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    • I have more than 5,000 contacts. I have more than 5,000 contacts. Red of M3 commented on The M3 Blog: The trip was long but fulfilling in the end. They are my favorite kind. It was a bull-by-the-horns situation, and you know my affinity for bulls. ;) November 3, 2013 16:50
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Late Late Saturday Evening Post

For what has likely been one of the most event-packed weeks in recent memory, which is why this post is tardy, Β it is time to draw it to an end. Clyde is wondering something. The cool breeze is indicative of the best time of year. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. Let’s talk.

Truck

Chevrolet SilveradoMy truck is resting comfortably in the yard after a 1,100-mile turnaround. Cargo accepted and delivered in 18 hours. As tiring as it was, it is very rewarding to make the trip and have all of the passengers end up happier than when the trip began.

Meanwhile, I took a nap whilst everyone settled back into a much more docile environment.

Book

Due to the intermission I took this week, I was not here to approve the cover and interior of my new book. I made the executive decision to delay rather than rush and take the chance it was not correct. My thought was, no one is clamoring for this book in the first place. I can afford to wait for it to be completely correct before it goes live.

Look for it next week.

Right Turn, Clyde!

Humans have a tendency to cause each other anxiety without noticing they are doing it or the effects it has on others.

Right turn, Clyde.

Right turn, Clyde.

Clyde has heard Red tell more than a handful of people anxiety meds are misused. She firmly believes they should be crushed and sprinkled on the breakfast cereal of the person ticking off the person who holds the prescription. Since medicating others without their knowledge or consent is illegal, she has found a different solution.

Bad behavior is one of the major causes of anxiety. Sadly, the bad behavior does not cause stress for the badly behaved. Those who are witness to the bad behavior are the ones who fall prey to the anxiety, namely the stress caused by overriding one’s basic instinct to choke someone who desperately deserves it.

Since choking others is also illegal, the different solution is one which is apt.

Beethoven's 5th symphony.

The Music

Face it. If you do not say anything about the behavior which is ticking you off, driving you bats or irritating you more than an ant farm in your knickers, you are enabling the self-same behavior which is ticking you off, etc.

Since the bad behavior is committed by someone who obviously has not taken the first step, a shove in the right direction is in order. Knowledge is power. One of two things happens.

I Didn’t Know

If the person did not know what they were doing and/or saying was making your eye twitch, they may be remorseful and change their behavior just enough not to make you evaluate the creature comforts of prison.

Help them take the first step of admitting there is a problem. If they are amenable, help them correct said behavior. Feel free to recruit others to help with either the recovery or the identification. You may not be the only person who cannot stand this.

I Know

In the event the person knows what they do sets your teeth on edge and you say something, it is choice time. If they really do not want to continue increasing your psychiatric budget, they will cease the behavior or commit it outside your presence.

On the other side of the coin, they may convinced they are entitled to behave this way regardless of how it makes others feel. They have effectively hit the ball back into your court. Are you going to stand there?

Merrill Lynch Bull Manhattan Wall Street

Grab the Bull by the Horns!

Now, it is you who have the choices. You can exit their sphere. Excuse yourself and leave them to their own devices where they can no longer (annoy, disturb, anger) you. Stop taking their calls. Block their email. Drop them from social media. Be finished.

Or you can ram your head between the horns.

Behavior only changes when we want it to change. No one has the power to force someone to change the way they behave. If your irritant has no incentive or willingness to change, nothing will change. Walking out of someone’s life is occasionally impetus enough for them to want to change. If it is not, they are not invested enough to warrant our continued emotional investment.

Enter Ape

Why do we continue to butt heads with the bull instead of simply taking it by the horns and giving it a shake?

It is enough to make an ape wonder.

Until the next time the ape takes the reins, have a wonderful evening.

Red Signature


Is there a place in your life where you can minimize the stress of another’s bad behavior? Are you grabbing or butting?

Hashtags: #stressrelief #harmony

Thank you for sharing The M3 Blog with hashtags.

Β© Red Dwyer 2013
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
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Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.



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14 Comments

  1. These kinds of situations can be very frustrating at times when there is no easy solution.
    Binky recently posted..Happy Valley PicnicMy Profile

    Reply
    • I am not of that mind. I frequently take this bull by the horns and shake. In my experience, very few are willing to say “I know” and keep on. Most are willing to exit or not protest my exit. Either way, situation solved.

      Reply
  2. Hmmm… Given I have minimal social contact I don’t have this problem at the moment! πŸ™‚

    Sometimes the best thing we can do is walk away…

    Love and squishy hugs!

    Prenin.
    Prenin recently posted..Tuesday – Waiting for the call that never comes.My Profile

    Reply
  3. At times we find ourselves in situations which are not easily resolved. Walking away isn’t the best solution, standing there and taking it isn’t either. If these are the only two choices, finding a third is what you have to do. That third might be next to impossible given the personalities of those involved.

    Why do we take it? For love, for fear, for reasons we can’t even explain to ourselves let alone those who ask the question.

    Reply
    • To quote the sign in my kitchen, “You never know what you can do until you try to undo what you did.” In fact, neither choice is good in a lot of cases. We temper the badness with the fleeting joys or necessities we have not worked out on other scales. It requires a lot of investment emotionally to make a decision and stick to it. xxx

      Reply
  4. Much easier (where possible) to just drop them.
    Sometimes, sadly, the cost of that is too high.
    El Guapo recently posted..The Double Edge of TechnologyMy Profile

    Reply
  5. I totally agree, one must stand her ground and speak up as the other person may not even know he or she is annoying etc. I know this but cannot always do anything about it.
    For example, I live in the same house with my daughter and her family. Clarity sometimes creates uncomfortable situations. We have to live together; finding a middle round is sometimes impossible or has been once or twice. πŸ™‚
    Tess Kann recently posted..Flash in the Pan – TravelMy Profile

    Reply
    • I have been in situations where the irritant was a resident, namely a dependent. The walking away was neither feasible nor legal. In the end, it was a matter of finding the third path to the middle ground. Just because “stop doing that” is our path to not plucking out their eyeballs does not mean there is not another way to get there. It does require cooperation. xxx

      Reply
  6. The choice of what to do depends on the relationship to the person.

    Reply
  7. I guess the only solution for this kind of perpetual nuisance is to leave them to it, after all life is short enough without feeling anxious or irritated all the time πŸ™

    Ignoring them is one way of combatting bad behaviour, but that doesn’t solve the problem and so choices have to be made in order to escape such nonsense.

    Your trip must have really taken it out of you my sweet friend but the resulting happiness that was achieved was well worth your magnificent efforts πŸ™‚ What a lovely friend you are Red πŸ™‚

    Andro xxxx

    Reply
    • The trip was long but fulfilling in the end. They are my favorite kind. It was a bull-by-the-horns situation, and you know my affinity for bulls. πŸ˜‰

      Reply

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