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    • I have more than 5,000 contacts. I have more than 5,000 contacts. raymond alexander kukkee commented on Momma's Money Matters: Red, congrats on your new book, and as you know, my friend, I observe constantly from the corner office, usually with my nose to the grindstone. That is what I do, increasingly and- I also tend to say what I think, avoiding political correctness, put the foot in the mouth, lack of mollycoddling as a child being painful or not, and admittedly I do miss a lot because of other time commitments, distractions, calls to have my ears pinned back and/or frontal lobes simultaneously removed, etc. Time often operates here at warp nine, but is slow compared to M3.... ":) Time is of the essence. We all suffer from lack of time, and it is getting worse. Your observations are correct, interest in some areas is lagging temporarily if not dropping off --for reasons that perhaps are three , too much, ie, are posts too long(?) or is it my limited attention span(?) or lack of focus(?) subject matter variegated, (yes, that is the correct term, recombinant complexity, directionality is like right turn, Clyde ) and methinks the overall effect of interconnected AND scheduled pages may or may not be helpful to continuity or 'ease of follow'. Perhaps it is me personally, bit by bit it seems more apparent I am always missing something IMPORTANT. "How can I possibly follow everything" becomes the relevant question. In short, bottom line, I find myself concluding, guessing, wondering "what" is being referred to, (am I really that slow??) or back-searching for something, since I clearly cannot read and digest every post or comment on them even though I REALLY wish to do so. Life is in "point form" at times by necessity. -Interestingly, fading or not, "Spotlight" is one of the features I enjoy most. - re. the last A-Z, I followed no theme, found it interesting, varied, challenging, good for meeting new writers -but time was definitely an issue. By the way, kudos for choosing the " check the box" verification method over increasingly idiotic 'captcha' mechanisms with splotchy, unreadable letters. -Mollycoddle kids in fantasy-land and leave them incapable of independent thought? Not on your life. Independent, thoughtful children grow up and thank you for teaching them how to think. Some advice eventually sinks in--as do admonishments--believe it or not. I had a child that said " Remember you told me blah blah blah ten years ago? you were right." ---and yes, more parents DO get it wrong than right. ~R September 2, 2012 22:55
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Saturday Evening Post

This has been a monumental week. This is going to be a short highlight reel and then Clyde is going to take the floor. Grab your cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. Isaac may have the power out, but the fans are running and keeping the mosquitoes at bay. Let’s talk.

Books

I cannot imagine there is a way to have missed the fact Mantra for a Muse was released this week, four days before schedule. A page where my books are available (and cheaper than everywhere else they are selling) was born.

MJ did a terrific interview of me. Be sure to enter to win an autographed copy. I am offering one for every 100 entries. And since you can enter a couple dozen times per day, I will probably be giving away a ton.

MFM got its first five star review on Amazon. My author page is finally live there as well. Unfortunately, it will take them up to a week to find and attach the book to my page. My other author page has the same issue.

UPDATE: Based on the number of entries to the book giveaway, I will be giving away one autographed copy per hundred entries. If you have already entered, enter again. Increase your odds. There are currently nearly 200 entries, now (Friday morning). I issued a challenge on Twitter and Linked In. I want to see if you and your networks can force me to give away five copies. I ordered them today. As of Saturday evening, I am giving away three as there are over 200 entries. You in?

2d UPDATE: For all book giveaways, beginning with this one, the top speaker will get a freebie entry into the drawing. Look at the bottom of the left sidebar and see if you are there. How do you get there? Comments. The more you talk, the more rewards come your way!

T3 is free until midnight PDT (GMT-8) on Amazon. Stop by and get a copy. I would love to see some reviews.

Killing Us Softly is moving along. It is not an easy book to write and has been moving slowly, but is over 15,000 words. There are another 10,000 words written, but they must be adapted. Early reviews revealed a different format was more reader friendly, thus the change has meant completely rewriting what had previously been written and scrapping a good portion of it.

Darkness Introduced is finished and nearly ready for press. At nearly 54,000 words, it is a novel addition to the erotica genre. A warning will issue with it: Intended for mature audiences only. Oh, and not the squeamish. To say it is graphic would be understated. My graphic artist and photographer are busy working on the cover art for it.

Flash in the Pan, Fall 2012 has 46 flashes in it!! There are still words which have no entries, and I would love to have a few more to the first words. I think it would be awesome to have five for each word. So far, the authors who have their profiles to me for the book are Prenin, Wendy, Laurie, Raymond. If you have written one, but have not sent me your bio, check your junk folder for my email or shoot me a line so I can send you what I need for your credit page.

Networking?

I need a show of hands who is on Pinterest and who is following Book Junkies. As most of you know, I am not on Pinterest. I am interested in networking with Pinterest, but not looking to open an account. Comment as to whether or not you think it is worthwhile and how one thinks marketing a book (or twenty) would work.

