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    Red Dwyer - Author

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    This seems like a great way to round of our posts yesterday - how many of these names do you recognize? Image by Megan Lee Studio. • Mary Anning was a British fossil collector and paleontologist. ...

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    Red Dwyer’s Killing us Softly is a monumental book of heartfelt and practical advice for getting through and surviving the onslaught of cancer and death of a spouse.
    With the use of real time journal entries and blog posts, the author reaches out to readers in a unique way to guide them through all the emotions, responsibilities, and processes of being the caretaker of a marriage partner.
    Self-care and the care of the children are her primary focus, as she becomes the sole head of household and cup of love for her dying spouse and surviving family of nine children, three of whom are autistic.
    The book is supremely well-balanced in a way that has never been offered to the public before. The journal entries and blog posts draw us into her intimate life as she grieves privately yet exhibits her strength throughout and beyond the dying process. The focus is on helping the reader maneuver through the seemingly herculean feats of love and physical care which are assigned to the surviving spouse once the diagnosis of cancer is definite.
    From discussion on diagnosis and decisions to be made, through treatment and endgame, Red Dwyer holds our hand and shares with us her advice for not only surviving but also claiming our lives as we traverse this difficult and often hidden journey. She discusses the role of spirituality in the lives of the caretaking spouses, and the details of cancer treatment as a partner in the comfort of her loved one.
    Almost all of us are faced with treatment options at end of life, and many of us don’t face them until we are feeble and sick and not entirely in a place to make those decisions. While cancer has specific decisions to be made, Dwyer discusses the choices we all make when faced with extended treatment of a terminal illness or allowing nature to take its course.
    From diagnosis to hospice care, endgame and beyond, this author will be ultimately helpful to millions, who before this point have persevered and survived in silence.

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  • And Now For Something Completely Different.

Muse for Monday

Welcome the to first Muse for Monday since Mantra’s makeover! Many thanks to the wonderfully talented Lizzie of Running Naked with Scissors for Mantra’s new look. You will be seeing quite a few incarnations and moods for our little inspirational pixie.

Tonight, Mantra’s is giving us a look into a place we have all been at least once: Late. For some of us, tardiness is a way of life. Some of us are painfully punctual. Both groups fall prey to this sort of lateness at least once in our lives.

Have you ever completely forgotten something which was desperately important to someone else? Realized ten minutes before you were supposed to be somewhere on the other side of town you were not dressed for the occasion and would have to go home to change? Or wear your credit card out to change in a fitting room?

Have you ever missed it entirely?

You’re Late is quite an accusatory title, even for a poem. Shall we take a look at who is late and what happens?

You’re Late

Your lids are heavy.
The tired is to the bone.
Life is making you weary.

You come through the door.
An obligatory smile.
Giving the least- nothing more.

You wave off an advance
And head for the shower.
“Did you remember the dance?”

Stopped dead in your tracks
With your chin dropped to your chest,
You look down at wrinkled slacks.

A peek at your watch says eight.
How am I going to make up
For forgetting and being late?

Open up the bedroom door.
On the bed is your favorite shirt.
Your slippers are on the floor.

There’s no way I can wear that!
You don’t hear the door open.
But your bum feels a love pat.

“You didn’t think we’d go late?
Or do you want to get dressed
In those to face heads of state?”

You didn’t expect the snort,
But that’s all right, you see –
Mate is an affable sort.



Did you go into this poem forgetting who Mantra is? What was your initial reaction to the last stanza? Have you ever been the one who was late? Have you ever been Mate? What do you think of Mantra’s new look?

To be fair, this is Mantra’s main incarnation. Her more playful one will be revealed later. As was the way with the green vector fairy and the fantasy art which were Mantra’s incarnations before, her mood will be revealed in advance if you are one who likes to notice such things.

Let’s hear it for Lizzie for her rendition of Mantra. I know I love her new looks and hope you will enjoy discovering them over the next few weeks. (Yes, there are many!)

