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Saturday Evening Post

A few quick M3 updates and a bit on MFM are lined up in front of Clyde, but we will get to him quickly. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. The moon is beautiful tonight.

Future Numbers

The numbers this week were mostly in the future. In other words, they will not hit the meters until September and October. The posts I have been working on are for then.

The derailing of this week due to problems with layout on MFM has all been corrected. M3 is heading back to the painstaking normalcy which has plagued it since day one.

MFM

Official Front Cover

An unexpected software deficiency led to cover art changes on MFM and to some minor changes inside the book. One of the drawbacks of digital publishing is the automatic compression which exists to aid the transmission of files by reducing size and thereby reducing server load. It is an inherent stone in the path.

What initially appeared to translate to a necessary censorship of creative license has prompted me to invent a new path to get around the deficiencies of receiving software. *wicked grin* I love it when I win.

This is the front cover. The back cover is being left as a complete surprise for those who buy the book.

Books

Two of Seven

In looking at different layout options to prevent future hangups with publishing books for others, I got a call from Val which (in pertinent part) said, Answer your friggin’ email. What she wanted was for me to test drive a new layout. I grabbed a draft, which will one day have no choice but go through layout as it is the second in a seven book series I am writing, and dropped it into her handy-dandy file manipulator.

No, that is not what we are going to discuss…What I discovered was I have a whole lot more written than I had originally believed. For some reason, my mental tracker had that book around 50 pages in…not so. Try 90. Yes, I got up and did the happy dance.

No, it does not mean I will be releasing it early. Book one is due for the Redmund launch. Book two is going to wait six months (April 2013). I will release them sooner only if there are enough sales to warrant moving the dates. Otherwise, this is planned as a three year series. No snickering about my long range planning in the back. Yes, you.

SIB

Most everyone noticed there were not Friday Follies from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere this week. It was a personal decision for me to only answer the condolences and the authors this week. Many thanks to all those who stopped in and a special shout out to the five of you who were party to Killing Us Softly. If this is a new title to you, it is the main title for the fourth book I am going to release (also at the Redmund launch).

More thanks to those who have stopped by the SIB to offer me ideas for future books. They are all in the hopper. What do you mean what does that mean? I have my book ideas in a spreadsheet. When it is time to write something new, Bear picks a number, and I have a new subject.

Winners & Entries

Bear and the number picking has produced a lot of winners. There are three poems on M3 and two in the MFM, which came as a result of his picking numbers. There have also been quite a few winners of free books. Binky brought up his chances of winning were relatively zero because he had not entered to win.

NEWSFLASH: I really do mail books out every week. If you do not enter, I cannot possibly send one to you. Bear cannot pick your number if you do not have one. But while you are at it, you may as well have far more than one. If you commented, all you have to do is press the “Do it” button…because you already have!

The Subscribe entries are not, I repeat NOT, just for new subscribers. If you are subscribed, you are entitled to five chances.

And answer the question. You know how I am about questions. What?

Redmund Productions

There are still a handful of spots left for books for the Redmund launch. Do you have a WIP you can whip before the end of September?

I am pleased at the quality of the books which have already been submitted. They are wonderful stories.

Over the moon is the best way to describe about how I feel about the building of the forum and the options we are adding to it. It is going to be a haven to work things out in your scripts and get positive feedback and true constructive criticism. Many, many thanks to everyone who is working to find all the missing parts to building the most positive experience for all of the authors.

Right Turn, Clyde!

Right turn, Clyde.

We have talked a bit about judging others and judging our own selves in preparation for the Tripping at the Finish Line series. Last week, Clyde said let all the bad press go. I agree entirely…until the bad press turns out to be good press.

Think about what makes good press. It is not all sunshine, unicorns and rainbows. It is truth.

So, what happens when the bad ink is right? What do we do when the rumors are not rumors?