The networking the M3 Readers have been doing is paying off. M3 broke the 16,000 mark for Americans, is very close to the 3,000 mark for Brits (and other UK residents) and knocking on 1,500 Canadian viewers. Which leads me to the poll…

Stalking

If you would prefer to get email from Feedburner when posts go live (as opposed to waiting for the email which goes out at 2000 EDT), simply put your address in the Feedburner box in the left hand side bar. You can read in any reader or subscribe by email…or so they claim. If someone tells me it is broken, I will find a way to fix it.

Poll

As much as I appreciate the other responses laughing at the question, I am asking for a very important reason. It is anonymous unless you identify yourself in the other box.

One of the mainstays to M3′s traffic is the Writers Spotlight. Interest in it has dwindled to an abysmal level, as has the interest in three other features. Since the four most popular features are (in order) Saturday Evening Post/Friday Follies, Muse for Monday and MAD, I am considering changing something, but not willing to do it without valid input.

Gauging how much the M3 Readers like something around here is a complicated algorithm. It includes the variables of traffic (raw hits), comments (engagement), sharing (and engagement on the shares), ratings (stars and love button), hatemail generation (hitting a nerve) and how much my BlackBerry rings. Yes, there are still M3 Readers who call rather than comment. All of that is being weighed on which elements change around here.

One of the features I would like to introduce is a twice monthly guest post feature. The other one is not done brewing. It is something like the A to Z, but going to be a weekly instead of cramming it all into a month. Is anyone planning on doing A to Z next April?

Right Turn, Clyde!

One of the downsides of virtual living is the complete lack of information on the information highway. The personal information which goes missing is tremendous. No, I am not talking about the last four of your social or your credit card number or your grandmother’s maiden name. I am talking about the human interaction information which is lost.

Right turn, Clyde.

For example, one person reaches out to another in a friendly gesture and receives instant hatemail for it. You have seen it. A meme is posted on social media. Friends are tagged. It is all in camaraderie or fun. One person decides they are utterly offended by the gesture or what they misunderstood the meme to mean.

The torrent of hate speech which follows is fodder for the iggy bin and the delete and block buttons. Seems like a simple solution. Until you realize the fountain of the vitriol is the the child of the poster.

Adult?

A funny thing happens when children reach the age of majority. All the things we have told them are in the domain of Adults Only are now accessible. Once in their grasp, they are imbued with a sense of power which makes them drunk.

The illusion, which borders on delusion, is they have the abilities to judge anything in the moment it is provided them. In their naïveté, they assume age inherently brings the wisdom of their elders, the vision of the eyes in the back of the head and the right to judge events to which they were not party.

It may take them a lifetime, having children of their own or losing a parent to understand. Most often, it requires being hurt deeply to learn age did not infuse them with wisdom to avoid the pitfalls in the paths they chose.  The emotional (and sometimes physical) cataclysm is the source of I told you so, even though the words are never spoken. What is a parent to do?

Hope the child comes to some sense before a disaster strikes where the child should admit: >>>

Often, even after disaster strikes, and the parent comes to the rescue, the child will persist in trampling down a path headed for another fall. Despite the evidence the parent has persisted in doing things in the best interest of the child and offering the wisdom of (personal and observed) experience, the child insists its version of reality is the one and only truth.

This means:

  • Parental intervention on behalf of adult child is dismissed as obligation.
  • Questionable judgments of the parent’s past are judged without mitigation.
  • Parental success is overlooked or dismissed as happenstance.
  • Child dismisses all own indiscretions as youthful folly.
  • Parental advice is rebelled against as control.
  • All parental input is viewed as skewed, false, misleading or abusive.

What reality bares is all of the above are erroneous.

Conundrum

Children have no concept of the reasons parents tell them to do or not do certain things. Society blares examples of abusive behavior and conditions children to believe any measure of intervention is abusive control. In fact, the opposite is most often the truth. Entitlement sets in the moment parents label things Adults Only. Once the child is chronologically an adult, it is entitled to view or do what was forbidden in its minority.

Nowhere in the choice of age for majority is the itinerant observation of emotional maturity. Much of what parents shield from their children is the precise learning opportunity which produce wisdom. It is the poignant Catch-22. Without the traumas which would damage their childhood beyond repair, they cannot learn the life lessons to prevent situations which damage their adulthood to and beyond its breaking point.

In the end, parents hope they and their children live long enough to see the Mother’s Curse come to be fulfilled, when their children appreciate the sacrifice necessary to see children fail and blame it on those whose advice would have prevented it had they listened.

