Ever live with someone with road rage? It is very, frighteningly enlightening. The rager rails against traffic the self-same annoyances and infractions he commits. Beware the rager driving beside you. Know how to spot a road rager? Print this. Make notes in the margins.
Most drivers never notice the things which send the road rager into a tizzy.
- “Right on my tail” or “Damn tailgater”: A car which drifts close and then falls back
- “Maniac!”: A driver which passes the road rager
- “Idiot!”: A driver which needs to be passed
Know in advance the rager’s speed is the only one which is “sane” or accepted.
The Blinking Lights
Turn signals, whether used properly or improperly, are more cause for road rage.
- The cotton-top looking through the steering wheel, going around the world to the left searching for a beauty parlor with blue hair dye, merits a tongue lashing and a horn honk.
- The 32-year-old pick-up truck with no tail gate and one primer fender, which fails to signal a left turn, even after slowing all the way down to 6 miles per hour over the last three-quarter mile (sneaking up on the intersection), earns a tirade, arm waving and possibly a one finger salute.
Open-road, highway driving is the rager’s bane. Reactions vary by offense.
- Changes lanes in front of the rager and within 500 feet: at least one obscenity
- Changing two or more lanes (signal or not): arm waving and obscenity
- Changing lanes and slowing down: steering wheel pounding, stream of obscenities and the one finger salute as he passes the offensive mobile
Yet, when the rager commit these offenses, he expects all other drivers on the road to be forgiving of his poor planning and inexperience.
The Driving School
Student drivers test the rager’s obscene vocabulary and can cause him to coin new phrases. He prattles, loudly:
- The cautious nature of the driver
- Maintenance of the speed limit (despite his being late)
- The credentials of the instructor (only he has the skills to train drivers)
- Just to name a few…
In spite of your diplomacy, pointing out to your road rage beast he has done all those things at some point in his driving career is absolutely ineffective. Likewise, attempting to encourage patience and courtesy toward those below his artful skill level is fruitless.
The Best Defense
- Make sure your horn works.
- Pull a bit off the side of the road (in southern style), allowing him to pass. (Just do not stop and wait for him to get out!)
- Know the free cell number to the highway patrol.
The best defense against road rage drivers: Stay off the road from 4 to 6 p.m. on Fridays!
Author’s Note: Although this post portrays a male driver, the female of the road rage species is far more unreasonable, undeterred and utterly dangerous.
This reminds you of whom?