Anyone up for a rant? I know I am.

This blog post is dedicated to all the sexually repressed individuals the world over. Let’s begin with a few facts, shall we?

1. Every person on this planet was a product of sex.

Antique Globe

Even most test tube babies were the product of at least manual sex. Very, very, very (enough it does not count statistically) few were conceived using only clinically removed ova and sperm.

2. Nearly every person on the planet will have sex.

Another microbial statistic is the number of people who will not have sex in their lifetimes. The numbers for intercourse are amazingly low. The number who will never engage in oral sex are lower. The number of those who will not engage in manual sex (“Masturbation” if you cannot ravel the PC name for it.) is lower than whale poo.

3. Without sex, humans would be extinct.


4. Sex is a biological function.

It is perfectly normal for people to have sex. They are mammals. Sex is the only way to reproduce. When done well, it is enjoyable and has benefits.

5. Sex is good for the human body and mind.

  • Aerobic exercise which increases heart and breathing rates
  • Creates endorphins
  • Elevates mood
  • Energizes
  • Causes better sleep
  • Lowers stress reactions and blood pressure
  • Increases circulation
  • Burns calories and fat
  • Boosts immunity
  • Reduces pain
  • Builds muscle control
  • Reduces risk of prostate cancer
  • Boosts self esteem
  • Deepens trust
  • Lengthens lifespan

Begin Rant

Since sex is a completely natural function, something everyone does at some point, is healthy mentally and physically, is legal between consenting adults,Β the question begs to be asked…

From whom are you hiding?

How about a few more facts, hmm?

The appointment was not with a bird.

The appointment was not with a bird.

1. Your brats mini-mes children were not the product of immaculate conception, did not come from IKEA and are not someone else’s progeny.

Everyone who is not you knows the stork does not deliver babies.

2. That hickey on your neck is not a curling iron burn. You are bald.


IMG01886-20120628-11593. You did not buy the water bra from Victoria’s Secret, the CMFM pumps and the little black dress for your self-esteem, or you would not be on the couch in a robe eating a Lean Cuisine, followed by a pint of Moose Tracks.

Feeling good about your body and making it more attractive to others leads to the F in CMFM.

4. Your children have sex.

See number 1. It applies to your grandchildren.

5. You did not forget how the morning after.Β 

Like riding a bicycle. You just quit the last time you got off.


show meYou have them. So does e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. else.

In your quest to fit in with the latest fashion trend, shoehorn yourself into pants two sizes below what you should have bought and not realizing you had worn out the seat of those jeans, everyone else knows you have them… they are on display.

Whether it is a penis and testicles or a vagina and vulva, everyone has at least one set of genitalia. Whether you choose to use the clinical names for them or the plethora of colloquialisms, you still have them.

If you get offended by words… let me repeat that… WORDS, you need to get a grip. Adjust your universal translator to the setting which renders all the colloquialisms into whatever word it is which does not turn your crank, make you blush or put you into a sexual predator mode.

However, you have no right to curtail my use of the clinical terms for genitalia or the term sex. Why? Because there is nothing wrong with it, and you have them or them and it.

Let’s Review

A. There is nothing wrong with sex.

B. There is no reason to be embarrassed about sex because even your parents had it.

C. Everyone has genitalia, even if they call it something different from you.

Any questions?

(c) Red Dwyer 2013
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  1. I went for years thinking since I was adopted my parents did not have sex, even told my teachers they were disgusting for telling me otherwise (sex ed in the 70’s was very different). I was so disappointed to find out they did.

    Sooo, can we stop some people from reproducing when fornicating?

    Valentine Logar recently posted..Flash Fiction 7My Profile

    • I like where our program is going. By all means. If you are entitled to sex, you are entitled to subsequently childless sex. I am certain this will get an immediate second and pass with a mere head count. *snort* xxx

  2. Celibacy is an exercise in… sigh… too many dust bunnies around those memories… but only because I am most discerning about with whom I, you know… fornicate…
    That’s my story and I’m sticking with it!!!

    BuddhaKat recently posted..FractaliaMy Profile

    • There is nothing wrong with having taste beyond what is in your mouth. πŸ˜‰ xxx

  3. PS – LOVE the shoes!!!

    BuddhaKat recently posted..FractaliaMy Profile

  4. What???? WE ALL HAVE PARTS!!!!!!!!!!


    That’s how much I heard when I was growing up.
    C. Brown recently posted..If I Could…..My Profile

  5. Me too! (wish more parents would read this).

    Sure takes the ‘sting’ out of discomfort when you read this.
    C. Brown recently posted..The V.I.P. MotelMy Profile

  6. Hey, love the shoes, too!
    I don’t have a problem with anyone having sex, including myself. I only encountered a problem once. I am in my late fifties and “gasp” elders have sex, too! I had to ask my thirty-something son to knock and told him if he didn’t want to walk in on me and my man having sex, knocking was in his best interest! He was happy to knock after that, haha.

  7. Seems like you covered all the bases and I mean this in your writing and probably in your sex life. I can’t argue with anything you said. I do however, love and equally detest comments made by my female peers (usually after drinking). regarding their lackluster sex lives with their significant other. Love: I have an amazing one with mine. Detest: I feel quite sorry for them. Marriage, babies and/or age should not be the beginning of one’s sexual extinction.
    ArticlesofAbsurdity recently posted..To my children: β€œI’ll never be your friend.” Love, MomMy Profile

    • Slam dunk comment. If anything, at least to my mind, as we age, sex should get better as we learn what we and our partners like and dislike. It is a simple learning curve which can be just as steep as any other. In terms of things my inquiring mind wants to know, how to make sex more satisfying has to rank somewhere at the top of the list for my own sanity. xxx

  8. LOL! No questions; you were pretty clear. Plus, I would suspect you know all of it for certain, from first-hand experience, so to speak….


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