Because You Never Know

What do you secretly think of the friend who starts every social media morning with “Good morning, fuckers!”?

No added salt is healthy, right?

No added salt is healthy, right?

Do you have any idea why his primary mode of communication is expletives and memes which make you blush or purse your lips? Or do you get put off merely by the shares and break contact? Is it cultural differences or personal differences?

Since it was personal, did you interpret this photo into the serenity and love in a soul those without stuffy boundaries could notice? Or did you skip it because it did not have words splashed all over it?


Did you pass judgment or recognize the dedication to love and faith which sprang in a world which had invested neither in him in sufficient quantity?


10437769_10205129710230010_201326771521885263_nYou knew in the back of your mind there was a story there. Did you watch it play out or assume it was none of your business? Or did you simply think you had enough going on in your own world to dismiss it as melodrama? Were you thankful to make the cut?

I was. Every time I saw a post similar to this one. I knew some of those who were not so lucky. It meant I got to know this side.


The one who gave of himself when it was all he had and even when others dismissed it as not enough.


The one who lived this. The one whose bootstraps were worn from tugging himself up. The one who celebrated the love of other families when his own could not see past what they misunderstood.


The one whose heart poured love out of every scar, every broken crevice, every fibre. The one who knew pain was temporary, worth acknowledging and character-building. The one who cared enough to know he was not the only one who hurt. The one who would ask but never tell you unless you asked. The one who never wanted to be a burden.


This is where he took me for my birthday in 2008. Yes, I was still on the other side of the pond, but he wanted me to get out of the house. He would ride and take pictures of all the places, so I would not feel the distance. He wanted to send me a jar of water; that way I could smell the sea air.


He saw the upside of sleepless nights in the dawns they brought.


He saw the adventure in getting out to see what there was to see, to meet new people, to fellowship with friends new and old, to be head over heels in love again, to see the sparkle in his granddaughter’s eye, to be proud of his children, to make a difference.

Yesterday, a bright light joined the night sky. He made a difference in my life his humility would never share with anyone else. I appreciated the trust it took for him to confide in someone who was physically a world away yet never further than the end of the wire.

I will miss the brashness with which he bid those who could not possibly have cared any less Good Morning! every single day.

May you find the peace which was so elusive, Richy. I shall miss you. xx As always, one for me and one for you.


© Red Dwyer 2015
Images all from social media via Richy Allen. Personal and landscape photos not for distribution.
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  1. When we pass we leave behind those we love and those who are a part of our lives even though we never meet.

    THAT is how we are remembered – if only for a little while… 🙂

    Love and huge hugs Red – YOU MATTER!!! 🙂

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  2. I used a lotta expletives in my former blog. While it was fun at the time, when I read over some stuff now, I get tired of it and disinterested. An expletive here and there is okay, I think. But the name-calling, although not directed personally. is a bit much. I don’t like the term, nor do I like women referencing themselves as bitches. I’m just ole school that way and don’t always embrace the ‘in’ thing. I don’t even like calling folk by their initials. I suppose I’m a bit prudish when it come to such matters.
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  3. Red,

    I say, glass in hand, here’s to Richy, and the new adventure he is pursuing, wherever he has gone. As well, here is to Richy’s good friend, who cares as very few know how….

    Blessed Be, Richy…. you’ll be remembered with love by the many lives you touched. No man can hope for a better epitaph, than friends who will smile when thinking of the times they shared….

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  4. I’m sorry for your loss, Red. He sounds like he was quite a character, in all sense of the word.

  5. Peace to you … and may the memories make you smile.

  6. Gail Thornton

     /  January 8, 2015

    Dearest Red,
    Your post for your dear friend is beautifully melancholy, but with a sweetness of vintage wine. I’m blessed to view through this brief window the richness of a humble and loving man. To know he was there with you in your darkness warms my heart, as he had nothing but love for you.
    Gail xoxox

  7. Oh my dear friend, I wish you would have told me. I am so sorry. I am hugging you.

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  8. I am very sorry that you have lost a dear friend, life is filled with melancholy moments, but Richy, who seemed a very nice and kind hearted man will never be forgotten.

    Not by you, nor anyone that he made contact with for those special kinds of friends never vanish from one’s thoughts.

    R I P Richy…

    Andro xxxx


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