For what has likely been one of the most event-packed weeks in recent memory, which is why this post is tardy, it is time to draw it to an end. Clyde is wondering something. The cool breeze is indicative of the best time of year. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. Let’s talk.
My truck is resting comfortably in the yard after a 1,100-mile turnaround. Cargo accepted and delivered in 18 hours. As tiring as it was, it is very rewarding to make the trip and have all of the passengers end up happier than when the trip began.
Meanwhile, I took a nap whilst everyone settled back into a much more docile environment.
Due to the intermission I took this week, I was not here to approve the cover and interior of my new book. I made the executive decision to delay rather than rush and take the chance it was not correct. My thought was, no one is clamoring for this book in the first place. I can afford to wait for it to be completely correct before it goes live.
Look for it next week.
Right Turn, Clyde!
Humans have a tendency to cause each other anxiety without noticing they are doing it or the effects it has on others.
Clyde has heard Red tell more than a handful of people anxiety meds are misused. She firmly believes they should be crushed and sprinkled on the breakfast cereal of the person ticking off the person who holds the prescription. Since medicating others without their knowledge or consent is illegal, she has found a different solution.
Bad behavior is one of the major causes of anxiety. Sadly, the bad behavior does not cause stress for the badly behaved. Those who are witness to the bad behavior are the ones who fall prey to the anxiety, namely the stress caused by overriding one’s basic instinct to choke someone who desperately deserves it.
Since choking others is also illegal, the different solution is one which is apt.
Face it. If you do not say anything about the behavior which is ticking you off, driving you bats or irritating you more than an ant farm in your knickers, you are enabling the self-same behavior which is ticking you off, etc.
Since the bad behavior is committed by someone who obviously has not taken the first step, a shove in the right direction is in order. Knowledge is power. One of two things happens.
I Didn’t Know
If the person did not know what they were doing and/or saying was making your eye twitch, they may be remorseful and change their behavior just enough not to make you evaluate the creature comforts of prison.
Help them take the first step of admitting there is a problem. If they are amenable, help them correct said behavior. Feel free to recruit others to help with either the recovery or the identification. You may not be the only person who cannot stand this.
In the event the person knows what they do sets your teeth on edge and you say something, it is choice time. If they really do not want to continue increasing your psychiatric budget, they will cease the behavior or commit it outside your presence.
On the other side of the coin, they may convinced they are entitled to behave this way regardless of how it makes others feel. They have effectively hit the ball back into your court. Are you going to stand there?
Grab the Bull by the Horns!
Now, it is you who have the choices. You can exit their sphere. Excuse yourself and leave them to their own devices where they can no longer (annoy, disturb, anger) you. Stop taking their calls. Block their email. Drop them from social media. Be finished.
Or you can ram your head between the horns.
Behavior only changes when we want it to change. No one has the power to force someone to change the way they behave. If your irritant has no incentive or willingness to change, nothing will change. Walking out of someone’s life is occasionally impetus enough for them to want to change. If it is not, they are not invested enough to warrant our continued emotional investment.
Why do we continue to butt heads with the bull instead of simply taking it by the horns and giving it a shake?
It is enough to make an ape wonder.
Until the next time the ape takes the reins, have a wonderful evening.
Is there a place in your life where you can minimize the stress of another’s bad behavior? Are you grabbing or butting?
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