big troll

Mean-spirited, dim-witted

Trolls are nasty creatures. The misshapen, ill-mannered, ill-tempered, kidnapping monsters hide from light and morality and eat their kinfolk and farm animals. From their Norse beginnings to their modern internet incarnation, trolls are objectionable on all levels. (Buckle up, Betsy. I think this may be a rough ride.)


Trolls popped out of the ground into existence in Norse mythology as a negative kind of giant. When they crossed to the other side of the Scandinavian peninsula, they severed from the giants to be the trolls of legend.

two headed troll

Two heads does not equal more brains.

Living in rock formations, mountains (Who is going to be the first person to say hillbilly?) and caves (Neanderthal, anyone?), these often ugly, brutish, dimwitted, anti-social, mean-spirited creatures liked the distance between themselves and humans. They did not mind getting close for a lamb dinner, though.

Artistic License

father daughter troll couple

Unnatural Liaisons?

Some authors have painted trolls with much more human visages, speech and characteristics, but none could completely shed their strange familial habits of pairing off in father-daughter or mother-son units. (Please save your incest japes for my hatemail box…not the comments.)

Regardless of nuance variances, trolls are loathsome monsters, no matter which author, filmmaker or video game designer conjured them. They are bent on mischief, mayhem and wickedness.


Sunlight is said to turn a troll to stone. Varying tribes of trolls are more resistant to daylight than others. Then, we turn to the dawn of a new age.

Internet Trolls

internet troll

Loathsome Little Creature

Today’s troll may be more linguistically advanced, but is just as vile. Hiding behind a screen name, avatar and computer screen, the troll is just as mean and hateful as the rock-hiding species of old.

Rather than offering anything of value, the troll vomits off-topic, hurtful and spammy comments every place where positive, neutral or constructively critical feedback is warranted, acceptable or desired.

Good luck with that. The troll only makes its intentional comments to elicit an emotional response. This small-minded vermin is as happy with negative attention as any other form.

Kidnapping Terrorists

Likened to terrorists, trolls sabotage and create mischief wherever they turn up in the virtual world. Even if the troll has a venue of its own, like a blog, it is far happier voting down other’s material instead of creating valuable material of its own.

troll thief

Thieves in the Night

Just like its mythological ancestors, internet trolls are kidnappers. Since finding an edible (physical) plump goat or elementary-school aged child is impossible on the web, trolls are content to kidnap your audience.

By dropping controversial and/or offensive remarks, trolls force you (or your audience) to defend your space’s honor. Alternatively, with sufficient negativity, trolls can alienate your audience altogether.

Super Genius or Ultra Maroon

The troll is convinced it has superior (intellect, morals, ideals) and will employ whatever means at its disposal to reveal your perceived shortcomings. While it will stoop to abysmal depths to wreak its havoc, knowing how it thinks (Yes, it has a method.) is an effective means of seeing its actions for what they are: Sabotage.

It will remember what you say in an effort to use the statements out of context to destroy your authority for your given subject. It will employ tangential references to establish its own authority. Even in its typo-laden, out-of-context, misquoted way, a small amount of credence is developed. This is how the troll lures its prey: Appealing to the primal and baser instincts of your audience.

anatomy of a troll brain

It uses quotes well. Wrong, but well.


troll under a bridge

Trolls are Cowards

For all its brutish strength, trolls are afraid to come out and engage. Often blamed on fear of daylight, the cowardice is actually a diversionary tactic. Trolls wait until you are nowhere near your space in hopes your unguarded audience will venture out for it to pounce upon them. Whether to convince them you have no authority or merely to eat your reputation (tastes like sheep), trolls will not be brave and face you, in the privacy of your message box or when you are present to comment or remove its comments.

do not feed the trolls

Starve the Muggers

Do Not Feed The Trolls

The only effective means of dealing with trolls is to ignore them. When its hunting ground is devoid of well-meaning, tenderhearted, knowledgeable, argumentative prey, it will skulk back to its lair (crawl back under its rock).


When was the last time you saw a troll? How did you defeat it? Has it moved to a different hunting ground? Have you ever been kidnapped or brutalized by a troll? What is effective defense against trolls?