One of my favorite pieces of bad press was put on every single job evaluation I have ever had. What do you think it was? Punctuality? Proficiency? Money handling? No, I got five stars on all of those. Still do not know?

Needs people skills.”

Yes, corporate America believed there was not much room in their world for calling a spade a spade. Ironically, it was my job to do just that. Even though I employed the sandwich method, there were plenty of times the sandwich had to be served open-faced because there was not two good things for me to sandwich all of the bad between.

Likewise, I absolutely refuse to use euphemisms. In my world, no one passes away or perishes: They die. People do not lose their jobs: They are fired, or they quit. Corporate people do not do their bestThey succeed, or they fail.  Euphemisms exist to take the blame off of those who are ultimately responsible or give credit where none is due.

All of those who ever complained about my abrasive talk (quoted from a performance review) were in various stages of getting fired. They were on probation for infractions or the target of an investigation which would end with them in either the unemployment line or handcuffs.

Each one of those evaluations always stated my subordinates enjoyed working with me. Yes, I worked with them. They did not work for me.

Bad vs. Good

Looking back, I still think the ink was good. No, I do not think I should have mollycoddled employees. No, I do not think I should have been using language considered kinder. No, I do not think it is appropriate to lie about failure or success. In all this negativity, where is the good?

What I learned was it was necessary to teach others being told something was wrong with their performance was not a character conviction. I learned I needed to let people know it was okay to fail. I had to let them know being perfect was not my expectation, but doing the job well was.

Try this on for size.

There is no shame in failure. From it, you learn what not to do.” ~ Red Dwyer

I can readily name a few dozen things I have done wrong in the last five days. I can even name something I did wrong in the last five minutes. My life is not compromised by the fact I am not perfect. I am not any less because someone pointed out others were not accustomed to the truth stapled between their eyes where they could not avoid it, despite my stapling abilities.

Compliments of Androgoth

Needs people skills is a constant battle for me in the traditional sense. I have alienated entire populations based on my ability to walk into a foreign situation and immediately point out its dysfunction. Ultimately, it has always led to those people attempting to crawl through my past to point out I had skeletons in various states of decomposure: not necessarily out on display, but certainly not buried in a closet or crypt.

What is the difference?

My bad ink is nothing more than a validation of how I got to where I am now. It was always a learning experience. It is a testament to the will to continue to learn.

How about the bad ink I put out myself? My spade calling is not a matter of judgment to make me perceive myself as superior, but instead, is my attempt to help others find a better path than the one upon which they currently stumble.

Bad ink is only negative if it is untrue. When bad ink is true, it is an opportunity to change and grow. I will always be for personal growth.

