damn it; some of them are related to me.

    The translator is always on, but, I notice it anyway; my Nazi hangs out on top.

    Whether I say anything depends on the social niceties I’m in the mood to observe; I’m happy to report such weakness doesn’t occur often.



    • Giggles. I would imagine little weakness seeps through. Mine is an every day every day every day battle. As you well know. xxx

  3. I don’t like to admit it, but I think grammar is a lost cause. As the older generation retires, I don’t think many young people care, or even know the difference. I hope I’m wrong.
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    • I sincerely hope you are. I know I have been training my children to keep it alive. Fortunately, I have OCD on my side.

    • Unfortunately, you are right. Only us old sticklers for grammar that made sense rather than nonsense know the difference today. Yesterday at our local writers’ meeting, someone asked why the world is in such a mess. My response was Sesame Street, and the subversives behind it. I should have added MTV, and the ignorance of far too many teachers over the last 40 years. And the deaths of the staunch Grammar Watchdogs like Buckley, Saffire, and the other guy….whose name slips my muddled mind.


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