The 35th edition of the Friday Follies is an M3 first. We are dedicating this post to one contestant who has proven worthy of a crown from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere. Put the drink out of reach, this is an arm-waving, fist-shaking post. *giggles*
Red has gone and done it!
Every M3 Reader knows where I stand on cyberbullying: The ground of intolerance. Over the course of the last monthish, there has been a bully extorting a blogger, and fellow M3 Reader, you have seen in the comments, Noeleen. If you have not been to Words Fall From My Eyes, you should stop by to take a look at her novel, a memoir, in draft.
As is the case with most memoirs, there is inevitably some player in the cast who remembers things quite differently. Such is the case with Noeleen’s memoir. She has a nameless sister, named Lana in her memoir, names changed to protect the guilty and innocent alike. That is right, guys and dolls, this person has no proper name. Good thing, too, as there is nothing she has shown to proves she is proper.
When Lana climbed into Noeleen’s inbox, it was because her inflammatory comments had led to her being disapproved to leave any further. Join me in saying, Hoozah! for the block button. I routinely drop and delete spam comments from M3 and will continue to bomb the little wigglers into oblivion. (Hold that thought…we will get back to it.)
Noeleen was pressured by the hatemail. She posted about her feelings of unease and need of support from her readers. (Enter Red.) In support of my friend, I sent the following message in a comment on WFFME to her hatemailer:
My email address is Red@mommasmoneymatters.com You are welcome to send me whatever you desire. I feature bullies and idiots like you who fail to see the value in the blogged word, and I do it on a weekly basis. I point out how small-minded, bigoted and stereotypical people like you are, with your half-truths and quarter understanding, your knee-jerk reactions and preposterous vitriol.
If you are wanting an audience, I am a big one. You have the bravado to bully Noeleen for doing what she is, which she does rather well (not that you could recognize quality), but do you have the courage to bring your palaver to someone who has no compunction about judging it?
The inbox is always open.
This invitation has been given to many. As luck would have it, Noeleen’s hatemailer was apparently too Internet handicapped to just email me. Instead, she “erected” (her word) a blog because she feels like she has some right to respond (in any hate-filled manner she chooses) on everyone else’s domain.
Rare Moment: Go, WordPress!!
WordPress informed her she had no right to Noeleen’s subscriber list, to comment on her blog or to demand WP take down WFFME. Yay! Someone at WP has gehetties in telling a whiner they are not entitled to censor the blogosphere.
In a frightening turn of events, Akismet stepped up to the plate to back WordPress. When this person came to M3 to spam with a link to her “blog”, she became a wiggler in the spam net. (Reinsert image of wiggler.)
What’s with the quotes?
This troll’s “blog” is nothing more than a protracted refutation of a passage (all of 6 paragraphs in a memoir of epic proportions). What is her plan?
That is right, guys and dolls. Troll says she will take down her “blog” when Noeleen “edits” her memoir (really?) to the troll’s liking.
Enter the FBI.
Since she could get no satisfaction with WP, and she is certain I (me, of all people) would not QUOTE her on Friday Follies, went to the FBI. Here it is from her diatribe (Part II that is):
Red, in the case of you and the Heretic, I have forwarded copies of your comments to the Internet crime section of the FBI, as you have both threatened harm to a person who is completely unknown to you. That makes you both undesirables and dangerous people. Neither of you even knew the true nature of my quarrel with Noeleen (until now). I have contempt for the pair of you. As stated previously, I won’t be viewing your imbecilic sites. I have contempt for the pair of you and wouldn’t give you the time of day, let alone waste my time and strain my eyesight ploughing through your online dribble. Why don’t you both get out into the real world and form friendships and human bonds in the ‘normal’ way? Neither of you even knows Noeleen, let alone me. Only two of Noeleen’s commenters seem to have an ounce of intelligence, possessing the gift of neutrality and non-judgmentalism and an awareness that they might not have the full picture before them – but you two drongos are not them.
[Redacted large threat to Heretic]
When you “ridicule’ me on your site, you should also post my comments in the interests of fairness, but you wouldn’t, would you. Can’t take a challenge or a diverging view. I call you a coward and a cretin – and I have reported you to the FBI, along with Red. I deplore the fact that I have been drawn into erecting my own web site and dealing with Jerry-Springer-audience-type characters.”
