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Testing Follies

Red Mathis liked this post

In a week where we tested the limits, broke a bunch of furniture and were filled with righteous indignation, the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere is full. It is entirely possible I will need to find replacement rivets for it. Put your drink to the side because it is time for an around the world trip through the M3 Friday Follies.

Had to go Somewhere

Voldemort gets no ink this week other than the credit for how much has ended up in the inbox. Sheesh. Apparently, there are enough places to find my WhoIs and my email address. Clyde wound up with the leftovers from the failed SEP to discuss personal information. In an M3 first, I had to delete more comments than are on the post now.

How about a highlight reel?

Why are you bashing internet security? O ya. No one would want to steal your identity.”

Not true, but thank you for the endorsement. Mine has only been stolen by credit card swipe technology. And then, only three times.

It is in the terms of service nobody can use your imformaiton. That’s why they keep it.”

Really? What about the clause which says they can store, edit, modify, broadcast, share and otherwise cause to be displayed the information you provide in order to make their websites run? Guess you stopped reading a little early.

Beauty is not an opinion. Everyone knows [redacted] is the most beautiful woman on the planet. You can’t argue some people are not beautiful.”

I beg to differ. Beauty is completely subjective. While many have told me I was beautiful, I was voted ugliest in my class for seven consecutive years. Beauty is, indeed, in the eye of the beholder.

(Aside: The redacted name is not one of the women who are known for being mathematically beautiful, and was definitely not her.)

Inventor of wifi

And showing an utter lack of originality, the tried and true:

How many husbands do you have to kill to be off the internet?”

Apparently, all of them.

Military Ignorance

I am pretty quick to admit I know a bit about war from the ones who fought it. In fact, most of what I know about war convinced me I would never get the real story from history books. It needed to come from the mouths (and fingers) of those who have lived it.

Candi thinks I am stoopid. Hatemailing from our militant neighbor, Canada, Ottawa to be exact, she is certain I have it wrong. “It” to be exact is both militarily and geographically.

There is no such thing as a “hump” between india and china. India is flat and so is china. All of that part of asia is the same. Sure they have hills but really. There was nothing to fly anything over over there during the war. India and china were never in a war together. Dont you research this stuff first?”

Am I the only one who can imagine a heart over the “i”? I put on a huge grin for this one…after I got up off the floor.

I always wondered why the US military called it “Indo-China”. See, I was taught the Himalayas were over there somewhere, but if you are right they are on the north border of China. Is that what you mean? Funny, how do you explain the 2,000 foot difference in altitude between India and China?

Good thing I have to learn these things to teach school. Sheesh.

Swirlie

Contrary to the consensus, one hatemailer agrees with me… there is nothing romantic about me. Dahlia hatemails from Nevada to say I should quit while I am ahead.

Why the [expletive] do you think killing somebody’s wife is romantic?”

Anyone want to pen a response to Dahlia?

Misfiled

I have one of the most bizarre filing systems, yet it is not something which overcomes my OCD in terms of M3. Around here, things are logically filed. To do otherwise would be far too assuming of me. Despite my diligence to ensure there are no “uncategorized” posts or blatant misfilings which would lead to undue traffic (which I am sure Voldemort appreciates…not), Madison is sure I got it wrong.

Hatemailing from Henggangzen, s/he is certain I have no filing system whatsoever. Specifically, Mantra, The Muse is the post in error.

So you got this Mantra for a Muse thing and this romantic thing but you put this on another day inplace of what should be here. [Expletive initials] are you trying to do? It is confusing enough you kill people on romance day and muse on monday so [expletive initials] is muse on tuesday all about?”

Apparently, I needed to clear all feature changes through him/her. Let’s get interactive, shall we?

Thank you for your interest in the scheduling of M3 features. Although Red frequently polls her audience as to their preferences, your complaint is lodged more than thirty (30) days after the expiration of the poll in question. Keep visiting M3 to take part in more polls in the future. Help guide M3 to be the blog of your dreams (without all the hassle of writing it yourself!).

~~~~~

In a genuine issue with authority, it is uniquely Red’s perspective to defy the calendar and naming conventions established in society and on The M3 Blog. While your hatemail has been duly noticed, you should receive your response from Red within the next week. She makes a point of acknowledging all of those who choose to lend a guiding hand to M3. Keep reading!