(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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  1. I am totally on time, all the time, virtually never late, and am typically and usually a fractal moment or two early.
    Here in the corner office our space/time continuum is of major importance and maintained in perfect condition; how else would we have alien comic-book covers designed or Gummy-bears ordered just in the nick of time?

    Punctuality is important for self-discipline. People who are eternally late are undisciplined, lackadaisical, and annoying; they are willfully indiscriminately wasting YOUR time AND MINE as well as their own.
    Great poem too, Red, it took 12.6 seconds to read it, but only took a second to like it. “:))
    raymond alexander kukkee recently posted..Garlic Capers: The Genuine Gusto of Garlic?My Profile

    • Glad you liked this one. It really is a self-discipline. Not only for time management, but for gauging priorities. Glad to see you this morning, Ray.

  2. Late… I don;t really need to answer that ..do I? It causes me much guilt and anxiety because for me it does not reflect the importance I put on the event or the person it is important to..meaning my lateness does not indicate my lack of care or concern… I was born late and will probably be late to my own funeral, I was for my wedding(s) .. it is a problem with the concept of time passage managing the time needed to get tasks complete and the best thing I have found is, if I can manage to get ready early to just go, if there is a deadline – make mine sooner…yes it is asking for allowances that I may not deserve but in return you will rarely hear me grumbe about anyone else being late, unless it is …doesn;t even matter what it is ..Iwill still allow for a couple of hours to pass before saying a word, and I just do not even assume that someone else’s lateness reflects the level of importance hold me at. That’s what gives me the most guilt after being enlightened to the meaning that is taken from being late.. I feel terrible but I do really really try… and I think that must have some bearing …. yes? please?

    I am tickled, just completely beyond words at Mantra’s new look.. she is art from my heart (not simply brainfart ) ear to ear grin and exuberating :-D all over every time I see her… you may get a lot of pop ins ..from me… for the next few days as a form of pinching myself to see if its real… thank you <3 Lotsa Love , Lizzie
    Lizzie Cracked recently posted..Pieces and Puzzles and Pieces of Puzzles, Mid-Afternoon Mental MomentMy Profile

    • There are many who set the personal deadlines in advance of real deadlines. That is a form of self-discipline. But it always leads me to the same question…if you can make your self-imposed deadline, what is it which keeps you from making the public deadline?

      And I love her new look. You did a fantastic job on her in the all of the incarnations. Much love, xxx

  3. I have to admit I tend to be half an hour early as a rule! :)

    I got into the habit when working and it kind of stuck… :)

    Love mate being an affable sort! :)

    MANTRA RULES!!! :)

    Love and hugs!


  4. If I made a commitment to be somewhere I’m usually on time or early. But if I happen to be late, I hate it and feel like whatever the reason was, is just an excuse to the person that was waiting.

    Hugs xx
    Deb recently posted..Shoreline StrollMy Profile

    • That is a very common reaction to being late. I have never been one for excuses and tend to agree with you. I hope you are having a lovely day, Deb. {HUGZ} xxx

  5. I hate being late and don’t like when others keep me waiting either. I’m a bit of a control freak and like to arrive a couple of minutes before it’s time.

    Love the poem and the new look.
    Tess Kann recently posted..Is It Too Late To Follow The Dream?My Profile

    • Thank you, Tess. There are going to be quite a few changes over the next two months ;) You, a control freak? Surely you jest! *giggles* Very glad to see you today.

  6. Being sick has made me late for everything this week, self-imposed and otherwise.

    I suck!!

    Honestly? The deadlines in my head are far worse than anything anyone can impose upon me and I punish myself constantly for missing them.

    I love Mantra!! As always I love you for putting our foibles in front of us.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..No Facts AllowedMy Profile

    • Deadlines just bite period. I know why we have them, but it does not make me like what they do to people. I tend to do better with the ones I impose, but only because I respect my own authority ;) *grins*

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