Welcome to Friday Follies! No, I did not add the emphasis. Troll did that all on her own. She did not view M3, but she did come to leave her spam on Muse for Monday. Shame, too, because had she read it, she could have seen herself in it.
Do not fear about The Heretic. Your fellow M3 Reader is holding his own version of the Friday Follies at his podcast. Check him out! Sailor talk included for punctuation. Illustrations provided…including the threat I redacted.
Since this is normally the portion of Friday Follies where I ask you to get out your AK-47s and weapons of mass destruction, I have to let you in on the abbreviated portion of my first retort to her. (Insert wicked laughter.) Do note, I was able to refrain from my Grammar Nazism.
I wondered if you would ever get around to contacting any of us. I love it! I am on a first name basis with many in the FBI Internet crime division. I am afianced to a law enforcement officer. I am certain he will get a good laugh out of your threatening me with police action and internet crime.
[…]Given there are no other comments on your blog and Heretic got here before I did, I feel safe in the assumption you are deleting all which are not apologetic. It is your venue, but my response is saved, as you have just awarded yourself a spot in my Friday Follies.
Perhaps, you can take your own advice and get a life. All of the people you accuse in this post of harming you have done no such thing. In fact, Valentine Logar was correct. You are very jealous. Otherwise, you would not have chosen to “erect” this blog to air your grievances. Perhaps, you do not have the chutzpah to write a book.
Either way, you are the Internet riffraff which makes my job so enjoyable.
Yes, indeed, it is not just I who have been summoned to her diatribe. She douses all bloggers with gasoline and lights them ablaze in her condemnation of the “WWW”. You see, in Troll’s estimation, we all are unable to “form friendships and human bonds in the ‘natural way’ ” and are attention-seeking imbeciles in need of “internet fame”.
(Pardon me for the slight delay in our programming. I needed to pick myself back up off the floor. Bwahahaha!)
Not done yet!
She responded that I was an ass for assuming, yet follows that statement with the following gem:
I assumed that all comments would be posted instantly to my blog, but, surprisingly, they were not. I had to log in to my blog and “approve” the comments before they were posted.”
Wow! Perhaps, if she had read this “imbecilic site”, she would have known to read the directions. (Only the latest link to the long line of posts about time management and life fulfillment)
Want one better?
She suggested I (Red Dwyer, fellow of Merriam Webster) read the dictionary.
(I will now pause our programming to allow you to pick yourself back up off the floor! Take a sip, and set the drink back off to the side. We are moving on…)
We are going on a field trip to her erection. Let’s go invade trolldom. You will find many bloggers who are part of the M3 Readers and members on your own blogs and those you visit. Even my sister was not above being flamed on this troll’s blog.
Be aware of these things:
- Troll is redacting and changing her flaming according to the intelligent (and snarky) responses she has gotten so far from those of us unwilling to be a victim.
- Troll has no concept of the difference between rights and privileges, nor any sense of publishing protocol or ettiquette.
- Troll is a name-caller. (Shudder in your boots…hurry.)
- Troll is (also) a contestant because she only reads titles.
- The first post is irrelevant. It is her refutation of items which are truly none of our concern. They are a family matter. Please ignore it.
- If you do choose to read the first post, please skip to the portions where she disparages all bloggers as mentally defective, addicted and so forth.
- Read her threats and accusations on the second post.
And best suggestion of all….
No need to bring flame retardant or pepper spray, but let’s give her a crash course in minding her manners. She came to M3 to get you to come to her “blog” and thinks all of the M3 audience should know Red is a threat to her physically, mentally, emotionally and a threat to her pristine, peaceful, private personal reputation.
All I can say is this:
When you tangle with the beast, do not be surprised when you get the horns and the hooves.”
I would never bite her. I am certain she is an inbox crazy who has not had her shots.
I hope your week has been free of hatemail, shotless crazies, trolls and cyber bullies. Thank you for joining me for the 35th edition of the Friday Follies from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere. Until next week, I hope you have a terrific weekend!
Leave me a description of this troll in 50 words or less. What do you think of censoring memoirs? Can some Internet savvy M3 Reader please explain to me the “right of response”, especially given there is no due process in the blogosphere?
When you tweet and +1 this post, please use the hashtags #censorship and #cyberbullying. Many thanks to my SM fans!