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2012
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  1. Hi Red I thought this was going to be about the teenager type troll but great to see it was about the lowest of the low troll. Nice one 😉

    • Nigel, you know I am all about surprises 😉 And thank you for the award. I have a discussion with your name all over it on LI. 🙂

  2. I was married to a troll at one time.

  3. This is a great posting Red and right up my street with this chosen subject matter, I think that these Trolls enjoy all of the above and a whole lot more, wreaking havoc and enjoying their dastardly plans, infiltrating and sometimes stealthily attacking at will, eroding the surroundings and desperately building an army against the good.

    Of course as evil spreads its vileness, thrusting a dark shadow over anything which is deemed interesting it consumes the integrity of decent bloggers. These Trolls prey on the weaker elements of our community, hiding like cowardly slime that only relates to the gutter, garbage falling as disorganised wordage and as the Troll digs even deeper, clawing its way through the positivity and optimistic edges of our environments it crushes all that are too delicate to stand against it.

    I figure that ignoring and deleting their despicability is one way of defeating Trolls but sometimes it is better to send them back to whence they came, now whose turn is it to flush? 😉

    Have a wicked evening Red 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

    • I have engaged both methods. Often it is fun to watch them entrench in ill-based argument, but I do so at the peril of my audience who is greatly incensed by the whole affair. The repartee often overshadows the beneficence of the post itself.

      As colorful and amusing as they can be in their backward ways, trolls are best fodder for the iggy bin. I hope you can join me for Talk Tuesday, which should begin as this comment goes live!


      • Yes I will have a look at that one next, I just called in to be nosy, I mean to check up on you, I mean… Okay to read up on all of the comments and replies, I often do that just before I leave for the morning 🙂

        I know what you mean about battling on with the Trolls I have done this exact same thing on my last Space and it scares the hell out of most followers, thinking that they will be roped in or targeted just for being a friend, and so, although I do not mind engaging with sword and shield to the bloody end, it is wiser to ignore them and so keep a happy Space intact for all the very nice peeps that visits one 🙂

        Have a lovely time this evening Red 🙂

        Androgoth XXx

        • I do the self-same thing 😉 It is the one time stalking is encouraged!

          I hope you bring a cuppa to the next post!

  4. I love that I never know what I’m going to find in one of your blog posts! Once again you have made me laugh out loud. I don’t have any trolls on my blogs yet, but I am now well prepared should they show their ugly heads. I try very hard to just move on if I disagree or can’t support something instead of trolling for those who I could “enlighten” with my superior skill and knowledge lol. I have certainly “met” a few trolls in my day, however, and I will now recommend this post as a “how to disarm, disable and disembowel internet trolls.” 😀

  5. bear

     /  January 25, 2012

    Great post!!!!! I don’t think I can add a single thing. Oh, sometimes you gotta call them by name because they think your talking about the other troll. Remember, never feed a troll after midnight and never ever put water on them!!!!!!!!

    • Why, Bear, I think you must have seen a documentary on them!

    • bear

       /  January 25, 2012

      I guess I did have something to say as a troll destroyer, I looked at the diagram of the trolls brain. This one is not correct…it doesn’t show the dick that is in there. Say it ain’t so, Mr. Jackson!!!

      • ROFL! It is right behind the episodic spot. Had to use the G-rated version of the diagram…

      • bear

         /  January 25, 2012

        Ok so everyone knows I am actually an agent for TROLL, in case you were wondering that stands for Track Run Over Little Losers…a very secret organization that neutralizes the little buggers so beware…I will hunt you down before any damage is done!!!!!

  6. When I got my first series of trolls, I attempted to intellectually battle them with pure logic. Once I discovered that all they wanted was confrontation, I ignored my penchant for always having the last scathing word, and just told them they were absolutely correct: I should die a horrid death and I hoped they would have a good day.

    Haven’t heard anything since. Nowadays, I just ignore ’em if they come. All they want it is to be on your mind. I’m busier that that, thank goodness. 🙂
    George recently posted..AC Classic~ April Fool’s DayMy Profile

    • Red

       /  April 1, 2012

      I hear that! I have had my times where I fire back. But considering my penchant for sarcasm, it is completely lost on them…See any edition of the Friday Follies for a taste 😉 Great to see you tonight, George!

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