Saturday Evening Post

It has been an überbusy week. With the big Frazier fir, Russian tea and sugar cookies, it is beginning to smell like Christmas, even with the air conditioner blowing. Clyde has a new host of questions. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. Let’s talk.

The M3 Blog

The schedule has been on its head. The upheaval, as with any change, has been uncomfortable. Not only does it tweak my OCD, but the M3 Readers were none too pleased either. Add to that more of you have been spending quality time shopping, and the net result is a mild drop in traffic, not unlike the trend from last year.

The Survey Says

Overall, I am not terrifically concerned, but I do have to ask some favors. The poll is closing tomorrow. I would like your input as to whether the Romantic Monday feature stays. A large number of you have commented on the idea of fiction being on M3 in the same vein you did when Story Time ran here. Hold onto that, as we are going to circle back to it.

Unless Romantic Monday gets a resounding vote to stay, it is over as of yesterday. Unlike Story Time, it is merely a writing exercise, with which I am not entirely comfortable as continued content on M3. I do not see a foreseeable time when I will be writing romance, as my erotica is not romantic and very, explicitly different from this type of thing.

Story Time, otherwise known as The Book with no Name, is still in the WIP folder with all the pages of outlines and character sketches in my portfolio. When it fell by the wayside, it was not shelved with an indeterminate date. It has a due date of 01JUN13, and will be either my seventh or eighth book. If you are not familiar with the cast, thumb through some of the excerpts. The next poll with be to name it.


Barring a catastrophe, Redmund is going to be uploaded and live this week. Frankly, although I love the Redmund lady, I am getting tired of seeing her on the front page. >>>

The content is still thin, but should be useful. I have been dashing to finish the pages for the authors who have all of their materials in the forum.

If you are in the fall FTP and have not submitted your materials, your page will not be live on RP. Please proceed to the forum welcome room for all the details.

If your trailer is not finished or even begun, please proceed to the WIP forum and into the trailers room. Follow the directions in the “All Authors” post.

Guest Posts & Blog Hops

Over the next two weeks, anyone who would like to guest post is invited to comment below or inbox me. I would love to bank around a dozen guest posts for December and January. I am taking off in January to recover.

Clyde has recently decided he would like to go on tour. After seeing some of the people along the Widowed Blog Hop and Romantic Monday, he has found a number of people who are interesting and whose brains are ripe. If you would like to host Clyde on a Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday, let me know. All participants will get recognition on Clyde’s new page. He is hosting his own blog hop.

Right Turn, Clyde!

Clyde ended up with glitter in his fur after the addition of a few dozen new ornaments and another Christmas tree to our home. Like any ape, he is interested in and distracted by the shiny things, but he had a question about puckering.

Humans have a rather perplexing practice during holidays. It seems, they lay down their arms to come together to enjoy holidays. It happens around the globe and is not relegated to any one particular holiday. Families, friends, neighbors, in-laws and even exes engage in it. Or do they?

A routine habit of adults is to blame festivities on the youngest generation. You have heard it. You may have even said it:

If it weren’t for the children,
I would have skipped all of this.

That can of glittery worms is better left for another day. Instead, Clyde is more interested in what we do than what we say.

Do you have a (sister, brother-in-law, Mate) who comes to a holiday party where the (host, guest of honor, celebrant) is a mortal enemy on every other day which ends in Y?

With a glass of holiday cheer, best wishes are toasted. Plastic grins with gritted teeth and squinted eyes mimic good-natured feelings. Buttock cheeks are held taut: not in an attempt it look better in velvet pants, but to stem the escape of the animosity roiling in the pit of the stomach.

Sarcasm is attempted and unfortunately falls far short of the humorous mark because it is nothing but very thinly veiled cruelty. Mingling becomes click forming. Whispers and giggles are mostly at another’s expense for tonight’s faux pas of the jewel-toned Argyle sweater vest or a cataclysmic ineptitude committed (days, months, decades) ago.

In the denouement of the party, air kisses and sorority hugs are given to the sending line with saccharine sweet good tidings.

The Ride Home

Even if clothing is not adjusted to relieve pressure, the voluminous explosion of epithets and expletives is frightening. Vows of never again being in the same hemisphere with the other person are sworn on the lives of everyone present at and absent from the gathering. Rhetorical questions about your acquiescence to and observation of behavior only befitting cloven-hoofed animals bounce off every surface.

