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    Red Dwyer - Author

    Red Dwyer’s Killing us Softly is a monumental book of heartfelt and practical advice for getting through and surviving the onslaught of cancer and death of a spouse.
    With the use of real time journal entries and blog posts, the author reaches out to readers in a unique way to guide them through all the emotions, responsibilities, and processes of being the caretaker of a marriage partner.
    Self-care and the care of the children are her primary focus, as she becomes the sole head of household and cup of love for her dying spouse and surviving family of nine children, three of whom are autistic.
    The book is supremely well-balanced in a way that has never been offered to the public before. The journal entries and blog posts draw us into her intimate life as she grieves privately yet exhibits her strength throughout and beyond the dying process. The focus is on helping the reader maneuver through the seemingly herculean feats of love and physical care which are assigned to the surviving spouse once the diagnosis of cancer is definite.
    From discussion on diagnosis and decisions to be made, through treatment and endgame, Red Dwyer holds our hand and shares with us her advice for not only surviving but also claiming our lives as we traverse this difficult and often hidden journey. She discusses the role of spirituality in the lives of the caretaking spouses, and the details of cancer treatment as a partner in the comfort of her loved one.
    Almost all of us are faced with treatment options at end of life, and many of us don’t face them until we are feeble and sick and not entirely in a place to make those decisions. While cancer has specific decisions to be made, Dwyer discusses the choices we all make when faced with extended treatment of a terminal illness or allowing nature to take its course.
    From diagnosis to hospice care, endgame and beyond, this author will be ultimately helpful to millions, who before this point have persevered and survived in silence.

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    So, I have a question... What made you? I bet your answer will be longer than you expect. mommasmoneymatters.com/what-made-you/ ... See MoreSee Less

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  • And Now For Something Completely Different.

Muse for Monday

Memories and nostalgia are the chills and the warm fuzzies which link us to our pasts. Both are triggered by any number of things: A smell, a sound, a song, the wind, places, cars….you get the idea. Anything can remind us of the people no longer in our lives. Let’s walk down the hall, shall we?

MantraMany of us take our photographs really seriously. We inherited the tradition of lining a hallway with the chain of events we recorded for posterity. Very few know the reason why the hall is important.

As the conduit which brings you from the public, social areas of the house to the intimate chambers, it is very traveled. It offers the opportunity for nostalgia each time we wake and when we go to bed. Both are very important times of the day when we are most likely to entertain the portions of our past which bring fond memories.

In The Hall, you will find how a certain picture captures the attention and sets off a chain of events which all tie to the photograph. It is the quietest part of the day. Listen to the theme song of everyday sounds.

The Hall

The dishes are done.
The laundry is folded.
All the animals have eaten.
In the other room, the box drones
Between odd ads and canned laughter.
The sweeping second hand jerks up
To tick off another minute.

Perfectly stoic
Standing in the hall,
Eyes linger in each of the frames.
First the old, then the newer ones.
Moments captured by the shutter.
Drawing closer, now to look up
At the one with us in it.

The grandfather clock's gotten slow...

The clock chimes the time.
It’s a touch past nine.
The grandfather clock’s gotten slow.
Forgotten are the weights and chains
Until bedtime comes without call.
In the robe and slippers to trudge
Into a moonlit room to wind it.

It is a long walk
Back to the chilled bedroom.
Snuggled under blankets and sheets,
Remembering the warmth they held,
Sought when you had stolen them all.
In those moments, its this picture
Recalled, with us together in it.

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer


Are you a photo album collector? Do you have the hallway full of framed photographs? What in your house reminds you the most of a time long past? Is Mate a cover hog?

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2012
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  1. Isn’t it strange, I have no hallways in my house and have always hated them. Perhaps this is the reason why.

    Well done, sad and telling.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Petition UpdateMy Profile

    • Red

       /  June 13, 2012

      The hall in this house is non-existent. I have always thought they were a waste of space, but am considering a rather long one in the next house on the second floor.

  2. Beautiful, Red.
    Although I’m not sure I ‘get’ the liking ‘photography’ thing. ;)
    HA! Was not expecting your last question (too funny). Although having your covers stolen is no laughing matter. Not that I would know, of course.
    spilledinkguy recently posted..Pop Art ArmorMy Profile

  3. Beautiful! Triggered memories of my childhood. Reminded me of the time when I, my dad, my mom, and my siblings lived in the big house of my grandparents which had spacious hallways. Had a lot of fun playing on those hallways… :-)
    Matt recently posted..Happy Birthday, Matthew!My Profile

    • How very fun! I am glad this one was good for you! And I hope you had a very happy birthday!

  4. Like the poem, Red. Ah, memories.
    We had no hallways in our house and few photos. Those we had we solomley put into albums and put away. Put away. Imagine that!
    Tess Kann recently posted..Whose Money is it by the Way?My Profile

    • Ugh. I have loads of albums, but they are constantly at a fingertip’s touch. We flip through them far more often than I allow a newspaper in the house.

  5. Funnily enough I like a hall in a house. Cools everything down and gives a sense of space. Bare halls though, no clutter. There you go – thought I would share that with you!


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