Until next time,
Red Signature


~~~~~~~~~~

Not only adult children make these types of judgments. When do we grow out of thinking the world is only the way we see it given the first information we receive? Did your parents get smarter as you aged?  If there is one thing you could tell your parent now, what would it be? Do more parents get it wrong than right?

Did you take the poll? Will you be doing A to Z in April?

(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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36 Comments

  1. Red, congrats on your new book, and as you know, my friend, I observe constantly from the corner office, usually with my nose to the grindstone. That is what I do, increasingly and- I also tend to say what I think, avoiding political correctness, put the foot in the mouth, lack of mollycoddling as a child being painful or not, and admittedly I do miss a lot because of other time commitments, distractions, calls to have my ears pinned back and/or frontal lobes simultaneously removed, etc. Time often operates here at warp nine, but is slow compared to M3…. “:)
    Time is of the essence. We all suffer from lack of time, and it is getting worse.
    Your observations are correct, interest in some areas is lagging temporarily if not dropping off –for reasons that perhaps are three , too much, ie, are posts too long(?) or is it my limited attention span(?) or lack of focus(?) subject matter variegated, (yes, that is the correct term, recombinant complexity, directionality is like right turn, Clyde ) and methinks the overall effect of interconnected AND scheduled pages may or may not be helpful to continuity or ‘ease of follow’.
    Perhaps it is me personally, bit by bit it seems more apparent I am always missing something IMPORTANT. “How can I possibly follow everything” becomes the relevant question.
    In short, bottom line, I find myself concluding, guessing, wondering “what” is being referred to, (am I really that slow??) or back-searching for something, since I clearly cannot read and digest every post or comment on them even though I REALLY wish to do so.
    Life is in “point form” at times by necessity.
    -Interestingly, fading or not, “Spotlight” is one of the features I enjoy most.
    – re. the last A-Z, I followed no theme, found it interesting, varied, challenging, good for meeting new writers -but time was definitely an issue.
    By the way, kudos for choosing the ” check the box” verification method over increasingly idiotic ‘captcha’ mechanisms with splotchy, unreadable letters.
    -Mollycoddle kids in fantasy-land and leave them incapable of independent thought? Not on your life. Independent, thoughtful children grow up and thank you for teaching them how to think. Some advice eventually sinks in–as do admonishments–believe it or not.
    I had a child that said ” Remember you told me blah blah blah ten years ago? you were right.”
    —and yes, more parents DO get it wrong than right.

    ~R
    raymond alexander kukkee recently posted..Flash Fiction: CheckMy Profile

    Reply
    • LOL. My daughter tells me the same thing, that I was right when I said so-and-so.

      Reply
    • M3 is the antithesis of all the norms for blogs. When the posts are short, no one bothers. The SEP, with the complete swerve from the point in midstream, is the number one feature. Clyde always brings something to the table which touches on life, whether we noticed it before or not. As to the interlinking, none of them are prerequisite to the topic at hand, but are for those who may have not been exposed to such subject matter…with the sole exception of poetry analysis, which necessarily demands the reading of the poem.

      I am acutely aware of the accelerated passage of time. I have more than 300 posts to catch up when I finish my “vacation”. Judging from the number of emails I sent to day, I can guarantee there are more than 500 reasons why I should have a clone to act in my stead whilst I am away ;)

      As to the parenting question, see my answer to MC.

      Reply
  2. I have found myself eating more than one piece of humble pie in the past 6 months as I have gotten to the point of complete beside myself worry and utter exasperation with my 19 yo daughter. It is not she who goes around claiming she is grown that is her very ungrown bf….. ug but all of a sudden any inquiry to things and how she is is a intrusion of her privacy and I am just being nosy. I have caught myself in the same harpy voice as my mother that I swore I would never do… no I still don;t think it is right or effective but I do now realize I brought a lot of that on myself.. I have no weird ideas about being grown, I have a long way to go.

    Lotsa Love
    Lizzie
    Lizzie Cracked recently posted..Magpie’s Treasure; The CreekMy Profile

    Reply
    • There are many parents who realize they did the same things their children are doing now, and their parents were right. (Mother’s curse)

      I am thoroughly convinced I will never be completely grown. <3 xxx

      Reply
  3. Congratulations, Red on the publication of your book. Whoo hoo.

    I’m one for ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’, the rod not meaning corporal punishment of archaic times. I’m about accountability for actions. Today’s parents are too engrossed, too lax, too busy to take the time (properly) to instill proper encouragement, discouragement as the action requires. It’s much easier and less taxing and time consuming to give in, give up, and stand up.
    Tess Kann recently posted..Ego Takes a HolidayMy Profile

    Reply
    • Would it surprise you to know the rod of Biblical times was not the rod they flogged prisoners with, but instead a palm frond? Yes, I know far too much about child discipline. I actually wrote the book on it ;)

      Reply

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