With an arched eyebrow, resigned sigh or head tossed back, the endpoint of the tirade is, “Can you believe it?”

Enter Ape

Right turn, Clyde.

As a species, we gather in social groups for entertainment, in the pursuit of common interests and as familial units. All of these activities generate a sense of well-being. They foster our inner need to belong.

The question on Clyde’s mind is:

Why do we intentionally engage in activities we know are abhorrent under the guise of good will?

Rather than confront the person with whom we are (incompatible, disturbed, angry) before the function, we pretend to be “the bigger man” by laying the big guns on the welcome mat, despite having a machete in the top of our stocking. We snipe from a distance, plant the seeds of discontent in innocent others and burn up all of the good feeling of the gathering in the attempt to veil the feelings screamed by our body language.

Perhaps, we would be truer to ourselves and others if we settled matters ahead of time so these parties could be joyous occasions in celebration of the holiday at hand.  Alternatively, we could not pretend to be the amicable people we are not at any other time besides the holidays. Better still, barring all else, we could plainly stay home.

It makes an ape wonder why we are considered the more evolved species.

Until next time,

Red Signature

Why do we go to parties and pretend we do not despise other attendants? Who are we trying to appease by doing this? Would it be better to officially call a truce if we cannot resolve it in advance? Are you comfortable at parties where it is obvious two (or more) people are clearly feuding?

Have a wonderful weekend! Please take the poll.

© Red Dwyer 2012
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
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  1. As long as there is chocolate and baked goods, I’m happy. On the other hand, if less people came, there’d be more goodies for me. I’m all about sharing for the holidays.
    Binky recently posted..Cologne de StinkMy Profile

  2. OK I am relaxed enough thanks to the bottle of Arbor Mist White Zinfandel I just finished to answer this. I do simply stay home, I’m not going anywhere and pretending I can get along with people I’d rather run over with my car than look at. There are days when the only thing that keeps me from beating the crap out of some people is that fact that one of my children cares for them.

    Do the guests posts have to be the way you’d do them? I have a tendency to ramble…
    Laurie recently posted..Saturday’s PlansMy Profile

  3. Since I avoid people who stress me out, just visiting my God daughter’s family at Christmas is stressful enough!

    I haven’t had a family Christmas for over 26 years and have no intention of being under the same roof as my sperm donor, so I’m happy! 🙂

    Love and hugs!

    prenin recently posted..Saturday – Family News.My Profile

  4. Other than in-law visits when in the islands, I try to avoid them these days. I find I am no longer able to behave in socially acceptable ways when in social situations I am uncomfortable in. No Christmas parties for this chica.

    I don’t like drunks, I avoid them.
    I don’t like loud fools who talk out their nether regions, I avoid them.
    I don’t like fakes, I avoid them.

    I tend to not be very socially astute, I tend to tell people what I think. I make social missteps. I point out peoples azzhat ways.

    Why don’t people like me?

  5. Keep the Redmund Lady, just change her background to a lighter color, maybe?

    • Oh, she is not going anywhere, except to a different page. I am just being impatient. The colors of the new site are 1800s library colors: deep, rich, warm.

  6. I don’t go to parties where I don’t like anyone. For the holidays I have four people, warmly loved ones, and it is the best feeling to love and be loved. I don’t need the angst of even making a truce, it isn’t necessary in my lifestyle, and so I am happy!

    P.S. I have never seen the Redmund Lady at the site. I am using the earliest link which I bookmarked!
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Poem – SleepwalkerMy Profile

  7. Occasionally, people get together just to observe the niceties of the social contract…
    El Guapo recently posted..Friday Foolishness – Brand New Day EditionMy Profile

    • I seem to think we are talking about the same thing 😉 Great to see you tonight, Guap.

    • what cha been reading lately Guapman? ya know that kind of brought it back to a different angle and a better one at that.. and i think there may be an answer to the whys in the post.. if we examine the niceties of the social contract more in depth… are you sure that wasn;t the Victorians secret language for ..umm ya know.. niceties of other things? it sounds Victorian.. anyways …now i lost my train of thought.. yes a train my very own ..not bumper cars.. well now it is but ok.

