What you see is what you get.
Is this real or “simulated”?
Very rarely is this the case. More often than not, what meets the eye at first blush is far from the true contents of the package. Whether we are talking about products or people, what the box looks like is often deceptive. It is the bane of the first impression.
On Purpose?
People can, but do not always, portray themselves very differently than they really are. Over the course of this series we are going to look at some of the reasons why. Before we are finished, we will look at the reasons why people are not received in the way they present themselves, despite the honesty of the representation.
Why does it matter?
Our survey showed most people choose to limit the information they share at a first meeting to preserve their sense of self or to change the way their acquaintances judge them. It turns out, the judgment of our peers is a reality, even when we choose not to judge them in return. Where does all this judgment really begin?
The Box the Package Comes In
What is your mental picture?
What preconceived notions do you carry with you? Think of the following instances and tell me what the first thing to come to your mind is:
- Blonde
- Obese
- Overalls
- 3-piece suit
- A dirty uniform
- Woman with 3+ small children
- Unshaven, elderly man
Diamonds in the Rough
Humans are visual creatures. Our first input is through our eyes. How do we use what we see to determine worth? When we look at a diamond, we judge it on its appearance only. The color and size show its rarity. The cut gives it quality. Its flaws (or lack of them) assigns character. At the end of the day, how the diamond looks is important. But is it worth any less than the equal diamond still in the rough?
Mining
When we meet a new acquaintance, we are presented with the diamond in a setting. Quaint may look polished on the outside with a pretty setting, but until we delve into the inner character, we have no idea of Quaint’s worth. Is Quaint a true blue or canary yellow? Is Quaint riddled with flaws? Maybe, Quaint is cut and polished on top, but truly rough on the underside, hidden behind the setting… or the opposite may be true.
Playing with Light
Shining a light into a diamond shows more than a jeweler’s loop can. The light shines through, is refracted by the cuts or surfaces and reflected off (or absorbed by) the flaws. What is the light? Our own vision into Quaint’s true character.
Small Appliance or Q-Beam
When we are first introduced, Quaint may not give us anything but a name, as many are wont to do. Before we get to deciding how much Quaint can bring to our lives based solely on devilish good looks and snappy clothes, we need to decide how much light we are going to shine… and if we are willing to let Quaint shine into us.
Dirt on the Lens
If the light tends to bend in a strange direction, do not write Quaint off as not worth the vinegar. The dirt may just be on your corneas. We gauge people according to our experiences and knowledge. Some days, one or both may be lacking to give us a full picture of Quaint’s abilities and characteristics, especially given only a first impression.
Be Still
Listen with an open mind. What seems implausible in the beginning may well become sound when you hear the reasons why. What you guess was the reason (which makes you think badly of Quaint) may not be the real reason. Why have to wipe egg off your face?
If you have missed the first three installments of the Identity Series, please visit the posts below:
The comments are key to how we got to this post.
In the interest of this series: Give me your first thoughts to this list:
- Blonde
- Obese
- Overalls
- 3-piece suit
- A dirty uniform
- Woman with 3+ small children
- Unshaven, elderly man
lorrelee1970
/ December 30, 2011I just saw people without thinking further into who they were or how they were. I don’t think I did this correctly.
1.Blonde: I envisioned a random blonde woman……
2.Obese…but she was obese
3.Overalls…and she was wearing overalls.
4.3-piece suit: The image dropped out of sight and I thought about my husband on our wedding day.
5.A dirty uniform: I envisioned a mechanic.
6.Woman with 3+ small children: I thought about myself.
7.Unshaven, elderly man: An image from a character I wrote about in a short story.
Red
/ December 30, 2011LOL @ 1-3. I like the fact you included yourself.