Until next time,

Red Signature

~~~~~~~~~~

Why do we get our feelings hurt when someone points out we are wrong? How do we find out when we are not doing things the easiest way? Have you ever looked at bad ink as a way to become better?

(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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22 Comments

  1. Hey Red, Vibed as ever :)

    You’re such a great strong force moving & shaking as you do.

    I like the no. 7, second to 3.

    Re your call for more books. You know, I once wrote each and every of my sexual experiences (that involved intercourse) and each is a chapter. I did it not for therapy & not to count the number of men I’ve had (or who had me, ha), but because:

    It has always fascinated me, and still does, that when you are with a man you can give-&-take so beautifully; whereas other times, they just TAKE; whereas other times, you surrender (but without wish to be with them).

    See, sex to me is interesting, in that it can be so wonderful an experience, or so cold and horrible an experience, and it’s who we are at the time – damaged, in love, without boundaries – which unfold the experience.

    It is called ‘All My Men’ and I haven’t looked at it since I wrote it about 18 months ago. It was just “an exercise” I took to for a while. Never thought to publish it, but, well, I actually think many women could relate to what I’m actually SAYING.

    Let me know what you think (as in: appropriate?) It is NOT erotica, it is NOT pornography, it is NOT sexual details; but the experience (emotional) of having sex with X, Y, A.

    Just puttin’ it out there…(I mean, you’d have noticed I’m not ashamed of who I am/what I’ve lived & not inclined to censor myself, so I’m not shy to put it out there, just never thought there’d be a “taker”. Wont’ be offended if you say inappropriate, either :) )

    N.
    Noeleen recently posted..You say ‘potatO’; I say ‘Frontal Lobotomy’My Profile

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  2. But I like sunshine, unicorns and rainbows!

    Many people do not really want honest criticism. It can be difficult for some to realize that they’re not perfect.

    Reply
  3. I finally found someone who can tell me I am wrong and I don’t get my feelings hurt. I also let them show me the easier way. Bad ink always hurts, though, and I haven’t learned how to let others talk and be on their way while still maintaining my own sense of well-being. I know I disappoint, I know I am not perfect, but being targeted by a group is difficult when I have some kind of investment in my truth. I write memoir because it is my truth, as I know it, and in it I am free to expose all of my vulnerabilities and foibles as well as my strengths. It’s liberating. I also write poetry because I can play with language and feelings. Maybe I’ll get over bad ink when you publish my book, Red. I don’t know how you manage your equilibrium when you open the SIB!
    Kudos to you!
    xxxGail
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Poem – For Linda, Who Waits for MeMy Profile

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    • Pish tosh. The SIB is named appropriately. Stupidest. You cannot soar with eagles if you hang with turkeys. I am surrounded by creative and vibrant people. xxx

      Reply
  4. CAUTION! WORK IN PROGRESS!!! LoL!!!

    We all have things we could have done better.

    My weak spot is that it is hard to say no – not a word used in my father’s presence – and I often desperately seek approval from those around me.

    After what I’ve been through the past sixteen years, it has kind of improved that…

    Love and hugs my friend!

    Prenin.
    prenin recently posted..Saturday – writers block…My Profile

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  5. Um… I forgot the question. I was hung up there on Unicorns butterflies and ..oh never mind it wasn’t that it was sunshine and rainbows.

    I would guess a lot of reasons to consider that our feeling s get hurt – depends on the tome of voice – if it is said mockingly or in a derogatory way – like my mother .,,or if you are corrected publicly or privately and what kind thoughts you carry about perfectionism.. I know I am missing something .. oh how do we find an eaier way? Well I used to find out by my ex husband telling e I needed to change…if something I am doing is a common task and it is tedious I often think there must be an easier way no one would so it and then I look or I ask.
    I think – I still forgot something ?
    <3 Lizzie n hugs too :=-)
    Lizzie Cracked recently posted..Magpie’s Treasure; DeLight in This ChildMy Profile

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    • I love to find another way. Even if I find a more difficult way, it is different. Another lesson in what not to do. See my answer to Mystery Coach for the whole feelings hurt thing. Not sure why some people get so emotionally invested in jobs, especially wage earning jobs. I think it is very sad to be unable to separate ourselves from our professional success or failure.
      <3 xxx Hope you get back in your email one day…

      Reply
  6. We get into trouble when we’re younger by parents because we’re “wrong” which goes up through life to teachers, being graded and being wrong is something we try to avoid at all costs. Never mind ego and all the things that come with it.