      Lets say the gatherings started out and that is what they are indeed inteded for – to have fun and mingle and festiviate with out friends and people we enjoy spending time with – and add a reason to par – tay.. and yes.. there have been many a party i have been over exuberant to go to.. arent you glad you werent hosting it? 😀 someone thought – missing the whole point of ourse 0 the camaraderie and companionship probably because they were awful people – smug lets say.. and made it a sport.. then had a party and noone showed up so they made social rules that in essence had you committing social harikari if you did nt go to the right people party.. the part i find interesting and unfathomable is how did the party of the year to attend happen to be at the most undesirables house? I think people ate up the drama of the catfights and spats and secretly we all love it.. cept those of us who dont.. the aliens tried to give us a lot of really good standards and stuff that are excellent in theory.. but add the human element and its all mucked up.. the niceties of social contract – is the only reason i would attend a party from this point in my life… i refuse to show up to anything (exept dinner and only cause it keeps the peace kind of) out of obligation.. that is mmy new standard of measure – will i enjoy the niceties of social contract.. and that reminds me i have hope in the human race because there are many of us who would just get together to be together and enjoy each others company and it would not be about getting ahead or whose head to stop on on the ladder or who dresses better or anything but friends and family.. and i should probably make sure i know exactly what it means before i start putting it on rsvps… huh? i mean just in case it IS VIctorian and means uh.. what a hoot that woudl be if i sent out rsvps hahahha… never mind the mere sending of the rsvp – oh another comment for another post another day. 🙂
      Lizzie <3
      Lizzie Cracked recently posted..Bipolar Bytes; Decking the Halls and Turkey BallsMy Profile

  8. I’m so thrilled to see your post and the comments about parties. I love the ones with dear friends, but the office parties and acquaintance get-togethers seem tiring. I think the older I get, the more I guard my time.
    You, however, Red, I picture you a whirlwind of action in heels and silk and style.
    Barb recently posted..Well, Excuse Me, If I Wear White.My Profile

    • I adore a good party. The social spidering I could live without. Over the years, things have changed even after I became socially aware of the undercurrents. The parties seem more about “networking” than enjoyment. If I wanted to go to work, I would not have bothered to be in party gear <3

  9. Hi Red!

    I love how you write.

    I don’t want to go on and on and answer every one of your questions in depth (although they are all thought-provoking). But I can give some insight into: “Who are we trying to appease by doing this?”

    Just a small example…
    When I was growing up (still am), my father and brother would butt heads, constantly. Having two alpha males in the house didn’t really work for them, and when my brother moved out, everything was calm between them. Before that, however, he wasn’t old enough to move out, and the disputes and shouts continued, as well as the constant power struggle. Being the baby, and a girl, I was generally left out of the fray, while I watched my mother try to mediate and keep the peace.

    So, in answer to your question…I’d rather they never fought, or put up a super-fake polite front, just to take the pressure and stress off of my mother. Being the middleman has always been her job, it’s what she does. But they didn’t care, they decided to screw politeness and go at each other like two lions fighting over a pride. Lots of pride there, actually (pun absolutely intended).

    Who are we trying to appease by doing this? My mother. And other peacemakers.

    • Great to see you today, Esther. Do stop by the Green Room (the link is at the top) and leave a link to your blog.

      To me, I prefer the “settle it like men” attitude. Regardless of where it happens, there is some measure of peace reached. I worry for those who are always stuck in the middle. It is not their fight, and they are often the bystander who gets shot. xxx

  10. Relatives…the only people we do not have a choice in belonging to…
    Now that my mum has left the UK, we have the problem (on my side) of some not wanting to be at the others house..real silly stuff.
    When we do get together, they temporarily put aside differences and tread lightly around sensitive subjects.
    They use tv, movies, sports, talk of nieces, nephews, children etc. as a distraction/diversion to avoid resolving issues, whilst pretending there are no issues.
    We were not brought up that way, we were taught to resolve issues.
    I’m hosting again this year with the majority turning up, whilst the others ponder their move, to turn up or not to.
    I think people should sort out differences as soon as they can.
    If it needs to be done at party or gathering, so be it…but I would say that, as I firmly believe in resolution, even if it means verbal conflict has to initially proceed it.
    Lois’ siblings are another story in itself…
    Phil recently posted..You’re not my type.My Profile

    • So, what color is the elephant under your rug? LOL! I cannot stand the pretense of nothing is amiss. I would buy boxes of butterflies and sutures to get it out in the open. And outlaws in-laws are always a horse of another color. Always.


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