An idle mind often leads to an overactive mouth. “Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” ― Socrates
Over the course of my life, I have been the subject of many a luncheon, martini and laundromat meeting. Why? I have a life. Others, especially those who are lacking in one, are interested in the various and sundry activities in my everyday existence. Mainly, this is driven by the comparison between what I accomplish in a day versus what those others accomplish in a week. Most often, my list dwarfs the one beside it.
Some of the rumors are about the fuel in my tank: drugs, psychosis, sex, sugar, caffeine. Those are the most popular choices. Let’s see…
1. Caffeine does not affect me the way it does others. If you knew about me (other than what you make up to assuage your lack of self-worth), you would know how it does.
2. Sugar is laughable. I am hypoglycemic. Again, knowledge is power.
3. This is no one’s business but mine. Full stop.
4. My neurosis actually helps me organize better than yours. If you stopped watching reruns of Dr. Phil and Monk, you might learn something. You would be amazed how easily I answer questions.
5. I can pee in a cup. Can you?
But, I digress. You see,
Rather than be upset by the small-minded, inane, uninformed, uneducated drivel which falls from the lips of my detractors, I consider the source.
I can. You cannot.
Those who feel there is an unnatural cause for my energy level, organizational skills and productivity are often those who require three days notice to get vertical and dressed well enough to star in a WalMartians video and still do nothing more than feed themselves before EOB.
Their utter lack of initiative, ambition, desire, drive and fortitude means they will never accomplish anything in life which resembles fulfilling. If I had the capacity to pity, I might. Since these venom-spewing assumption artists are in no way giving me the warm fuzzies, I will pass.
I look damn good.
Those who feel my clothes, confident attitude, hooker shoes, perfume and gait are only present because I have an overwhelming compulsion to seduce men who were happy with what they had before they met me are in one of two groups. Around half of these people believe men have no willpower, are slaves to their libido and incapable of resisting sexual narcolepsy. The remaining nearly half are those whose jealousy and insecurity are hung on public display at all times.
No one has ever gotten taller by standing on another’s head. Still, these pathetic people drag around stepladders without knowing their flip-flops will slide off the well-coifed individual over whom they are claiming superiority. They have no concept the slime on the bottom of their feet is the remnants of their own disasters left uncleaned.
Additionally, they do not see how detrimental their behavior is to the ones who are collateral damage to their slights and slings: like the children who recognize a fount of knowledge when they see it and flock to the feet of the one who will teach them, abandoning those who refuse to allow them room to grow and mature.
There are those who feel my religion is not to their liking because it fails to involve a complete surrender of my decision-making ability, self-sufficiency and integrity are the hypocrites who stand in their homes spouting conjecture as though everyone within earshot should believe I am the root of all evil, cursed by their benevolent loving god with handicapped children as penance for my sin and a bad example to everyone in my sphere.
Sadly, there is no cure for drinking Kool-Aid other than to stop drinking it, flush your system of its poison and grow a spine. Incidentally, my religion is no more anyone else’s affair than my sex life.
To all my detractors, may you find happiness in the distorted non-reality in which you swim. Meanwhile, I will steadfastly hold to the reality existing all around you. I hope the conversation is entertaining. As long as you are talking about me, you are giving someone else a break.
Do small-minded people have anything else to do? How do you stem the tide of useless drivel, oral diarrhea and lies?
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