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    Red Dwyer - Author

    Red Dwyer’s Killing us Softly is a monumental book of heartfelt and practical advice for getting through and surviving the onslaught of cancer and death of a spouse.
    With the use of real time journal entries and blog posts, the author reaches out to readers in a unique way to guide them through all the emotions, responsibilities, and processes of being the caretaker of a marriage partner.
    Self-care and the care of the children are her primary focus, as she becomes the sole head of household and cup of love for her dying spouse and surviving family of nine children, three of whom are autistic.
    The book is supremely well-balanced in a way that has never been offered to the public before. The journal entries and blog posts draw us into her intimate life as she grieves privately yet exhibits her strength throughout and beyond the dying process. The focus is on helping the reader maneuver through the seemingly herculean feats of love and physical care which are assigned to the surviving spouse once the diagnosis of cancer is definite.
    From discussion on diagnosis and decisions to be made, through treatment and endgame, Red Dwyer holds our hand and shares with us her advice for not only surviving but also claiming our lives as we traverse this difficult and often hidden journey. She discusses the role of spirituality in the lives of the caretaking spouses, and the details of cancer treatment as a partner in the comfort of her loved one.
    Almost all of us are faced with treatment options at end of life, and many of us don’t face them until we are feeble and sick and not entirely in a place to make those decisions. While cancer has specific decisions to be made, Dwyer discusses the choices we all make when faced with extended treatment of a terminal illness or allowing nature to take its course.
    From diagnosis to hospice care, endgame and beyond, this author will be ultimately helpful to millions, who before this point have persevered and survived in silence.

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    So, I have a question... What made you? I bet your answer will be longer than you expect. mommasmoneymatters.com/what-made-you/ ... See MoreSee Less

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    • I have more than 5,000 contacts. I have more than 5,000 contacts. Do read the comments! The poetry can be interpreted so many ways. I love the originality and the differing views everyone can get from it. The interference of the mirages is an excellent way of looking at this one. I hope you have had a restful weekend, Lauren <3 xxx August 12, 2012 21:11
  • Helping Keep the Power On

  • And Now For Something Completely Different.

Muse for Monday

MantraHave you ever seen a mirage? The oases of our lives take many different forms. Sometimes, they are the manifestations of our dreams. Other times, they are the victory of everyday life. Occasionally, they are respite from the tasks at which we toil.

Mantra was fascinated by the task of a camel charged with carrying a prince across the desert to an oasis. She is like any other camel carrying royal cargo across the hot sand. As you read about her journey, think about who she is and who she carries. See if you can see the relationship between them in your own life.

Desert is a journey in a place where we may not be willing to vacation.


Across the sands of time she strides.
Sun pouring over her, a cascade of heat.
The oasis is off in the distance.
How long since she’s had a drink?

Atop her a bejeweled litter rides.
She carries special cargo for trade.
“So special the one must be
To warrant such a long trip,” she thinks.

Beneath her toes the sand deceptively
pretends its grains are snowflakes
spread into drifts by the whipping wind.
“Is the oasis moving away?”

To quench her thirst she steps quickly.
The litter pitches on her sway’s crest.
From inside a young man falls to the sand.
He sputters, looks at the sky, begging, “Why today?”

His robe flows freely, sparkling in the sun.
He kicks it away as she kneels down.
As he climbs back inside, she nips at his sleeve.
Scolding her, “Get us there. We shall both drink.”

He points toward the western horizon.
She follows his arm and sees the oasis,
Further away than before he fell.
Trying to stand in the dune, her feet sink.

She begins to panic, but gets on her way.
She must be tired to see the oasis move.
From inside the litter a whip cracks
Across her neck. She cringes beneath it.

What did she do to make him act this way?
Inside the litter, he kneels with his knees
Sharp against her hump, reverent to pray.
How long since she’d heard a prayer?

“Bring me swiftly to this end of my days.
Let me rest in shade beside cool water.”
She realized only then, she’d walk for eternity.
For a mere camel could never take him there.

(c) Red Dwyer


Where (or what) is the desert? What does his cruelty symbolize? If the camel were a person, who would she be?

(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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  1. I have been the camel in my lifetime, and recognize the prince. More often lately I feel like the mirage. It sometimes feels that no matter how honestly I present myself, how direct I am, that others see some kind of idealized version of me to fit their own needs.
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Poem – My Future Speaks to MeMy Profile

    • Very striking interpretation, Gail. I think to some degree, everyone sees us with an ulterior motive. Very rare are those who have such inherent altruism to see us for what we are rather than what we have on offer. xxx

  2. I can’t help but read your other comments, Red, and without being repetitious, I tend to echo Soma’s perspective…also viewing the oasis as our dreams and goals we’re working towards, not letting the mirages interfere…wonderful thought provoking poem, Red~xx
    LScott recently posted..If You BelieveMy Profile

    • Do read the comments! The poetry can be interpreted so many ways. I love the originality and the differing views everyone can get from it. The interference of the mirages is an excellent way of looking at this one. I hope you have had a restful weekend, Lauren <3 xxx

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