    When I first got into coaching, someone critiqued something I had done on a website I had (remember it like it was yesterday) I had worked so hard on the content and someone critiqued it and I was very upset by it. After a while I realized that constructive suggestions are a good thing and that I was stuck on liking what I had done, after putting all that hard work into it, never mind the nonsense my step mother had put me through due to school work and it all collided neatly together in my head and I reacted to it.

    it’s like someone is saying we’re not doing good enough or we are not enough and that’s the farthest thing from the truth. Now, I’m cool with it. :) What I learned was to learn from people who were doing what I wanted to do and get my ego out of the way.

    I think once the emotional reaction wears off we can get quite a bit from being critiqued. We also have to realize that opinions are like a**h**es and everyone’s got one too.
    MysteryCoach recently posted..~ Empaths ~My Profile

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    • It requires judgment on our own part to discern the bellybutton opinions from the revelation of the truth about our own performances. I have known plenty of people I hated their work but desperately loved them. Where I think the problem lies is the failure to identify ourselves as more than the product of our accomplishments, and in some cases our failures.

      Reply
      • I’ve never met anyone who I’ve loved like that and didn’t like their work, whatever it was. I always viewed it from the perspective if that made them happy and they were moving on with it, good for them. I’ve never experienced it so I don’t know what to say.

        We’re more than what others think and say about us… Sure. Can you imagine, if all those people who invented incredible things listened to those who had an “opinion” about what they were doing? They certainly did not have that problem … they simply carried on and proved everyone else wrong. LOL ! Which, of course, I love. :)
        MysteryCoach recently posted..50 Things to Stop Doing ForeverMy Profile

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        • I have met many who were ill-suited to their attempts both morally and corporately. Choosing to execute action which belies one’s character in the misguided attempt to better one’s circumstances is far more common than you might imagine. Anyone who works against self-interest falls into the category.

          As the reigning queen of the raspberry, I love it, too.

          Reply
          • Oh, I see what you’re saying now. Yes, I’ve met them, you mean like the places I’ve worked. woof.

            Raspberry away woman! I prefer the bird and a big smile … but whatever works for you. Hahaha! Oh yah!
            MysteryCoach recently posted..New Military Honors; Via My NephewMy Profile

          • Right. It is the reason there is a proliferation in the coaching business of those who are providing service to those who are practicing varied levels of insanity in an attempt to have it all, when truly they have nothing.

          • I was referencing some law firms that I’ve dealt with myself.

            You’re talking about life coaching businesses? I’m sorry, you’re saying there’s an increase in that business working with those who … have nothing? Or the coaches themselves have nothing… I’m not clear the way you wrote it.
            MysteryCoach recently posted..New Military Honors; Via My NephewMy Profile

          • Proliferation of coaches to deal with the huge number of people who cannot understand why their careers stall (defeating own best interest) but the clients do not realize they are fighting to hold onto a job which is the self-defeat (have nothing for which to fight in the first place).

  7. Many of us identify too closely with out “work” Thus, when what we’ve done is looked at critically, we feel as if our personhood, our very being, is being attacked. Not so. What I have always kept in mind whether giving or receiving “performance reviews” is that none of what is said speaks to me me as a person, rather it evaluates my behavior, which may or may not be appropriate. Especially difficult for artists, writers, etc, since the works come from so deep in our souls – but our “products” are NOT US. To have a piece criticized, fairly or not, does NOT detract from me, it simply shows me what that one person thinks about what I did. I am still the same wonderful creature I always knew I was. Perhaps not as good at what I do, as I may have thought, but that is fine. We all need room for improvement.
    It’s just as hard to find the negative parts of the sandwich, sometimes, as it is the good parts. I like when that happens!!!
    have a blessed day, Red!!!

    HUGZ,

    :)
    BuddhaKat recently posted..fly fly away with a fractal flight of fancy…My Profile

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    • I like the all good sandwich…I personally have not had many of them, but when I get one it is really good. For me, bad ink is a way to gauge progress and get in touch with my humanity. Sometimes those we are to teach teach us a better way. I think it is integral to improvement to be able to listen to the message (even when we have to ignore the vehicle) there may be another way and judge for ourselves whether or not that way is best for us. :) {HUGZ}

      Reply
  8. I’m so surprised at your bad ink lol. I am a truth teller, so I get it. It’s true that people often equate failure (or the pointing out of them) as an all-or-nothingproposition. We all fail at times, and that’s ok. I had to learn that lesson myself. Angie. ;)
    Angela Young recently posted..It Is Ok To Say NoMy Profile

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