~~~~~

In my own unique way, I have developed a strategy to divorce society from the hindering parameters set by the calendar. I fully believe in virtual time and hold the opinion everyone should mark the passage of time by their own scale. For the small fee of $15, you, too, can own a Red calendar, if you choose to embrace my time line. It comes complete with 27-30 hour day each week (which is nine days instead of the paltry seven), to ensure all the time you need to complete those rush projects.

If you would like a course on how to manage time your way, please forward the standard fee of $79 to me, and we will schedule your session before the end of my year. It happens to coincide with March 15, 2013 on the Gregorian calendar.

~~~~~

What do you want to bet, Madison has already missed the answer?

Truly Dystopian

So, just in case you were unaware, my horns and hooves were on display yesterday for all who came to visit. In yesterday’s very simply named post, BadI created a true dystopian society to engage in the lively discussion which still continues where we set the parameters for a utopian society.

To say the hatemail has trickled in would be one monstrous

I am fairly certain we could devote an entire post to the hatemail generated by this one post. Should we send it past Madison to have a Friday Follies in the middle of next week?  Anyone want to put it to a poll?

~~~~~~~~~~


Thank you for joining me for the 46th edition of the M3 Friday Follies from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere! I hope you week has been free of Internet security, schedules, maps, romance and hatemail. Have a wonderful weekend.

What shall we send to Dahlia? Let me know what you want to send to Madison. Tell me if you would like a specific episode of Follies where we discuss the hatemail from Bad. Drop by and let us know what you think about utopia. Be sure to vote in the poll.

(c) Red Dwyer 2012
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.



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42 Comments

  1. tell dahlia suck eggs…
    and answer 3 is my choice as well – I like the idea … I might have to market Lizzie Time watches along with your calendars – oh my wouldn’t the world be grand 🙂 Im game for middle of the week but not if it dips into your holiday ( I was going to capitalize that..just saying 😉 ) or family time… the haters can sit with the turkey..s

    Love you muchly and ..stuff.. like hearts and flowers and ya know lovey gooball stuff..
    <3Lizzie
    Lizzie Cracked recently posted..Back to Basics; Mid-Afternoon Mental MomentMy Profile

    Reply
    • I think you and Clyde were talking whilst I was not listening. I think you can do all the cover art on the calendar for all 13 months next year *giggles* <3 Muah!

      Reply
  2. Let’s discuss hatemailers and Bad.
    Dahlia: It’s hot!
    Madison: You should take down the post and repost it as if it’s brand new. Commenters can go along with it, really confuse her and ensure she gets committed to a nice facility full of meds.
    Candi: Are you sure that wasn’t Ann Coulter who wrote to you?
    Lorre recently posted..Stop, Drop and RollMy Profile

    Reply
  3. Number three it has to be…
    no tryptophan for me, please,
    I’ll overload on coffee…
    After a moment of thought,
    I see Taylor and Jolie,
    but soon get a headache
    trying to think like a banshee…
    Front and center I’ll be
    and thankful for the wondrous follies…

    PS:
    Once every 5000 years, my calendar
    and some others in use coincide,
    yet methinks this time…
    it will be more like “collide”!!
    Let’s wait until Dec 21, 2012…
    yes, let’s wait and see…
    I’ll be the one, watching in glee
    you can bet on me NOT
    to run and hide!!!

    🙂
    BuddhaKat recently posted..Will the Real Guy Please Stand Up?My Profile

    Reply
    • Oooooooooooooh, I love it!!! I will definitely NOT be hiding either 😉 I am certain three was the absolute winner this week. <3 Have a great turkey day!

      Reply
  4. Hi fellow blogger! I have nominated you for Blog Of The Year 2012. Congratulations! Please see my post for the rules.
    The Heretic recently posted..Blog Of The Year 2012 AwardMy Profile

    Reply
    • Wow! You are up early on Thanksgiving morning! Thank you. I shall be ’round shortly. 😉

      Reply
  5. Marina

     /  November 25, 2014

    To say that “it is in the terms of service nobody can use your information..that’s why they keep it” is pure BS. How in the world could they ever account for those snippets of info about yourself which they first collect then store and share in order to keep their website running?

    Reply

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